Ramune
by PolarisRain
Summary: Jou has gotten his wish and is now dating the gorgeous Seto Kaiba. However, Honda, the best friend and loyal sidekick, has a secret that he promises he will never let Jou know. SxJ, SxH, Hxvarious
1. Envy

Ramune

Written by: Rain (Gutterangel)

Rated: R (or M but I think the new rating system is stupid)

Genre: Romance x Drama

Warnings: Yaoi, citrus, language.

Pairings: Seto x Jou, Seto x Honda

Notes: I've gotten into Seto x Honda, but I don't know how it started. Honda's actually a really spiffy character when you think about it. He's always there for his friends and he's pretty down to earth. Why people bash him is beyond me (though, they could have tried harder on his hair…)

Anyways, Ramune, in case you didn't know, is a kind of soda where a marble is pushed down into a cradle at the top of the bottle to open it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-gi-oh. What else is new? I also don't own Ramune though it tastes REALLY REALLY good and the marble jingle all fun like! Hehe

x-x-x

Chapter One: Envy

It was a Thursday when Hiroto Honda found out his best friend was dating billionaire, Seto Kaiba. He congratulated his friend and put a smile on, saying, "Good for you, Man!" They ended up having a sleepover, the main topic on Jounouchi Katsuya's tongue being nothing else but Seto. Honda acted like he didn't mind; keeping his grin on his face until Jou was fast asleep.

That was less than a month ago.

Honda had his hands in his pockets, strolling down the sidewalk of Domino City. His jacket was keeping him warm from the autumn chill that was growing more and more by the day. He turned the corner and walked up the steps to Jou's apartment. He knocked on the door and waited with an uneasy look in his eye.

Shizuka opened the door, "Oh. Hi Honda." She said, blushing lightly, "How are you?"

Honda nodded politely, "I'm fine. Is your brother ready?"

"I think so." She looked nervous, twirling her hair, "Let me get him. Come inside. It's freezing out there."

Honda nodded again, stepping into the home, "Thanks." He watched her leave, calling out her brother's name.

Jou had a hair elastic in his mouth when he approached his friend. He smiled and pulled his messy hair into a nub at the back of his head, "Hey Man." He pounded fists with Honda.

Honda smiled, "I didn't know Shizuka was visiting. You should tell me these things, Dude."

"Sorry. It was sort of a surprise. I promise I'll tell you next time." He grabbed his jacket and beamed, "Man, it was the coolest! I saw Seto last night and he took me out to dinner. It was so sweet!" he tugged on his shoes, "Bye Sis!"

"See you later, Jou! Bye Honda!" a voice called from down the hallway.

Honda smiled sadly, "That's great, Man. I'm happy you two are doing so well."

"Yea, it's great, huh? I finally feel like I belong somewhere, ya know?" Jou locked the door behind him, walking out into the fall weather, "Geez its cold!

"Tell me about it, Man." Honda said, walking down the steps, "What do you want to do today?"

Jou shrugged, "I don't know. I guess the arcade. Seto and I are going out again tonight and I asked him to pick me up at about five. Is that cool?"

"Fine." Honda shrugged, "Is he picking you up at home?"

"I'll call him at five and tell him where I am. He said to dress casually so I think I'm good the way I am right now."

Honda laughed, "Except for that midget ponytail. What is with that, Dude?"

Jou blushed a little bit, nudging Honda, "Shut up! Seto said my hair gets in the way of my face."

"Oh. Of course. We can't disappoint Kaiba." Honda said, rolling his eyes.

"Shut up!" Jou snapped, pushing his friend to the side. He shared the laughter with his friend. Nothing could bring him down. He had a best friend, a boyfriend, and a whole weekend with nothing to do but dream off in La La Land.

"You should get a girlfriend, Honda. I don't mind you datin' Shizuka. Just get out there, Man!"

Honda kept his eyes focused on the sidewalk in front of them. He couldn't look Jou in the eyes very often anymore. If he did, Jou would find out the secret that's been floating inside of Honda's body for quite some time now. _As long as he's happy, he never has to know._ Honda told himself in the mirror every morning; it was like a mantra whenever he could take the stress anymore.

If he didn't do that every so often, Honda doubted he would stay Jou's best friend for much longer.

x-x-x

"Are you thinking about something else, Honda? That's the third time I've beat you!" Jou elbowed his friend, laughing loudly as they restarted the game.

Honda gave a weak laugh, "I guess I just got my head in the clouds. Sorry, Man!" he bit his lip, pressing the button to start his player.

"You know I have most of these games. Why don't you just play at my house instead of wasting your money here?" a voice came from behind them. Seto Kaiba stood with his arms crossed and an amused grin spreading onto his lips. Honda's game character exploded.

"Set-kun!" Jou cried, running into the arms of his brunet boyfriend. He smiled and placed a kiss on Seto's cheek; no shame written on his face.

Honda watched with a blank expression in his eyes. His fists clenched but no bitter words were said. He watched Seto embrace his best friend and swallowed hard. There he was. The object of his desires was being fond to another man. Honda couldn't handle it much longer. _I need to get out of here._

Seto looked over Jou's golden hair and locked eyes with the disgruntled teen. He nods at him in acknowledgment and pulls Jou away from him, "Are you ready to go?"

Jou nodded, grabbing Seto's hand, "Uh huh! I'm starvin'!"

The billionaire smirked at Honda, "Do you want a ride home?"

"I don't want to be in the way." Honda said quickly, putting his hands in his pocket. He started to walk out, waving over his shoulder, "I'll see you later, Jou."

"Later Honda." Jou called back, still tightly gripping Seto's hand. He frowned and thought aloud, "That's weird. He's acting all flaky." He shrugged, "All well. Let's go, okay?"

Seto nodded, his lips making the closest thing to a smile he's ever been able to do. The couple walked out of the arcade and into the city. The wind played with Seto hair as he looked up at the sun setting sky. He looked down the sidewalk Honda had taken back to his home, staring at the blur of people that was now traveling on it.

"Set-kun?" Jou asked, poking his head out of the car, "What's wrong?"

Shaking his head, Seto prepared to get into the car. He gave one last glance at the walkway before sitting in the driver's seat. He put the key into the ignition, "It's nothing."

x-x-x

Honda leaned over his porcelain sink; his knuckles turning white from gripping the edges so harshly. His breath raged and his skin was the color of sour milk.

"Hiroto? Are you alright in there?" his mother asked, knocking on the bathroom door with concern in her tired voice.

Honda blinked a couple times, water droplets sliding down his face and into the sink below. He locked eyes with his reflection and said, "Don't worry, Mom." He continued to stare at his tired mirror image. Sighing, he looked back down into the sink. He took a deep breath and said softly, "I'm fine."

"Are you sure? You don't sound so well." His mother replied, turning the doorknob, "Let me in. I want to see."

_No you don't. _Honda said, splashing some more cold water onto his face, "I'll be okay. Go to sleep. You have work in the morning." He wiped his face with the towel and continued to watch his reflected self.

Soft footsteps signaled his mother's departure. Slowly, Honda put the towel down into the sink and sighed, slapping himself across the face, _Wake up Hiroto!_ He said to himself.

Slowly, he sneered, seeing the red stinging his face. With a scowl, he said, "You're so ugly. No wonder he doesn't want you." He turned his chin up and examined his own face. Disgust made his eyes dull and his blood boil, "You're so… horrible. Look at you…" he rubbed his cheek, "that will probably bruise." He gave a short laugh, "Oh yea. That's a great way to win someone over… play the victim to a tragic life you don't even have. You're so low, Hiroto." He said this all quietly, just enough for himself to hear, "You're scum." He forced himself to not start screaming, wishing his parents weren't home so he could tear himself apart.

"Tomorrow's another day." Honda said bitterly, his body backing into the tiled wall, "I have to keep smiling tomorrow, the next day, next week…" Honda gripped his dark hair and slid down to the floor in a desperate attempt to make himself disappear, "Forever." He looked up at the crackled ceiling and took a few deep breaths.

He didn't remember when the whole thing had started. It had to be at least months ago, back at school. He would be there with Yugi and everybody, sitting in class, poking Jou in the head when he had fallen asleep. Though, class was never interesting and he would always let his eyes wander away from the blackboard. He would put his head down, expertly making it look like he had to look at the back of the room. He would smile to himself, seeing Seto Kaiba reading from whatever he was working on at the time. It always amused him to watch the young teen work on something new everyday. _Doesn't he ever have real fun?_ He would ask himself, seeing Seto get frustrated and scratch something out with his pen. He would sigh and roll his eyes before starting again. Honda would try his best not to laugh.

_School really is the breeding ground for young love._ Honda told himself, getting up off the bathroom floor. He sighed and made sure he looked unsuspicious to his mother before opening the door. He slumped to his room and collapsed onto his bed before he heard his door close behind him. Though, however many times the scenery changes, the subject on Honda's mind never seemed to shift. Seto Kaiba was embedded into him and Honda had no idea how to get him out.

"I wonder if he's still out with Jou right now." Honda said softly, turning on his side to peek at the clock on his dresser. It was only ten after nine. Seto and Jou were probably over at Seto's house by now. Honda swallowed hard. He knew his friend thought Seto was everything in life. "Of course he'd do it with him…it's _Seto Kaiba_."

Honda rolled over again; staring at the ceiling like it was his favorite thing to do in the world. He bit his lip; _I bet it's heavenly… _Honda thought,_ committing a sin like that with Kaiba. _Honda imagined the billionaire's room that he had yet to see. The place would be glowing with vanilla candles and the sheets would be black satin. _The perfect contrast._ Honda smiled. The two of them would have an endless connection at the lips, running their hands all over sweaty skin. It would be a desperate plead for each other's touch, moaning as a signal for "Give me more." Seto would look down at his prey. His eyes would be the blend of fire and winter; melting to let his lover see the truth of pure passion, but never loosing that shade of a clear lake.

Honda shook his head, hugging one of his pillows close to his body. He buried his head into the feathered bundle, wishing it would all go away. He didn't want to think about it. He wanted Seto to be his first. He wanted to be _Seto's_ first. Though, he knew it would never come true. By the way Jou keeps talking, Honda doubts he will ever be with Seto. Not even in a million years.

x-x-x

Chapter one of Ramune is complete. Don't worry, I promise not to just focus all my attention on this fic. There will be updates of everything else soon! So, tell me what you think of this. I don't see very many Honda fics out there, and I wanted to do something different without straying off to another anime or something. (Though I do like Final Fantasy VIII.) Thanks!


	2. Help Wanted

This fic isn't really getting the feedback I had hoped for. I hope it improves as the story progresses. Thanks for all the fans though. I appreciate it!

Chapter Two: Help Wanted

Honda couldn't get to sleep that night. He tossed and turned and even cried a little as the sun came up. _I've lost all hope to live normally._ He concluded somewhere around eight in the morning and rolled out of bed. He took a shower and he realized it was already ten. _How long did I shower for?_ He shrugged and grabbed his coat. Today was Sunday and every Sunday he and Jou would go out to the late brunch downtown. It was more for Jou's enjoyment than Honda's, but it was a tradition and the two haven't broken that tradition since Honda broke his wrist one summer when they were younger. He was easily forgiven.

The walk to Jou's was a bit more upbeat. It was almost as if the past twenty four hours hadn't even happened. Honda ran up the steps and knocked on the door like he always did. Once again, Shizuka opened the door. She blushed and smiled, "Hi Honda!"

The boy smiled, waving slightly, "Hey is your brother ready?"

Shizuka's smile fell, "Oh…He didn't come home last night."

Honda's world came crashing down. His smile quickly faded and his eyes were wide, "He spent the night at Kaiba's?"

"That's what I'm assuming." She replied casually, but her tone quickly changed when she saw her friend's surprise, "Are you alright?"

_No._ he thought, _Jou wouldn't…_ he quickly took it back. Of _course_ he would. Every last daydream, all of the sleepless nights where Honda imagined being as close to Kaiba as humanly possible vanished. Suddenly, Kaiba's eyes looked as cold as stone in Honda's eyes. _Traitor!_ Honda screamed inwardly with his fist clenching in his pocket. _How could you do it without me?_

His brain sloshed around in his head, nodding too quickly, "I'm fine…honest." He bit his lip and looked up at the roof above him. He sighed and looked back at Shizuka, "…Tell him to give me a call when he gets in?"

The girl nodded, offering a smile, "Sure. Are you sure you'll be okay?"

"Yea. I'm just a little freaked out. Jou and I never miss out on brunch together." Honda explained, not necessarily lying at the girl; he was only half fibbing.

"Oh. I'm sorry." Shizuka frowned, opening the door wider, "Do you want to have brunch with me? I can cook… at least Jou says I can." She gave Honda her warm smile.

Honda knew that if he rejected, he'd feel guilty. The girl came to visit her brother and he was out, dancing around with boyfriend. Honda felt sorry for Shizuka. She wasn't used to her brother being so careless towards her.

He nodded, "Sure, I'd like that." He stepped into the home, kicking off his shoes and peeling off his jacket, "Will your dad mind?"

"Father went out to work somewhere around six this morning. It's just me today." Shizuka said, scuttling off to the kitchen, "Do you like omelettes?" she asked, opening the refrigerator.

Honda nodded, entering the kitchen. He rolled up his sleeves and walked over to the sink to wash his hands, "Yea. I can help you with them if you'd like."

"They aren't that hard to do." Shizuka politely declined, pulling out a carton of eggs.

"Well, what else should we have for breakfast?" he said, spotting the carton of orange juice and pulling it out of the ice box immediately. All the walking he had done to get there had made him thirsty.

Shizuka shrugged, "You know where most of the food is, I'm sure. Surprise me." She smiled, grabbing a green pepper from a bundle on the counter and chopping it up quickly.

Honda watched her knife work with concern, "Be careful." He warned, grabbing some left over meat from the refrigerator.

"I will thanks."

The two cooked for a little under a half hour, laughing and chit chatting about the most meaningless things. Even Honda would admit he had enjoyed her company. This wasn't the first time the two had spent time together, but without Jou in the picture, it was different. Honda liked the change.

They ate together at the table, swelling with pride at their large food display. They said they're prayers and began eating, a smile on their faces. They had only just started when the door opened to reveal a rather radiant Jou.

Shizuka spoke first, missing the look of pure depression on Honda's face, "Hi Big Bro!" she said, offering him an empty bowl, "Are you hungry? Honda and I made brunch for ourselves."

Whatever Jou had been glowing about when he walked through the door seemed the dim away. He glanced over at his friend with apologetic eyes, "Aw Honda! I'm so sorry! I forgot all about it!"

Honda shrugged, "It's cool, Man." He looked down at his food, staring hard at a random onion. The room had suddenly gotten very stuffy.

Shizuka cleared her throat, standing from her seat, "Come eat with us, Jou. We've made enough for the three of us." She walked over to the cabinet and got extra silverware.

Jou nodded, sitting between Honda and his sister. He looked over at his best friend once more, "You sure it's cool? I'll make it up to you, I swear."

Another shrug and another spoonful of rice went into Honda's mouth, "Whatever."

Honestly, it wasn't "whatever". Honda felt like he was going to jump onto the other teen at any second. He wanted to scream, "Why? Why must you take this _one thing_ away from me!" but he couldn't. He wouldn't. Especially not with Shizuka calmly sitting across the table. He had to be in check of his emotions. He had to make sure he was perfectly normal. Otherwise, Chicken Little wouldn't be the only one screaming "the sky is falling!"

Shizuka cleared her throat again, taking a sip of milk, "So, how was Kaiba's, Jou?" she asked with such a naïve tone. Too bad she didn't know that was the _one_ thing Honda did _not_ want to converse about while they sat there.

Jou was shoveling egg in his mouth when he turned his attention to her. He beamed, "Only the best time _ever_!" Jou actually put down his fork for the discussion, "It was so much fun! Mokuba and I played Super Mega Monkey Roll IV until he passed out. Then, Seto took me out for a walk in the Kaiba estate yard. It's so pretty, Shizuka! He even had white Christmas lights decorating his garden. Then," Jou got a shine in his eyes, "he kissed me at the fountain and then we went back up to his room and…" he bit his lip, "it was so amazing."

Shizuka sat in awe, "Wow. How wonderful!"

"Oh it was!" Jou was so proud of his night of romance. He picked up his fork and continued to eat, "This morning, he had breakfast in bed for me and I had a pillow fight with Mokuba." He laughed along with his sister, "After that I just came home."

Honda remained silent, his lips pursed shut. He put down his chopsticks and stood from the table. Both siblings looked up at him in question. He put on a fake smile and said, "I'm just going to the bathroom, Guys. Geez!" he walked out of the kitchen and into the hallway.

"Tell me more about it, Jou!" Shizuka plead could be heard in the hallway.

Jou laughed, "Maybe when you're a little older, Sis."

Honda leaned against the hallway wall. He had to catch his breath. Why? Why couldn't Jou just shut up for five minutes? Why did he have to constantly ruin Honda's life over this _one thing_? Honda took another step, successfully getting into the bathroom. He closed the door behind him and turned the sink on, washing his face with cold water. It was his way of cleansing his desperate and miserable soul. He sighed and used the hand towel to wipe his face dry. Staring into the mirror, Honda let his thoughts wonder.

The smack he had given himself yesterday hadn't caused damage to his face. In fact, Honda looked the same. He looked normal. Nothing about him stood out. His hair and eyes were the dullest shade of brown and his skin was just an average Asian tone. If anything, his skin was a bit more olive than it should be. Nope, Hiroto Honda was nothing original. They could make figurines of him at a factory somewhere and it would only cost a quarter to make each one. Less.

_That company would go bankrupt._ Honda thought, laughing bitterly, _nobody would buy a boring thing like me._ He took a deep breath, walking back over to the door. _Relax. Just be yourself. If worse comes to worse…use the 'I got chores' excuse._

Ah, the "chores" excuse. It was something Honda used much too often since his best friend had run off with the gorgeous Seto Kaiba. He'd even use it on Yugi or Ryou if he was invited to hang out after school. He just could not take being with other people when he could only think about Jou being with Kaiba. It was a curse. It was an annoying, pain-staking curse that Honda didn't know the remedy of.

_Man... _Honda though, walking back into the kitchen to find Jou balancing a spoon on his nose for Shizuka's amusement, _nobody knows how much I just want to laugh along and grab a spoon too. _He sat back at the table and locked eyes with Shizuka. The girl's carefree smile had disappeared and a look of deep concern warmed her eyes. Honda shook his head as a signal for "Don't worry." She bought it and continued to laugh at her brother's antics.

Honda sighed, continuing to eat his now cold breakfast. He took two bites before pushing it away. Suddenly, he didn't think he was going to have the will to eat for a long time.

x-x-x

Christmas was less than two months away. Honda felt that it was time to be looking around for a way to buy his friends all gifts. He figured a job would be his best bet. That way, he'd have extra money to spend and who knows? It might distract him from thinking about the unfairness in his life.

He looked at small places first. There were bakeries and cafes that needed assistance at registers and waiters. Unfortunately, at least half the population of Domino had thought of the same thing and was piling into shops looking for a way to make money.

His mother helped him look through the newspaper, supporting her son in his attempt to becoming a working man. Before they went their separate ways for the day, they'd shift through the newspaper and point out things Honda could look into after school.

It was the end of October when Honda had gotten the call from his mother. It was Saturday and Jou was off to lunch with his godly boyfriend. Honda sat on his couch, reaching over his shoulder for the phone on the table, "Hello?"

"Hiroto! I found the best job for you!" his mother said on the other line with excitement in her voice, "Kirara-san was talking about it. It's very well paid and it's not that much work. I'm sure you'll love it!"

Honda beamed, shutting off the television, "That's great, Mom!" Things were finally looking up for the teenager.

She gave him the address and told him to be polite and careful. He said his thanks and hung up, grabbing his jacket. Honda walked down the street, looking down at the address on the paper. _I have to go to the business buildings uptown?_ Honda blinked. Did his mom expect him to work at a desk job?

_With my luck, they probably just need someone to make coffee. _Honda sighed, shoving his hands deep into his pockets. It was freezing outside. The news that morning had said it was supposed to snow sometimes later in the week. Honda wished it wouldn't. He hated snow.

It took Honda less than twenty minutes to get uptown. Soon, he was up to his elbows in businessmen and fancy foreign cars. He pulled the paper out of his pocket and read the address again, "Building number 246." Honda said to himself, looking at the buildings. He was standing in front of 238. _At least I'm not lost._ He laughed to himself.

He walked down the road, feeling uncomfortable by the fact he was the only one walking around in blue jeans. He looked at the numbers on the building, continuing his stride.

_240…242…244…_

Honda got to 246 and looked up at the tallest building on the street. He gasped, his eyes locked on the logo sitting high above next to the windows.

_Of all the buildings…_ he couldn't even voice his disappointment and utter shock. People bumped into him and cursed at his lack of movement, but Honda wouldn't look away.

He was staring at the logo of KaibaCorp.


	3. Black Cat

Thank you so much for all the feedback I've been getting. You guys are being so AWESOME! If you like what you read, feel free to tell your friends! lol I know...I'm being lame again.

SOOOOO...Okay, (ahem) who saw the end of chapter two coming? I mean, I wasn't going to have Honda work at Kaiba Corp at first, but then I said, "eh…why not?" Anyways, here's chapter three!

Chapter Three: Black Cat

"Can I help you, Sir?"

Honda blinked to find that he had walked into the building while he was mentally cursing himself for his bad luck. Now he was standing in front of the large front desk, staring at the blonde secretary that sat there.

She said impatiently, filing her nails, "Sir? If you have no business here, you have to get out."

Honda shook his head, _Might as well_. He put on a smile, "Hi, I'm Honda Hiroto. I'm here for the job you were offering."

The blonde rolled her eyes, picking up the phone. With pink press-on nails, she dialed a number Honda could care less about. She waited for the other line to pick up, "Hiroyuki? There's another deadbeat here for you." She hung up with a _clang_, pointing over her shoulder to a door, "Go through that door and the second room on the right is where your interview is."

Honda scowled openly at the girl, _I don't care who you are, nobody calls me a 'deadbeat'_. He sighed and walked through the door, sending a dark glare at the woman. She had turned her back and was gabbing noisily on her cell phone.

Honda knocked on the second door on the right, running a hand through his hair and fixing his shirt. _Maybe it'll be something easy. I wonder if I'll be able to see Kaiba if I get the job. _Honda shook his head. He seriously doubted it. There must have been a thousand people working in the Kaiba Corp. building. The odds of seeing the CEO of the place were slim to none.

"Come in." a calm voice said from the other side of the door.

With another deep breath, Honda opened the door. It was a fairly nice office. For the first floor, the man sitting at the desk had quite a view of the street. The man, while the subject was still in the air, was a person about mid thirties. He had square glasses and dark hair that was combed back neatly. He had on a suit and tie that looked very expensive. He sat in his leather chair with a smug smile on his lips and a gleam of confidence in his green eyes. If Honda didn't know any better, he'd say _this_ was the CEO of Kaiba Corp.

"Welcome to Kaiba Corp. I'm Hiroyuki Reita, head executive of employment." He stood from his desk and offered his hand out to Honda.

The teenager approached the man, shaking his hand, "Nice to meet you." He said politely, "Honda Hiroto."

Hiroyuki smiled, sitting back in his chair, "Please, take a seat." He folded his hands on the surface of his darkly stained desk, "Now, you were interested in our job offering?"

"Yes, my mom heard from a friend you were looking for somebody." Honda sat in a cushy chair. He relaxed at once.

"I see." Hiroyuki nodded, opening his laptop, "Well, we always have several job openings at Kaiba Corp. We're all always so busy." He smiled warmly at Honda, "Now, you'll need to fill this form out for me." With a couple clicks of his keyboard, the printer on the bookshelf released a paper. The man, very tall when he stood, put the paper on a clipboard and grabbed a pen. He handed them to Honda and said, "Take your time."

Honda nodded, answering the form's questions. They were the obvious inquiries; name, age, address. Honda finished in record time.

Hiroyuki, who had been working on his laptop, took the form and scanned it with his eyes, "So, you go to the same school as Mr. Kaiba?"

Another nod, "Yes, he's in my class."

"Do you two get along?" Hiroyuki asked suspiciously.

Honda thought it was best to answer honestly. He knew that this 'Hiroyuki' knew Kaiba wasn't the friendliest of folk, "We aren't buddies, if that's what you're asking. We don't wish the worst of each other though. At least, I don't." he laughed a little. _God, how I don't._

The men nodded, smiling politely at Honda's humor, "That's good to hear." He continued to scan through the form, "Well, Mr. Honda, I think you are more than qualified for the mail delivery job." He picked up a pen and began filling out the rest of the form.

Honda blinked, "Mail delivery?"

"Uh huh. It's a good job for a boy like you. Organization and you get plenty of exercise from running around the building." Hiroyuki said, standing from his desk, "I'll show you the way to your job and give you the run down." He opened the door.

_This could be better. _Honda said to himself as he followed Hiroyuki down the hallway. _Though it could also be worse._ He smiled; taking in the speech the older man gave him.

"Your boss; besides me and Mr. Kaiba of course, is Mitsumura. You'll report to him if you have any problems. Mitsumura will also give you orders everyday you come to work." Hiroyuki continued on, taking a left to a pair of large double doors. He opened the doors and Honda's eyes went wide.

It was a mailroom alright, but it was _extremely_ advanced. There were conveyor belts and computers and Honda could have sworn he saw a robot. Hiroyuki led him to a glass office and knocked on the door.

A young man, barely thirty, answered the door. He had blue eyes and a short black ponytail. He smiled, seeing Honda and Hiroyuki, "Reita! What a surprise." He said, stepping out of his office and shaking hands with the man. He spotted Honda and smiled just as brightly, "Is this your son, Reita?"

"You of all people know I'm not married…let alone have a son."

Honda bowed his head, keeping his respect in check, "I'm Honda Hiroto. Apparently, your new mail boy." He looked up and grinned.

Mitsumura beamed, "Oh good. Welcome to the Kaiba Corp mailing system. We're horribly under staff here, but you know that Mr. Kaiba is always looking for a way to improve it." He pointed over to a robot behind them. Clearing his throat, he walked back into his office, "Reita, I'll give Honda the tour." He smiled, "I'll see you at the meeting tomorrow?"

Hiroyuki nodded, waving at Honda, "Good luck, Mr. Honda." He strolled out the double doors and out of sight.

Honda swallowed hard, looking around the large room of papers and newsletters. _It's my job. _He looked back at Mitsumura and sighed, "Well, what do I do first?"

x-x-x

After Honda got the tour, his dress code regulations, and his work schedule for the next week, he was ready to get home and just sleep. Though, his best friend had other things in mind.

"Honda, come over tonight."

"What?" he groaned, having just felt the cushions of his couch. It was almost eight at night.

Jounouchi sounded as if his throat was a little tight, "I want to talk to you about something."

Honda was off the couch and in shoes in a second, "I'll be there in a couple minutes, Man. Hang in there." He tugged on his jacket, hung up the phone and was out the door in a flash.

_What happened? Was it Shizuka? Is she hurt?_ Hundreds of scenarios exploded through his mind until he got to the top of the stairs of Jou's apartment. That was when it hit him.

_He and Kaiba broke up._

Honda was torn. He knew his best friend was in so much pain, but he couldn't help but hide his grin as he knocked on the door. _Just act surprised._

Jou opened the door with the giant smile on lips, "Honda!" he grabbed the boy's arm and dragged him into the house, "Honda's here everybody!"

Looking around the room, Honda saw everybody he knew sitting in the living room. Yugi, Ryou, and even Malik were waving to him and saying their greetings. He nodded and waved back, still a little surprised, _a party? Jou, you scheming asshole._ Honda took off his jacket and went to walk over to his usual chair in the room. However, there was already somebody in it.

With blue eyes like a pair of clear oceans, Seto Kaiba looked up at Honda was his casual smirk, "I'm sorry, am I in your seat?"

Honda nodded dumbly. He was unable to process a full sentence as he stared at the majestic glory sitting in just a ratty old armchair. He bit his lip, wondering if he should just walk away and sit on the floor.

Seto was quicker, standing from the chair, he offered it to Honda. He never let that smirk leave his lips, "Here you go." He walked off to the kitchen, Jou in tow.

With flushed cheeks, Honda sat down. The chair felt slightly warm from Seto's turn. He sighed, feeling extremely comfortable. He looked back at his friends. The majority of them were either watching a movie or making out on the floor. Honda wondered if Yami no Bakura and Malik only came to their parties to see if they could freak everybody out.

However, right next to him, sitting comfortably on the couch, was Otogi. His bright green eyes stared deeply at Honda; as if he was talking through them.

"What?" Honda whispered harshly at Otogi. He couldn't handle being stared at. Especially by someone like Otogi; his eyes had the power to kill.

The dice master smirked. He whispered back, "You want to get out of here?" he pushed back a stray strand of his bangs.

"I don't think so." Honda said quietly. He wasn't all that surprised. Otogi's been after Honda for as long as anyone could remember.

Otogi's fingers walked up Honda's legs, stopping at about mid thigh, "_Hiroto,_" Otogi said smoothly, "you know Jou will kill you if he finds out."

_He's bluffing._ Honda said to himself, _Otogi doesn't know what he's talking about._ He shoved Otogi's hand away, glaring openly at the gamer, "You don't know what you're talking about."

A small chuckle, "Oh Honda, if only you knew how obvious it was." He leaned over, whispering lustfully in the other's ear, "_I know you want to bed the billionaire."_ Otogi's tongue lashed out, tracing the outer shell of Honda's ear.

Honda's eyes went wide. How could anyone possibly know? He had been so careful to not let his secret slip. He couldn't let anybody find out. There was too much at stake; _way_ too much. Honda looked over at Otogi, "You wouldn't tell, would you?"

"It will cost you…quite a lot, I might add." Otogi wiggled his eyebrows.

With a disgusted sigh, Honda shook his head, "It's not worth it. I came here to talk to Jou about something anyways. Not to see some movie and get harassed." He stood from his chair in time to hear the loud moan come from the kitchen. The whole room fell over in laughter. Honda was mortified.

Otogi smirked, standing from the couch, "Hiroto," He continued to whisper, wrapping his arms around the boy's waist from behind, "I have a feeling Jou's not going to be able to talk for a little while." He placed his fingers under Honda's chin, tilting his head so they could look eye to eye. Otogi was grinning like the Cheshire cat. He said, "Let's go, shall we?"

Honda nodded, feeling heavy with defeat. There was never a winning moment for the guy. Duel Monsters, gym class, even at life, Honda never won a damn thing. It was always somebody else.

_I'm just a damned loser._ Honda thought as he pulled on his coat. He didn't say goodbye to anyone. At the moment, his friends were distracted, and as Otogi interlaced fingers with his, Honda decided he was going to keep it that way.

x-x-x

Whoa, what an awesome chapter, huh? Well, at least the end was cool. I didn't like the beginning so much. The chapter name was 'black cat'. Anybody figure out why? Lol. Anyways, send a review over my way. Layter Days!


	4. Breaking Point

This fic is rated M, right? Well this chapter will have a preview of why…I think.

Chapter Four: Breaking Point

_The kitchen; of all the places for Seto to…_ Honda shook his head, sitting in the seat of Otogi's little sports car. He sighed, looking anywhere but at Otogi, _What have I gotten myself into?_ He held his head up with his hand; _I don't want to do this with Otogi. That's so how I didn't want it to happen!_

"I'm sure you'll enjoy yourself, Honda." Otogi said casually, but it seemed like the boy was reading the other's thoughts. He laughed a little through his nose as he turned into the driveway, "Just imagine _I'm_ Kaiba."

_You don't even fucking compare._ Honda scowled as he opened the door to the car. He slammed it shut behind him and waited for the gamer to lead him. _Not even close, Otogi_. He knew there was a lot at stake if Otogi was to tell his secret. If everybody found out he wanted to be with the CEO…Honda didn't even want to think about it.

The two walked into Otogi's apartment; one feeling calm and casual, the other feeling completely nuts. There was no trouble who was who.

Otogi slipped off his black jacket, throwing it onto a chair, "Come on in." he looked over his shoulder with a sly smile, "I'll get us some drinks."

_Oh Goody._ Honda rolled his eyes, removing his jacket and taking a deep breath.

Otogi quickly returned with two wine glasses filled with a sparkling champagne, "I'm sure you drink." He offered the glass to Honda, "Please, get _comfortable._"

_He says it like it's so simple._ Honda took the glass, choosing the armchair instead of the couch. _Now he can't touch me._ He smiled at his own genius.

However, the dice master had other ideas, "Oh." He said, sitting in Honda's lap, "I didn't know you would get _that_ comfortable." Otogi, clinked the other's wine glass and laughed a little through his nose, "Cheers, Babe." He took a sip.

Honda took a little sip, trying not to get too intoxicated. He wiggled underneath Otogi, trying to silently say, "Get off of me!" Though there was no such luck. He sighed and looked up at him with his almond brown eyes, "Otogi-"

"Oh please call me something more endearing. You pick." Otogi had yet to lose that smirk of his.

"_Otogi_," Honda said firmly, "if you plan to do something with me, can you speed it up a little bit?"

"Can't hold your want any longer, Babe? No problem." Otogi downed the last of his champagne and put the glass on the table. He took hold of Honda's glass and placed it beside his, "Here." He said and leaned down, firmly pressing his lips to Honda's.

The other boy's eyes went wide. He quickly pulled away, feeling as if he wanted to throw up all of his lunch…which wasn't very much, mind you.

Otogi laughed politely, "Did you want to do this somewhere else?" he tapped Honda's nose with his finger, "Come with me." He climbed off of his boy toy and grabbed his hand, "My room is way more _comfortable_." There was that word again. Honda sighed, feeling Otogi thread his fingers with his. He felt it was best to keep his shoes on. He never knew when he had the chance to run out of that house.

When the two got into the bedroom, Otogi pushed Honda down onto the bed, climbing on top of him like a hawk on a rodent. His eyes had that look too; the hunger or a predator. He licked his lips, leaning down to grab Honda's into a sweltering kiss of pure lust. He moaned, grabbing Honda's shoulders to somehow deepen the kiss more.

Hiroto's eyes went wide, not liking the situation he was in now. _Oh for the love of-_

Otogi had pulled away, standing at the foot of the bed topless. He still had the gleam of hunger in his eyes, "_Hiroto…_are you still feeling nervous?"

"I was _never_ nervous." Honda protested, sitting up in the bed, "I don't want to-"

"Don't ruin our evening of love, Hiroto." Otogi said, grabbing a pastel green bottle from the dresser. He walked back over to the bed and grabbed at Honda's shirt, "Take it off."

"What?" Honda said with his mouth slightly open in shock.

"I'm going to help you relax." Otogi leaned over and lit vanilla candles that sat in a stand beside the bed.

Honda sighed and, with heavy reluctance, lifted his shirt over his head. He felt a little embarrassed, but due to the lack of light in the room, Honda didn't feel as if he had to worry too much. Though, that didn't stop the faint blush that grazed his cheeks.

Otogi grinned, running a hand down Honda's bare chest, "Mmm you look a little thin, Hiroto." He licked his lips, kisses the other's neck, "Have you been loosing weight?"

"I don't know. Usually when people are thinner, it means they've lost weight." Honda rolled his eyes. He was dying to just get out of there.

"Anything negative you say, I will become temporarily deaf and won't be able to hear it." Otogi stated and opened the bottle, "Lay on your stomach."

Honda took a deep breath, obeying the orders and lying on the bed as instructed. He bit his lip. Being unable to see what Otogi was doing was making him nervous. There was silence and some slight shifting of the bed before Honda gasped. A cool lotion was being spread onto his back and massage into Honda's shoulders.

Otogi chuckled darkly, "Surprised you, did I?" he leaned down and kissed between Honda's shoulder blades, "Oh Hiroto, isn't this great? It's just you and me in the most romantic scene." He massaged Honda's back, using great skill to remove the knots from the stress Honda had been feeling.

Ironically enough, Honda was enjoying the massage. It was really just what he needed. All of his problems, all of his stress, was thrown into the wind and replaced with the burning pleasure he was receiving. Otogi or not, the man knew how to massage.

Honda didn't know if hours or less than a minute had passed. He felt dazed and tired from his busy day. _Don't fall asleep. Don't fall asleep._ He kept chanting in his head, but he knew that if this didn't stop, he was spending the night in Otogi's bed; something he _definitely_ didn't want to do.

It then just happened way too fast. Honda's eyes had shot open, feeling something slick slipping into his entrance, "Ah!" he cried out in pain. Honda tried to move, but Otogi had mistaken his back for a chair and was entering another finger into his virgin rear. He never remembered feeling Otogi slip the pants off his hips.

"STOP!" he croaked out, grinding his teeth together while Otogi stretched his walls.

Otogi began to scissor his fingers, smirking broadly, "I'm just helping you relax." He chuckled a little, "You're so tight. Are you a virgin? Or maybe you like the act of giving." He laughed at his own joke.

Honda was squirming around. He could get Otogi off of him. He let out a groan as yet another finger went into him. "This isn't what I wanted." He growled softly, smacking his forehead against the mattress in anger.

The dice master had heard, "What's wrong, _Hiroto?_" he asked, digging his fingers deeper, "It doesn't feel good?"

"No, it DOESN'T!" Honda yelled, using all of his strength to help himself up. He shoved Otogi off of his back and onto the floor. Re-buttoning his pants and grabbing his shirt, Honda made a run for it.

"Hiroto!" Otogi called out, following him down the hallway, "Stop! I'll tell everyone your secret!"

Honda stopped just as his hand grabbed the doorknob. He bit his lip. Was it really _worth_ it? He let go of the door, looking over his shoulder at the green eyed gamer.

Otogi smirked, "Come back to me and I promise not to punish you, Darling _Hiroto_."

He saw red, but Honda did as told; walking over to his master. He looked him dead in the eye and said strongly, _"Never_ call me 'Hiroto' again_."_ He lashed out, punching Otogi across the face. He returned to the door, throwing it open and running out. _Get the FUCK out of here!_ was all he could tell himself. It didn't even occur to him until he was under the covers of his own bed that night that he had just ruined the one thing he told himself to keep silent.

x-x-x

Short chapter, I know. It was only a page less than the last one, but Oh NO! Honda's secret is going to be leaked out! What's going to happen now? Find out in the next chapter of Ramune!


	5. Firefly

Chapter Five: Firefly

_Trembling fingers traced over the flesh with ginger and care. The lust that burned deep in Honda's body caused him to continue in exploring his lover; no matter how shy he was. He watched his fingertips brushing against the other's lips. He felt the moist, heated breath coming out in shallow puffs. A shiver went down from his kissed neck down to the hand placed on his lower back._

_He whispered Honda's name in an almost silent tone._

_Honda's eyes slipped close and he whispered, "Seto…"_

"Good morning Domino! It's Six AM. Do you know where _your_ coffee is? Come on down to…"

Honda's eyes snapped open as the radio from his alarm blared. With a groan he rolled over, shutting it off. _It was only a dream_. Honda sighed, closing his eyes again quickly. Maybe there was still a trace of his dream left underneath his eyelids. He got absolutely nothing. _Fuck_. He cursed, but sat up in his bed anyways.

"Hiroto," his mother said, knocking on his door, "are you awake?"

"Yea, Mom." He said with his voice a little hoarse from sleep, "Did you want me to do chores or something?"

The woman opened the door, seeing her son sit shirtless in his bed. Her eyebrows went up, "Hiroto, you don't look so well. Have you been eating properly?"

Honda looked down at himself. He _had_ gotten thinner and I guess those really _were_ his ribs trying to poke out of his body. He shrugged at his mother and replied, "Yea, I guess. I think I'm just growing up instead of out." He smiled warmly.

His mother let out a happy chuckle, "Oh you." She leaned over and kissed his forehead, "Well, you need to get up! Don't you have at eight today?"

"I almost forgot." Honda crawled out of bed and grabbed his work clothes from the chair he had set them on and smiled at his mom, "No need to worry, Mom. I got it all under control." He left her his room and walked off to the shower.

_No… no I really don't._

Honda closed and locked the bathroom door, seeing himself in the mirror once more. He scowled, just noticing how thin he had really gotten. He shook his head, "No, I'm eating…I'm perfectly fine." He suddenly laughed a little, removing the boxers he had slept in, "'Perfectly fine'… how so?" he turned on the water and stepped in, letting the warmth cover his cold form.

It's been a week since the night at Otogi's and Honda had cut himself completely off from his other friends. Luckily, Christmas break had started during that week and Honda's been able to use work as his excuse. Even Jou had called yesterday asking if he had done something stupid to make Honda ignore him. Honda had put on a smile, laughing at his blonde buddy that he was just worrying too much.

"Just where do you work, anyways?" Jou had been curious, asking the one thing nobody else had seemed to.

Honda shrugged, even though Jou couldn't see it over the phone, "Just a delivery boy. Nothing important." And with that, he said good-bye and hung up.

Otogi, apparently, had yet to say a word. If he had, Honda doubted he would have heard from Jou so lightly. For some reason, Honda thought a little bit better of Otogi for not blabbing. I mean, it takes some serious self control and serious respect for the other person to not run your mouth off to such a huge secret.

_I wonder if he really _does_ like me. _Honda mused, shutting off the shower water. He dried himself off and dressed. He refused to look into the mirror as he brushed his teeth and he assumed his hair looked fine. Fixing a button on his white dress shirt, he left the bathroom, ready to go to work.

Honda had a fairly simple "uniform". It was a white dress shirt, short sleeve or long, with black slacks. He liked it, feeling that he wasn't expected to be a stuffy businessman but he still blended with the scene.

He said goodbye to his mom and headed out the door, a jacket and scarf clinging to his body. December weather was frigid, but everyone was curious as to when it would finally snow. Honda shrugged when people would ask him, "I don't really like snow." He would say and the topic would immediately change.

It took twenty minutes for Honda to walk into the Kaiba Corp building with his cheeks wind burnt and his nose numb. He walked past the blonde secretary that called him a 'deadbeat' and went down the hallway to the mailroom. He passed a couple of his coworkers and waved, being polite as always. He hung up his jacket and scarf in his little locker and went off to his station.

"Delivery for Amou S. floor 24." Someone said, tossing Honda the box. He also gave three envelopes and two more boxes to him to add to his little cart.

There were negative comments coming from behind him. Honda turned around to see a girl his age with a rather large box. She was addressing a little group of workers with distress in her voice, "I'm sorry. Something came up at home and I have to leave for a while. Can someone _please_ deliver this to the top floor for me?"

"No way."

"No chance"

"I got my own crap to do."

"The top floor?" Honda's eyebrows rose. Visions of his blue eyed hunk came to mind. He stepped out, holding his hands out for the box, "I'll do it."

The girl beamed, "Thank you so much! It has to go there right away." She gave him the package and bowed, "Thank you!" she said and hurried off.

Honda smiled, adding the box to his cart. He hurried up the elevator and came out on the top floor of Kaiba Corp; the number Honda didn't know. It was just a massive hallway, ending with a desk and two double doors with a 'K' on them. He took a deep breathe, leaving his cart near the elevator and just taking the box up to the secretary behind the desk, "Umm hi." He said shyly, a little nervous about the owner to the 'K' coming out of his office at any time.

The secretary looked up at him with large rimmed glasses, "How may I help you?" she offered him a small smile.

He smiled back, clearing his throat, "I have this to deliver to Mr. Kaiba." He showed her the box.

The girl beamed, "Oh good! He was expecting a package today. I can take that for you."

Honda's heart sank a little. He had expected to go see the CEO himself. He nodded and handed the box to the girl with a sad smile, "Thanks."

"Hotaru." Honda's almost melted as he heard the smooth voice of his desire.

The secretary jumped a little as the intercom went off. She pressed the red button and said politely, "Yes Mr. Kaiba?"

"Did that package come for me yet?" he sounded blunt and somewhat tired.

The secretary, Hotaru, nodded, "Yes, Sir. The boy is delivering it right now."

"Good. You can just have him bring it in." he said and the intercom shut off.

Honda's heart did back flips while his stomach jumped into his throat. He was going to see Seto Kaiba? All alone? In his _office_?

Hotaru fixed her glasses, smiling at the boy in front of her, "I guess you can go on in." Honda nodded, a little too stunned to speak. He walked past her and put his hand on the door handle. He quickly drew back, as if the handle was on fire.

_Oh no! Kaiba's going to figure out I'm just a stupid delivery boy! How embarrassing! _Honda panicked, biting his lip. What was he going to do?

"Is there something wrong, Sir?"

Honda looked back at Hotaru and shook his head. Damnit, this was his _job_. He took a deep breath and opened the door, carefully stepping inside.

The office was fairly large, containing large, black leather or iron worked furniture. It looked contemporary and almost futuristic. Honda liked it immediately. He then looked up at the large, glass surfaced desk to find that it was almost de ja vu. Sitting in the plush leather chair was Seto Kaiba alright. Only, to see he was sitting like he always was at school; bent over a notebook of some sorts scratching out things in pen. Honda gasped when he tried to look at Kaiba's face. Surrounding his eyes were silver framed glasses.

Seto looked up to find Honda Hiroto standing in the middle of his office looking quite surprised. He raised an eyebrow and asked smoothly, "Yes?"

Honda blushed, bowing a little, "Sorry. I didn't mean to stare." He walked up to the desk, offering the box to Seto, "Your package."

Seto removed his glasses, taking the box, "Thanks." He said it with very little feeling. Placing the box aside he locked eyes with Honda, "I didn't know my company hired you."

If it was anymore possible, Honda's cheeks got even redder, "…I started last week."

"Oh. Well, do you like it here?" Seto asked, making small talk as he opened his package with a pocket knife from his pocket.

Honda blinked, never knowing he carried a knife with him, "Um yea. It's really nice here. My co-workers are friendly."

"Really now?" Seto lifted the software box out of the cardboard one and read the back, "That's odd. Usually people hate their jobs." He looked up at Honda with a gleam in his eyes and a smirk on his lips.

Honda almost melted again, "Right." He bit his lip, "Did you get the right package? I have to get back to work." He said softly, wishing he hadn't said that.

Something about Seto's eyes seemed to dim, "I think I have everything in order." He said, sitting up a bit straighter, "Thank you, Honda." He sounded like he meant it.

_He remembered my name_! Honda would have let out a girly squeal if he had been alone. He nodded and waved a little, "I'll see you around, Kaiba."

"_Mister_." Seto said, smirking broadly.

_D'oh!_ Honda blushed, "Right. Sorry, _Mr._ Kaiba." He bowed a little and opened the office door. He stepped out; glancing back to see Seto had put his glasses back on and was getting to work on the new software he received. Honda smiled genuinely for the first time in a long time. He realized, as he said goodbye to Hotaru and entered the elevator with his mail cart, that Seto never mentioned a word about Jou. Honda pushed the button and the doors began to close. He smiled broadly and leaned against the elevator's wall; clutching his heart,

_I love you, Seto Kaiba._

x-x-x

Aww! Yay! We saw some of Seto in that chapter! I know it wasn't a lot, but he was there! Anyways, this fic is really taking off and I'm very proud of it. You guys are all being very supportive and I love you! Tell me what you think of Chapter Five okay? See you later!


	6. Frost

Wow, I just keep coming out with these chapters, huh? Well, as you can tell, this is my favorite fic out of the other two and I want to keep going and make it the BEST FIC EVER! So, without further ado, CHAPTER SIX!

Chapter Six: Frost

Yugi hosted the yearly Christmas Eve's Eve party. The day before Christmas Eve, the gang would all meet together to have their own Christmas party. They could bring whoever they wanted and they could bring gifts.

Honda knocked on Yugi's door with a bag of presents and Shizuka. Jou had a date with Kaiba that same afternoon and they'd show up later that night. So, being the nice guy he was, Honda offered to take Shizuka to the party. Shizuka was more than happy to accept.

It was Ryou who opened the door and he greeted the two with a wide smile, "Oh! Hello." He invited them inside the warm home. "Honda and Shizuka are here everyone!" he called out to the group in the living room. He walked back into the party with Honda and Shizuka close behind him.

Everyone greeted the new people warmly; saying their usual "Merry Christmas". Honda was half at the party. His mind was set on looking for Seto. Though, as he scanned the room, he knew he and Jou had yet to arrive.

"Do you want a soda or something, Honda?" Shizuka offered, about ready to get her own.

Honda took a seat on the couch, "No thanks." He said, offering her a polite smile. She had nodded and smiled back, walking off to the kitchen where the snacks were kept.

The party was a little boring for Honda. If he wasn't opening presents from people, he watched the window that exposed people coming towards the front door. Honda waited patiently for Kaiba, his eyes barely leaving that window.

Yugi came by with a bowl of chips about an hour into the event. He offered them to Honda and smiled, "Do you want to play a video game or something, Honda? You look a little bored."

Honda pushed the bowl away, "Nah I'm good."

"You sure?"

"Yea, thanks." He bit his lip, watching the window out of the corner of his eye. He didn't even see Yugi leave.

It took another whole hour for Honda to see figures walking outside the window. One was tall and strolled somewhat quickly while the other clung desperately to the other's arm, already looking like he had a smile on his face. Honda jumped out of his seat, surprising a couple people. He went to the front door and took a deep breath, waiting for the knock. _Okay…be cool._

There was a quick knock, strong but not overly loud. Honda opened the door and smiled, "Merry Christmas." He said.

Seto Kaiba and Jounouchi Katsuya were standing there with two bags in tow. Jou hugged Honda, acting like he was king of the world while Seto only let the corner of his lips turn up. Honda didn't care; Seto was still absolutely beautiful.

The two entered the party, removing their jackets and scarves before stepping into the living room with their hands held tight. Honda watched from behind, hearing everyone notice they were in the doorway.

"Hey Guys!"

"Merry Christmas!"

"What took you guys?"

Jou laughed a little, "Seto was being grumpy and wouldn't leave his office."

Seto looked bemused, "You told me not to work through Christmas so I had to do it today. Don't point the finger at me when it took you the two hours to get ready. Procrastinator." He added with a smirk.

Jou's smile hadn't left his face, "Yea, but don't the presents look good? I wrapped them myself." He beamed with pride.

Honda could just imagine Seto rolling his eyes. He bit his lip and smoothed out his shirt. The feeling of someone's eyes on him made him shiver and he turned around, "Otogi." He said, knowing all too well.

The boy hadn't changed much. He still smirked at Honda, sipping his soda smoothly, "Don't you owe me an apology?"

Honda noticed there was still a little bruise from where he had hit him. He raised an eyebrow, "For giving you a well deserved punch? I don't think so." He glanced over as Seto walked into the living room and sat where Honda had been only several minutes before. _Son of a bitch!_

Otogi saw Honda's stare, "I haven't told anybody, Honda." He walked a little closer, grabbing Honda and running his tongue up his neck. He whispered in his ear, "Maybe I should tell everyone as a…_Christmas surprise_." He smirked, snaking a hand around Honda's waist.

"Get the fuck away from me, man." Honda said, shoving Otogi away from him, "I told you no and I meant it. It's not worth it to keep it a secret if I have to be your freaking sex slave. No way." He scowled, pure anger burning from his eyes, "There's millions of other people out there you can be with. Why me?"

He was surprised to find Otogi's usually sparkling eyes had dimmed and his soda went on the counter behind them. He stared down at the floor and took a deep breath before looking back at Honda, "I'm going to tell you a secret and, trust me, it'll make up for the Christmas present I didn't get you." He smiled a little bit.

Honda's nodded, waiting for whatever Otogi had to say. There was nothinghe could say that would change his mind about him; nothing in a million years.

Otogi took another deep breath, "I don't love you." He started.

Honda didn't understand, "Then why the hell are you trying so hard to get in my pants?"

"I love someone else…a lot." Otogi continued, "I can't have him though. I decided to be with you because I thought we had something in common and maybe…maybe we could have comfort in knowing that we weren't alone in the world. At least, that's how I looked at it."

The other boy's eyebrows went up. Was this the same Otogi that he had seen ten minutes later? The sexy, smooth, devious Otogi acting like a school girl on Valentine's Day? Honda was beyond surprised.

Swallowing hard, Otogi confessed, "I love Jou."

_It all makes sense now_, Honda thought. He needed to grip the kitchen table to stay standing. In about three seconds he knew he woud collaspe.He gasped, "No _way_." his jaw didn't close.

Otogi nodded slowly, "Pretty much since I met him." He looked up at Honda, "I figured, since you and Kaiba…you'd need somebody to take your frustrations out on and I thought I should be that person. It only seemed fitting."

Honda shook his head, "Then why the hell didn't you just say this earlier instead of trying to seduce me?"

"I didn't want to seem stupid. I thought if I just lead you on and pretended I loved you…it would be my own secret knowing that the only thing I wanted from you is comfort."

"So you were going to use me?" Honda's eyes narrowed.

"… Yes." Otogi admitted, but he added quickly, "Even though I _knew_ you didn't love me, I would have been okay with that."

"Wow." Honda said without thinking, shaking his head, "This is so fucked up."

"I'm sorry." The gamer held himself, "I didn't mean for you to get pissed at me and…when you hit me…" he shuddered, "I didn't…I'm sorry." He buried his face in his hands.

Eyes wide, Honda leaned over, holding his friend tight, "No, I'm sorry. I was being stupid."

"I tricked you!" Otogi said into Honda's shoulder, "I tricked you and I feel so dirty about it."

Biting his lip, the taller one took a deep sigh, "Otogi…if I believed what you were saying, went with you, and did what I know you want…it would ruin everything I have ever planned on doing with my life." Honda let go of Otogi enough to lift his chin up with his finger, "I'm a virgin." He said softly, moving the other's raven bangs out of their face, "I want to be with Kaiba so much, I'm willing to wait for him. Do you understand?" he felt like he was talking to a seven year old.

With a little sniffle, Otogi nodded, "Yes. I'm sorry." He fixed his shirt a little, "I should have known."

"You want to go back to the party?" Honda changed the subject, deciding it was best. Besides, he wanted his seat on the couch back.

The other boy nodded again, tugging a piece of his hair behind his ear, "I'm going to wash my face and I'll be back in." he slipped past Honda but not before planting a gentle kiss on his lips, "Merry Christmas." He smiled sadly before walking into the living room and down the hallway.

Honda sighed, turning around to see nobody had noticed Honda had left. He saw that Yami and Jou had started up the video games and Ryou was discussing something with Shizuka and his own yami…sort of. He sighed and looked over at Seto only to find out, he was looking right back at him.

"Um." Honda said, fidgeting a little bit as he noticed Seto's stare. He waved a little bit and blushed. Seto had smirked, nodding his head to say 'come over here'. Honda was shocked but did as he was asked, appearing in front of Seto not too long after.

Seto stood from the seat in the couch and said, "Maybe you should start labeling your seats with your name?" he crossed his arms and continued to smirk down at Honda.

The other boy looked away, "Maybe so."

Seto glanced to the front door, "Come with me." He said quietly, only so he would hear. He grabbed his jacket and opened the door. Honda's eyes went wide. What was the billionaire implying?

"Where are you going, Set-kun?" Jou asked, not looking away from the game. He was actually in the lead.

Seto's smirk faded, "… Just to get the other presents out of the car."Jou said, "Okay." and that was that. Seto glanced back over at Honda to see if the boy was coming.

Honda nodded, grabbing his jacket too, "I'm going to help." He said quickly, knowing that people were watching them now. He put his jacket on tightly, following Seto outside. He saw Otogi grin a little bit.

The two stood in front of the door, their breath coming out in little white puffs. Honda waited shyly, wondering what the other man was up to. He looked up as said quietly, "Yes?"

"How is work going?" Seto asked with his gaze on his car parked on the street.

_Of all the things to say!_ Honda sighed and shrugged, "It's going well."

"No complaints?"

"None." Honda shook his head.

"Not even your boss."

"I like my boss." Honda said a little too quickly. His eyes went a little wide. After Mitsumura and Hiroyuki, _Kaiba_ was his boss.

"All of them?" he asked with a little amusement in his tone.

Honda suddenly felt trapped. He blurted out, "If you wanted to know about work, you could have asked me inside, you know?" he suddenly gasped and looked away. What a stupid thing to say! Fear came over Honda. Did you just blow it?

Seto actually laughed a little bit, "You're smarter than Jou is sometimes." Finally, Seto had mentioned something about his boyfriend. Honda was less than amused. Though, the blue eyed boy cleared his throat andstood there for a couple minutes. He suddenlyspoke up, lookingout the street,"You want to take a ride?"

"Where?" Honda asked, again surprised by Seto's actions. _This man is so unpredictable._ His attraction was quickly growing by the minute.

"Anywhere." Seto shrugged, taking the keys out of his pocket.

Honda couldn't think of any place to be. He shook his head as the thoughts of finally seeing the Kaiba estate came floating into his mind. He bit his lip and said, "I don't know where to go."

"We could always go to my place. Mokuba's at a different party." Seto walked towards his car. He smirked back at Honda, "Only if you want to."

_Oh how I _want _to. _Honda almost melted onto the sidewalk. He suddenly peered back at the party through the window, "Wait, won't they notice we're gone?"

"Does it matter? I'll think of something." Seto jingled the keys in his hand, "Last chance."

It was now or never. Honda had to make a decision. Should he just bit his lip and go for it or should he chicken out and miss the one shot he ever had to being alone with Kaiba…let alone in his _house_. He took a deep breath, taking one last look at the party. Jou was deeply absorbed in the game. Apparently, he had vowed to beat Yami before the night was out. He put his hands into his pocket and walked up to Seto with the burning look of determination in his eyes.

Seto nodded, chuckling a little through his nose. He removed his scarf and placed it around the other's neck, "Merry Christmas, Honda." He said before climbing into his car and starting it up.

Honda blinked, looking down at the scarf. He had been too stunned to refuse. He blushed and opened his door to the car, climbing inside. He smiled and watched Yugi's house grow smaller and smaller through the rear view mirror as the car drive farther down the street.

_Merry Christmas, Seto._

x-x-x

I KNOW! CLIFFHANGER! I'M SORRY! Though, with the rate I've been updating, you'll find out what the hell happens next soon enough.

Otogi and Honda are friends now? When did this happen? All well. Ooh and Seto's bring Honda home. I wonder what will happen there. Well, I guess that's for no one to know and for me to figure out. Haha Honestly, I have really no idea. Later!


	7. Somewhere In Between

Chapter Seven: Somewhere in Between

Seto opened the front door to the Kaiba estate with a casual push of the door. He removed his jacket and walked into the foyer with his shoes still on.

Honda blinked, watching the other boy just stroll in. He looked around and stepped inside. _It's like a hotel._ He mused, keeping his shoes on too. The tiled foyer was very pretty looking and it was even decorated for Christmas.

"Make yourself at home." Seto said, running his fingers through his hair, "Would you like something to drink? Wine perhaps?"

The other boy was playing with the ends of his borrowed scarf, smiling slightly. He looked up at the billionaire with wide eyes, "Oh…umm no thanks." He blushed and followed Seto deeper into the mansion, "I like your place." Honda commented, looking at the dark wood and the artwork on the walls.

Seto shrugged, "I suppose. It serves its purpose." He walked into the kitchen and opened up a wine cabinet. He selected a random bottle and a glass, "Are you sure you don't want one? It's Christmas." He added with a smirk.

Honda shrugged. He took a seat at the breakfast bar, "Maybe just a little bit?" he smiled sheepishly.

"That's the spirit." Seto grabbed another glass and poured a decent amount into them. He put the bottle down and leaned on the other side of the counter. He lifted the glass and locked eyes with Honda, "Merry Christmas." He clinked his glass against Honda's in a toast.

Honda blushed, watching the eyes of the other boy's. They seemed focused on something besides Honda's eyes, but they were looking right at him with confidence and strength. He bit his lip and took a sip of his wine. It was surprisingly fruity, "This is really good."

"Best there is. Your boss, Reita, makes wine at his summer home. He gives me a bottle every year for my birthday." Seto took a delicate sip, putting the glass down to lick the taste off his slim lips.

Honda watched in severe fascination. He watched Seto's tongue expertly trace his lips with a little jealousy in his stomach. _Oh I hate you._ He mentally cursed. Clearing his throat, he looked out the window. It had gotten very dark with all the clouds in the sky. Suddenly, there was only one thing he seemed to want to ask.

"Don't you want to spend Christmas with Jou?"

The room had grown very still. There wasn't even the sounds of a maid cleaning nearby. Honda couldn't seem to remember how to breathe. The air had gotten so thick, he didn't he'd be able to breathe even if he _could_ get the hang of it. He took a long drink of his wine to get a hold of himself.

Seto's eyes darkened. He took another sip of wine and shrugged, "Don't _you_ want to spend Christmas with Jou?"

That was certaintly unexpected. Honda's eyes went wide, "What do you mean?"

The glass in Seto's hand had become empty. He put it next to the sink and sighed through his nose, "Nothing." he took the glass from Honda and placed it beside his own. He ran his fingers through his hair once again and began to walk out of the kitchen, "Follow me."

Honda had never wanted to do anything else. He was up on his feet and at Seto's side in a heartbeat. His cheek had gone a little pink when he realized how earnest he had acted.

Seto didn't think anything of it. He continued to stroll down the corridor and up the stairs to the second floor. Honda reached the top and blinked. The hallway was paneled with dark wood and a plush carpet lined the walk. He looked down either end and saw there was no end in sight. "You have a bigger house than I thought." he said mostly to himself.

The billionaire laughed through his nose, "Heh. I know." he opened the door only a couple steps from the top of the stairs, "I don't even use the other half of the place."

Honda was up to his ears in intimidation. He gulped and accepted Seto's invitation into the room that was opened up to them. He blinked when he realized he was in Seto's office. It was fairly plain and green. It had several bookshelves of dusted books and a square desk with nothing but a slim laptop sitting on the surface. Honda noticed the number of comic books and empty snack containers on the coffee table in front of the plush couch. He laughed a little, "Mokuba's or yours?" he smiled at his sudden wave of confidence. Something had scared away his shyness.

Taking a seat in his leather office chair, he opened his laptop, "Both actually." he bit his lip as he checked his stocks, "Sorry for boring you. This will only take me a minute." he slipped his glasses out of his pocket and placed them on his ears.

The other teen shoved his hands in his pockets and waited, "I understand." his eyes wandered over to the bookshelves, "Do you even read these?" he wandered over and read some of the titles. Besides selves of Computer and Business manuals, there were books of fantasy all over the place.

"Do you ever see me with one?" Seto answered without looking up from the screen.

Honda looked over his shoulder and frowned, "Not with these."

"Yes, well, carrying books of different history makes you look smarter, don't you think? Burying your head into fantasy novels only make you forget reality." Seto closed his laptop and the room became as dark as the sky outside.

The other boy's eyes went a bit wide, "...Is there a light switch around?"

Seto snapped his fingers and the room faintly glowed from a lamp in the corner. Honda could barely make out the other man's beauty. "Light switches are for people who don't believe in convience." he smirked and threaded his fingers under his chin, "So, what would you like to do?"

"Um..." Honda chewed the inside of his cheek. What was there to do in the home of Seto Kaiba? He blushed at the perverse idea of seeing his bedroom. He shook his head and shrugged, "Well, you seem to have a better idea on things to do than I do."

"Hmm so true." Seto stood from the chair and removed his glasses. He turned and stared out of the window that made up to wall behind him. There was a blissful silence and suddenly, "Do you see that bottle of Ramune on the table in front of you?"

With his almond eyes, Honda glanced over at the coffee table. There it was. The bottle of soda was standing ever so slyly on the surface. He stared back at the other boy, "What about it?"

"I think Ramune is the perfect example of reality." Seto looked over his shoulder. There was gleam in his eye that Honda could see from miles away; lights dimmed or not.

Seto tucked his glasses back into his pocket, "That marble is choice." he walked passed Honda and held the bottle in his hand. He smiled as he unwrapped the top and said softly, "When one has to make a choice, their decision comes with consequences. They can either be good..." he held the plastic opener in his hand, "...or bad."

The boy wasn't speaking English to Honda. What was he trying to get at? Good or bad choices...so? He had his brow knit, waiting for the catch.

He continued to speak in his quiet volume, as though if he spoke any louder, someone would pop out from the shadows. He said, "In your dream world, any choice you make is safe, because you can easily change it or be able to arrange it in your favor." Seto pushed the marble from the top of the bottle into the fizzy soda. The marble made a "clink" as it rested in the cradle in the neck of the bottle. Seto grinned, "See? It's a safety net, letting people think that no matter what, they will always be safe."

Honda watched in pure fascination as the other boy placed the plastic opener back into the hole where the marble had just sat. Without warning, Seto's hand came crashing down, the bottom of the bottle hitting against the coffee table hard. Honda expected it to crack or shatter, but the bottle remained in tack. Only, he noticed, the marble was now resting at the bottom; fallen from its cradle.

Seto left the bottle there, looking at Honda with his sharp eyes, "Nobody is safe in reality. If you fuck up, prepare for the consquences." his face was completely expressionless; showing the seriousness in his words.

Almond eyes went wide, turning their attention from the bottle to the billionaire. Immediantly, it all made sense. _He is so wise._ Honda's mouth stayed open a little, still shocked by the performance he had single handedly watched. He had nothing to say. What _could_ he say? He suddenly felt very small.

The distance between Seto and he shortened, and a strong hand held Honda's jaw tight, "Hiroto..." he said in the same softness as before.

Honda blushed. There was no lust, but only...music. Whenever someone else said Hiroto, it had never sounded to pure, so clear. Suddenly, the back of Honda's mind starting screaming. _What is going on?_

"Hiroto..." Seto repeated just as perfect. He leaned in, their noses centimeters away, "I think I'm prepared to make a choice."

"W-What could that be?" Honda asked with nothing but innocence in his tone. It would be too good to be true if he assumed Seto wanted anything to do with him. _Jou_. Honda reminded himself. _It's all because of Jou..._

A small chuckle came from deep in Seto's throat, "I-"

A sudden ringing caused them both to jump, they're breath hitched in their throats. It took another ring for Seto to finally realize what was going on. He cursed, letting go of Honda and pulling out the cell phone that rested in his other pocket. He unflipped it and said, obviously vexed beyond belief, "What?" after a short silence on his part, he suddenly changed his voice, "Oh, it's you, Darling." he didn't even dare to glance at Honda, "What? Oh. Well, Mokuba called me and needed me to drop something off at his party. Honda? Who is- oh, yes, your friend is with me."

Honda hung his head, his cheeks blazing red. Of course, it was Jou checking up on his sweetheart. He suddenly felt embarrassed. '_Your friend?' _The boy _knew_ he shouldn't have hoped too high.

Seto had sighed through his nose and nodded again, "Yes, we're on the way back already. You worry too much." he turned his back on Honda, crossing his arm over the other, "...I love you too."

A pain went through Honda like a knife. What else could Seto possibly say in those five minutes that could make him feel any worse than he did right at that moment?

He hid his hurt when Seto turned back around, the phone already put away. Seto decided to act like nothing had happened at all that night, "We need to head back now."

_Don't need to tell me twice._ Honda said, already walking towards the door. He had his hand on the knob when he looked over his shoulder. _Now or never_. He took a deep breath and said a little quieter than he had wished to.

"Kaiba?"

Seto perked up, locking eyes with the other boy, "What is it?"

Seeing the color of a moonlit lake made Honda change his mind. He couldn't, he _wouldn't_. He gave up and shook his head, "Nevermind." he bit his lip and opened the door, looking over at the abandoned Ramune bottle on the table. He sighed and walked into the hallway.

_"When one has to make a choice, their decision comes with consequences..."_

Honda followed Seto back down the stairs and into the car. He rested the side of his head against the cool glass of the window. He sighed so hard, his shoulders heaved and a cloud of breath appeared beside him on the window. They pulled out of the driveway and into the road before Honda thought, _"Until I know what kind of consequences will come of this, I think I'll stay comfortable in my cradle." _he clutched the scarf that Seto had yet to ask for and smiled, _"Reality isn't ready for me just yet."_

x-x-x

Yay! I finally updated! I'm sorry it's taken so long! School is a drag. XP Leave me your precious reviews so I can work harder to get these out! It's finally starting to get good if you ask me. XD PEACE!


	8. Holly and the Ivy

Chapter Eight: Holly and the Ivy

Honda let Seto drive him back to the party without a word exchanged between the two of them. The last thing Honda wanted was for him to blurt something out that would spoil not only Christmas, but the rest of his life. Though, the boy couldn't help but wonder, _what the hell happened back there?_

They stood on the front porch; Seto behind Honda. Honda didn't make a move to open the door. He just wanted to stand there for a minute to collect himself. He didn't want to walk in and break down. He took a couple deep breaths, not realizing that the only reason he was stressed out was right behind him.

"Are you going to be okay?" Seto's voice broke through Honda. The other boy spun around, finally remembering Seto's presence. He bit his lip and nodded; "I'm fine." he turned around, mentally cursing himself. Quickly, he opened the door.

The group of party-goers re-welcomed them as they strolled in. Honda removed his shoes and jacket, but left the scarf on simply because he forgot it was there. He sat down in his zone on the couch and sighed. Yugi, who was sitting beside him blinked, "Isn't that Kaiba's scarf, Honda?"

The other boy blinked as well, looking down, "Oh. I guess it is. Whoops." he took it off and folded it up into his lap. He didn't get up to put it with Seto's belongings; _I don't want to let it go._ He admitted to himself. He glanced over to see Jou was clinging to his love with a giant smile. Honda sneered but quickly turned his attention to Shizuka and Ryou.

Though, no matter how many times he changed the view, the voices still came in.

"What took you so long, Set-kun? I was worried you got in an accident or something. Was Mokuba okay?"

A couple moments of silence later, Seto answered, "Everything's fine. It wasn't a problem. Stop making such a fuss, Precious." Seto leaned down and planted a kiss on Jou's cheek. That quickly made the blonde become silent.

It was then that Yugi stepped forward with a smile, "Hey everyone! Since everybody's finally here, do you want to open presents?"

The group cheered and made their way over to the tree that seemed to be laying presents like a chicken does with eggs. Honda remained in seat, biting his lip hard. _Presents...oh no._

He had bought presents. After all, that was the reason he had _gotten_ a job. They were all piled up in the farthest corner of the tree display. Though, the most precious and the most special present was sitting inside the branches of the tree; too small to be put with the others.

_I don't want him to open it in front of everyone!_ Honda cried out in panic within his mind. He watched everyone get their first present to open. Ryou, with a gentle smile, handed Honda the present he had gotten him. Honda, in exchange, pointed out the gift he had gotten for the other boy under the tree.

Several minutes later, the group was trying on new hats or playing with new toys. Yami no Yugi was sitting in a large armchair rebuilding his deck with some of the new cards he was given. Honda noticed when he could see through the crowd that Seto was standing by the fireplace fiddling with the only present Honda had never seen under the tree before.

Otogi sat in Honda's lap a moment later, planting a kiss on his lips, "Merry Christmas Sweetie." he winked and quickly got up before he was smacked. Honda laughed a little once he noticed the drunken sway in Otogi's steps. Honda glanced back over at Seto to see that Jou was standing in front of him, sporting a new pair of puppy ears.

"They suit you." Honda heard Seto say over the other guests' conversations.

Jou laughed a little, "Yea, I guess so." he noticed Seto was trying to put the small box he was holding before into his pocket. Jou blinked, "I didn't wrap that. Did someone give that to you, Set-kun?"

Honda had never seen such panic flash through Seto's eyes before. The tall billionaire took a couple minutes to reply, "Erm no. It was nothing." he placed a kiss on Jou's forehead, "Excuse me, Precious." he said and disappeared down the hallway. Jou's smile faded ever so slightly, but it soon reappeared when Malik appeared with a present wrapped in sand colored wrapping paper.

"Did all the presents get sent out?" Yugi asked a little while later. He asked his yami to look near the top of the tree for presents that might have been tucked away.

"There's one right there." Shizuka said, pointing at the blue box near the middle of the tree. Honda's fears had come to pay him a visit as Shizuka read the tag, "Oh. This is for Kaiba."

Everyone's eyes were on the boy who had just walked back in. He looked a little surprised at first, but his expression quickly subdued. He cleared his throat and took the box. "Thanks." he said quickly and unwrapped the little box with everyone's gaze still on him. Inside the box was another box only slightly smaller and square. Seto didn't utter a word and Honda didn't let himself breath.

The smaller box was opened gently by Seto's usually firm hands and inside was the present Honda had wished he never had the courage to buy. On a long chain was a silver dragon charm. The dragon itself coiled around a sphere of sapphire. The group was in awe as Seto let it dangle out of the box for everyone to see.

"Oh it's so pretty, Kaiba!" Ryou gasped, "Who is it from?"

Seto shrugged; putting the necklace on, "It didn't say." he looked down at the necklace before looking up, staring straight into Honda's eyes.

Honda looked back in shock, _He's lying...I wrote my name on the tag._ He nodded at Seto, but his face became emotionless. He had no idea how to react to such a thing.

_What game is he playing?_

x-x-x

"Shizuka and I are going to celebrate Christmas with my dad. I promised not to spend the day with Seto." Jou informed Honda as everyone was grabbing their jackets to leave.

Honda nodded, gripping tightly to Seto's scarf inside his jacket pocket, "Oh. That's cool, Man."

"Yea! You should totally come over. We haven't spent time together in foreva, Dude." Jou's carefree smile lit up Honda's heart ever so slightly. To be honest, he did miss the blonde very much. "It wouldn't hurt..." he started to say.

"Sweet!" Jou rose his hand up and high-fived his best friend.

"I'll make sure to pick up extra munchies." Shizuka said with a small sigh, "You guys together always pig out." she smiled at Honda was a twinkle in her eye, "Thank you very much for the notebook, Honda. It was very thoughtful."

Honda beamed, liking the pink journal he had given Shizuka as well, "I'm glad." he waved at the two siblings and turned to the door, "I'll see you two Christmas afternoon." He walked out, zipping up his coat. It was so cold, puffs of steam danced out from his lips. _Yet no snow._ he silently mused.

He walked down the driveway, avoiding patches of ice that were left for the sake of them being there. From habit, his hands went into his pocket and the soft material of Seto's scarf tickled his fingers. He pulled it out, holding it with a blank stare. _Should I go back and return it?_ He bit his lip. Parting with such a thing would make his heart sink possibly lower.

_I've got to._ in the process of turning around, a patch of ice crept up from behind him and he felt his feet slip from under him. Feeling his rear hit the sidewalk, he gasped in pain and from the coldness of the ground. He cursed, standing quickly back up. Nobody was watching. At least he didn't think so. He checked his body for any cuts and then he realized _The scarf!_ His eyes went wide, panic in his eyes. He searched the ground, looking for his beloved gift. He turned around and was surprised to see Seto Kaiba was looming over him; scarf in hand.

"Seto!" Honda gasped, his breath taken from him once more.

"Since when have you called me that? I thought we agreed on _Mister Kaiba." _The taller boy smirked. Honda locked his knees or else he'd be on his butt again.

"I… a… I was going to return the scarf." Honda said, looking away from the other's eyes. Why couldn't tonight just be over?

Seto put on a little mock surprise, "Returning it?" he sounded a little sincere, "You didn't like it?"

Almond eyes went, if possible, wider, "What? No! It wasn't that. I umm…" he bit his lip. _How was I getting out of this one?_ He asked himself.

"Set-kun! We'd better go or Mokuba's going to get worried!" Jou called from the car. He waved at Honda and smiled before the window to the car slid back shut.

Seto looked down at Honda and wrapped the scarf around his neck. He tapped Honda on the head like a pet and chuckled slightly, "Merry Christmas, Honda." He shoved his hands in his pockets and strolled away. He never looked back.

Honda was beside himself. He didn't know what to say. He watched Seto slip into his car with his mouth dropped open. It wasn't until Ryou came up from behind him that caused Honda to look away. "Oh. Hey there, Ryou. I didn't see you."

"I noticed." Ryou replied with his gentle smile never leaving his lips, "Honda…are you doing anything tonight?" he held his mittens in his hands tightly.

Honda's eyebrow raised, "Umm no. Why?"

"Well, Yami's going to the Ishtar's for the evening and I was just wondering if you wouldn't mind keeping me company. I can understand if you have plans with your family or something." Ryou didn't look Honda in the eye as he spoke. Maybe it was the cold that was making his cheeks turn such a cute shade of pink?

Honda shrugged, "I don't see why not. Let me use Yugi's phone and I'll tell my folks. Come on." He ushered Ryou back into the game shop. _Anything to get my mind off of this. _He didn't bother removing his jacket but he slipped the scarf into his pocket before he found Yugi. The last thing he needed was another interrogation from him.

x-x-x

Ryou's house was always pleasant for Honda to visit. It always seemed slightly feminine, but he always thought it was because Ryou was hiding his yami's presence from the rest of the world. Nevertheless, it was always clean and smelt of fresh flowers or vanilla.

"Don't be shy. Make yourself at home. I still had your bed clothes in the bottom drawer of my dresser from the last time you slept over. I washed them for you." Ryou said as he unlocked the door and swung it open with a gentle push.

"Thanks." Honda said. He walked up the stairs and changed into the T-shirt and flannel pants he had missed. He came back down, entering the living room.

"Feel free to pick out a movie. I'm afraid there isn't much else to do here, but you know that." Ryou called from the kitchen. Some how, the louder his voice got, the calmer it sounded.

Honda sifted through the many films Ryou had in his collection. The boy was quite the movie watcher. He selected a title or two and decided to ask Ryou which one he wanted to compromise with. He grabbed the remote and set the room up for them to watch.

Ryou showed up shortly after, a tray of cocoa mugs and a plate of Christmas cookies was in his hands. He had somehow changed into a large sweater and shorts as well. He set it down on the ottoman and took a seat on the couch.

"Pick a movie from the ones on the table." Honda said, taking his cocoa, "Cookies? Awesome." He took one and smiled.

Ryou grinned, taking the movie he wanted and popping it into the machine. He replied, "Don't get too excited. They're store bought. Yami won't eat them because he says he doesn't trust anything I don't make." He sat beside Honda on the couch and snuggled underneath the blankets they were sharing, "I'm so glad you came over, Honda. I was worried I'd be spending the holiday alone." He rested his head on Honda's shoulder.

Honda wasn't really surprised by Ryou's affection. The boy and he had become friends and used to see each other a lot. There was once a point in time where Honda had considered being with Ryou if he had not realized his longing for Seto. He didn't feel it was fair to treat Ryou as if he was second best and left the other boy alone for a while. Ever since then, they rarely got together but never stopped talking to each other.

They were about as close and he and Jou. Jou was his wild friend that went to arcades and jumped the other school's football team before a big game. Ryou was different. He and Honda would usually stay in and talk or even cook together if it was close enough to his yami's dinner time. Honda never complained. He liked the balance.

"It was no problem." Honda replied to Ryou, wrapped a strong arm around Ryou's shoulders. The sweater was soft underneath his skin and the boy's shoulders were slimmer than Honda had remembered. _It's like holding a woman._ Honda used to tease to himself. He knew that any talk like that would upset his friend. He always had to hear it from people at school. He didn't need it from Honda.

"I've missed you so much." Ryou confessed, watching the television, but not seeing the movie.

Honda felt the other boy tense up in his arms. He looked down and saw that it wasn't the cold after all that was causing the pink on those pale cheeks, "Ryou?"

"Honda…I…I miss being with you a lot." Ryou kept saying, clutching tightly to the bottom of his sweater underneath the blanket, "I always think about you and I always hoped that you and I would become something other than friends. Honda…" he looked up at the other boy with his large eyes rimmed with tears, "Honda, I think I'm in love with you."

x-x-x

Does EVERYONE have a crush on Honda? I guess so. Haha. Well, I suppose we'll find out what happens soon huh? I'm sorry I haven't been updating often, but I do have a couple days off from school coming up so I'll probably post a new one soon enough. Love you and your reviews! -Rain


	9. Sweet and Tart

Chapter Nine: Sweet and Tart

_I'm so ugly._ Honda thought, thinking about the times he had stared in the mirror. That disgusting, disgraceful boy was the farthest thing from manhood; let alone beauty.

_Why would anyone fall in love with me?_

Ryou remained in his spot on the couch. His body was trembling from head to toe. _How did he get the courage to confess something like that to me?_ Honda asked himself. Seto Kaiba's eyes suddenly glared at Honda with the blazing blue they were. Honda couldn't, he wouldn't, dare to tell Seto the truth of his love. So, how did Ryou? How did the boy who was scared of his own shadow admit to such a thing?

"I'm sorry." Ryou said softly, "I probably sound ridiculous." He hid his eyes behind his bangs.

Honda shook his head, "No, Ryou." He pulled the smaller boy into his arms, "I'm the one whose sorry." He kissed the other boy's forehead, "I can't love you back."

Ryou nodded with a sad smile on his lips. He looked up at Honda and said, "I understand." He felt the familiar feeling of tears in his eyes. He hid it well as he stood from the couch. He raised his arms above his head and stretched his body out.

It didn't matter if Honda was in love with him or not, he couldn't ignore the marvels of his friend. He smiled and said, "Ryou, you're amazing." He shut off the movie and stood from the couch as well, brushing cookie crumbs off of his pants.

Ryou's cheeks flushed as he put his arms down, "What do you mean by that?"

Honda shook his head, "Nothing." He smiled, "Let's just go to sleep." He offered his hand.

That sadness returned onto Ryou's lips. He took the boy's hand and nodded, "Yes, I suppose it's a little late."

They journeyed up the stairs and into Ryou's bedroom. Honda shut the door while Ryou pulled back the sheets.

"Will you need another blanket?" Ryou asked a little too calmly. It was as if the past ten minutes hadn't even happened.

Honda slipped under the covers, "No, I'm fine." He grinned, "Are you planning to sleep in a sweater?"

"I was going to change." Ryou said, sticking out his tongue to tease.

Honda rested his head behind his threaded hands. He sat up in the pillows and watched as Ryou removed the thick sweater. He couldn't help but chuckle as Ryou modestly hid himself as he grabbed a T-shirt from the drawer. "There's no reason to be shy, Ryou."

"That's easy for you to say." Ryou shot back; sitting on the bed, "You're…" he bit his lip, blushing pinker than ever before, "forget it."

Honda smiled, pulling Ryou into his lap, "Come here." He ran a hand down his friend's chest and torso, "See? You're perfectly fine the way you are." He kissed Ryou where his heart would be, "Especially right here."

The smaller boy trembled again. He wrapped his arms around himself and shook his head, "Stop it." he said firmly, before taking the shirt and tugging it on. He didn't sound angry, but he knew that they were going down a path he didn't want to explore.

"Ryou…" Honda frowned, realizing he had hurt his feelings, "I'm sorry."

"I know." Ryou nodded, burying his body under the blankets. He shut the lamp beside him off and said softly, "Good night, Honda." He curled up and turned his back on the one he loved.

Honda stayed sitting up, staring at Ryou's back for the longest time. He was searching for something; except, he didn't really know what he was looking for. It was as if his mind had suddenly gone out for a coffee break and was waiting for the doughnuts to be restocked. He didn't know if he could explain it in words how he suddenly felt. All he knew was that a little part of him had died tonight and he didn't think it would ever revive itself.

Sighing, he laid down on his back, replacing his head on top of his threaded hands. He looked up at the ceiling and said back, "Good night, Ryou."

x-x-x

_The corridor was longer than Honda had remembered. The plush carpet that lined the way cushioned his feet as he continued to travel. He found himself in front of the same dark stained doors. With cautious hands, he pushed the doors open._

_Seto Kaiba was smirking at Honda from his desk. The silver rimmed glasses rested on his nose while his strong hands supported his chin. He only continued to smirk as he slipped the glasses off and into his pocket, "What can I do for you, Hiroto?" he said the name with the same melody Honda had now fallen in love with. _

_"Seto…" Honda whispered softly. He couldn't control himself any longer. He was going to burst. He climbed onto Seto's desk, pushing away all of the papers. He grabbed the taller boy by each side of his jacket collar and smashed their lips together._

_Seto didn't object. He parted the opening of Honda's lips with his tongue and eagerly traveled inside. Honda played along, running his hands through the chestnut hair that he had fawned over for so long._

_A dull thud had caused them to break apart. Honda whipped his head around, his hands still buried in Seto's hair. It was Jou; his knees had become weak and caused him to fall onto the floor._

_"H-Honda?" Jou questioned. He couldn't be seeing what he was. He couldn't be sure of the sight before him. Nothing could be so hideous and untrue._

_"Jou!" Honda said, standing, "Please don't-"_

_"No, _you_ don't!" Jou snapped with fury in his heart and showed through his eyes. He shook his head, "How could you, Honda?" he shouted, his body shaking in rage, "I TRUSTED YOU!"_

Honda snapped his eyes open; he jumped out of bed and into Ryou's bathroom. _No. No! I'm sorry! I'm _sorry! _I didn't mean to!_ He shut the door to the bathroom quickly and held himself above the sink. His breath had become ragged and a cool sweat layered over his body. He couldn't handle it and leaned over, vomiting into the toilet.

_I can't let that happen._ Honda said, now on his knees in front of the toilet. He continued to breathe as if he was being strangled. _I _won't_ let that happen._ He stood back up, staggering slightly. He stared into the mirror and scowled at his reflection. Had he gotten even thinner? He made himself sick just by looking at himself. He fell down to his knees once more, facing the toilet as he let it go again.

Deep down, he knew this wasn't going to be the first time he was going to end up like this.

x-x-x

Honda didn't take long in the bathroom after that. He brushed his teeth and splashed a large amount of water onto his face. He made sure his skin had returned to its normal color and left the small room. The hallway was still dark even though the window in the bathroom had the early morning light shining through it. Honda blamed it on the yami. He hated light in the house.

Ryou was still in his dreams when Honda had returned. The other boy closed to door behind him and watched for awhile with his back pressed against the wood. He was guarding the door, making sure nobody could come in and disrupt the beauty that had blessed the room.

_I promised never to let anyone hurt you,_ Honda smiled sadly. He sighed and climbed back into bed, _but nobody could protect me from the pain I give you._ He watched Ryou's face smooth over with sleep. There was a certain peace that Honda could never express as he watched the winter morning make the room glow through the white blinds that shaded Ryou's windows. He played with the silver tips of his hair and glided it over the olive of his own cheek. His best friend was nothing more than a Christmas angel; a perfect, glowing, snowy white angel.

_The only snow _I'll_ put up with._ Honda laughed a little through his nose.

It didn't take long for the fluttering of Ryou's eyelashes to occur. The usually wide brown eyes were half lidded as he smiled at his friend, "Mm Happy Christmas Eve." He yawned a little, covering his mouth in politeness.

Honda smiled, kissing Ryou's forehead, "Same to you." He said softly as to not disturb Ryou's waking up, "Did I wake you?"

"No, I'm normally up this early." Ryou said with a sleepy tone. He didn't sit up yet, enjoying the sight of his adoration. It was better than hot tea. "Yami's always begging for breakfast at this hour."

"Oh." Honda propped himself up with an elbow, "Well, I need to leave for Jou's in a couple hours. You want me to make you breakfast?"

Ryou smiled as he yawned again, "Two eggs and an English muffin with strawberry jam, please? If we've run out of strawberry, grape would be excellent."

Honda tapped Ryou's nose, "You got it. Do you want some tea before that?" he slid out of bed, already used to the chill that greeted him outside of the blankets.

"Green would be lovely, thanks." Ryou replied as he waved lazily at Honda, "Wake me when it's ready." He rolled over and threw the blanket over his head.

Honda laughed, grinning at the ball where his friend laid. He journeyed down the stairs to find Yami no Bakura sitting on the counter. His calloused hand was wrapped around a mug of coffee. It was the appropriate black and somehow smelt a little burnt.

It was normal for Honda to ignore Bakura but, for some reason, the blackness of the coffee was reflecting in the spirit's eyes. Honda couldn't ignore the stare and said firmly, "What?"

Bakura took a few minutes. He took a gulp of the caffeine and said sternly, "Don't play with him."

"What are you talking about?" Honda said, putting the kettle Ryou used for tea on the stove. He wiped off the water droplets with a bit of a scowl on his face.

There was bitterness in the way Bakura dumped the dregs of his coffee into the sink. He took a box of cigarettes from his shirt pocket and held one between his long fingers, "I'm not stupid, Kid." He placed the smoke between his lips and lit the stick. He took a deep inhale, letting the smoke return into the air through his words, "I know what happened last night and I'm just warning you not to take another step towards Ryou."

"Are you protecting him? That's quite _nice_ of you, Bakura." Honda snapped back as he took out a tea bag and mug. He waved the smoke coming towards him away with his hand.

The idea of himself being "nice" disgusted Bakura. "I'm not protecting him." He confessed, shoving a hand in his pocket, "I'm _helping you_." He took a seat back on the counter and flicked the ashes of his cigarettes into the mug he had just used, "Ryou's not a stable being. He's actually quite broken already. I'm more than surprised that he hasn't drowned himself in the bath tub yet."

"How dare you!" Honda interrupted, angry beyond belief. Nobody was going to speak of his friend that way. He was loyal to all of his friends until the end.

"Relax, Pretty boy. Don't get your panties all in a knot." A sick grin formed on his lips, "Or do you not wear any?" He took another drag from his cigarette and glared at Honda from the corner of his eye, "I'm just telling you like it is. The doll is ripped, don't pull at the thread. Do you understand me? I don't know you, nor care about you. I don't really care about Ryou. I'm just making sure there isn't more shit I got to clean up at the end of the day." He put the cigarette out in the coffee mug and jumped off the counter, scratching the back of his head and yawning, "But hey…" he grinned, looking over his shoulder, "Who would trust someone like me?" he gave the other boy a mock salute and cradled his rear through his back pockets as he went up the stairs and disappeared from sight.

Honda stood in the middle of the kitchen floor. He stared at the spot Bakura had disappeared from. Again, he continued to search, but no results were uncovered. Was he really going to trust the yami's words?

Did Bakura assume Honda was sleeping with Ryou? Yes, Honda cared for the boy, but Seto. Wasn't Honda just in the bathroom this morning praying for freedom from Seto's bindings? Honda was not going to give up on the brunet. Nor… nor did he want to throw Ryou away.

_He's actually quite broken already…_

Bakura's voice starting to ring in Honda's ears. He wouldn't be surprised if the spirit's words were true. Though, there was something about what he had said. Did Bakura know something Honda didn't?

The tea kettle whistled and grabbed Honda's attention. He turned the stove off and poured the water into the mug with the tea bag floating at the top. The marble from the Ramune bottle came to mind. Honda's body suddenly turned cold; remembering how easily it had sunk to the bottom.

x-x-x

It was somewhat of a filler chapter, I know, but I plan on updating again really soon. I'm quite excited by how this is turning out and new ideas are constantly pouring into my mind. I'm VERY happy with Bakura in this chapter. I love the way I portray him. Or maybe it's just me? Anyways, thanks you for your reading and support. I 3 you guys!


	10. Ginger Snaps

Chapter Ten: Ginger Snaps

Honda thought it was best not to stay around the house much longer. He had shared breakfast with Ryou and collected his things.

"You can't stay just awhile longer?" Ryou had practically begged as he finished the last of the dishes. The sink looked the way Ryou had always liked it; sparkling clean.

He shook his head, "I promised Jou." He knew how important it was to Ryou that he stayed, but he knew it wasn't his place to do so. _I don't belong here._ He had decided while he was spreading jam on English muffins earlier that morning.

He had said good-bye and ruffled Ryou's hair. He had a feeling the other boy did not want to be held at the moment. He waved and walked into the winter wind. He looked back to see Ryou had already closed the door behind him, but Bakura was peering out from between the blinds on the second floor. Honda laughed a little, giving Bakura a mock salute. _Your orders were followed, Captain._

It took a while to travel across town to Jou's apartment. Honda knew it, but for some reason, he felt like walking instead of taking a cab or the train. He didn't really have control of his actions anymore. They just sort of happened. It was as if his dream was trying to tell him to get the control back. _I'm in charge of me._ He kept telling himself. _Yet, what I do…it takes charge of other people._ It sounded like he was a little kid again, just realizing this simple logic. Though, it sounded so new, so unheard of. Honda didn't know why he had never thought of it before.

Shizuka greeted Honda at the door. She had her usual cheerful smile and her eyes lit up with a certain delight, "Hi Honda! Merry Christmas... again." She wore a Santa hat and a cream colored sweater with a snowflake. Honda was more than amused. He stepped inside the home and smiled back, "Merry Christmas to you too."

Jou came into the room with a pair of deer antlers on his head and a red clown nose, "Honda!" he said as he high fived his friend, "Glad you could get here, Man."

Honda couldn't hold his laughter in, "Haha! Jou, what are you wearing?"

"I'm Rudolph, Dude. You know the red-nosed reindeer?" Jou shook the little bell tied around his neck.

Honda decided to dismiss it, "Jou, you know I don't ask about what you and Kaiba do in your spare time." He put on a fake grin. The only reason he didn't ask was because it would break his heart. He advanced into the home, grabbing a cookie from the plate Shizuka had set out.

"They're ginger snaps." Shizuka said, "I made them this morning."

"They're awesome. Thanks, Shizuka." Honda took another, sitting down in his usual chair, "So, what's the plan, Man?"

Jou shrugged, "Chill out, drink cocoa, and watch Christmas movies." He turned on the television. The weather channel showed the forecast for the next few days. There was no sign of snow, "Aw man. No white Christmas? That sucks."

"Aw." Shizuka chimed in, "Snow's my favorite too. What about you Honda?"

"Eh, I don't mind so much." Honda said as he swallowed the last of his cookie. He grinned at Jou, "You know me and snow."

"One of these days, I'm gonna chuck you into a snow bank with your boxers over your head." Jou challenged.

"You _did_ do that, Dude, remember? You and Otogi did it at Yugi's New Years Party." Honda grinned. It was a great prank. He would have done the same thing if he wasn't the victim.

Jou laughed so hard, the bell around his neck jingled, "Oh yeah! That's right! Then we locked you out and you stood out in the cold butt naked! Oh man we laughed for _weeks_!" his laughter subsided and a small sadness fell onto his face, "We used to laugh for weeks about a lot of things."

This grabbed Honda's attention. Had it really been so long since they had last been anywhere together? One missed Sunday brunch had become three and their visits to the arcade dated back to the beginning of fall...several months ago. He smiled sadly, "A lot's changed since you've been with Kaiba."

"Are you okay with that?" Jou blurted out. He suddenly shook his head, "What a stupid question. Of course you're not. I'm sorry, Man. I..."

_"I'll break up with him." Jou said, smiling, "Just for you."_

_"For me?" Honda asked, completely shocked. Was his friend really considering his feelings?_

_Jou nodded, "That way we can spend more time together. Besides...I know you love him. I'll back away for you two."_

"You knew?"

"Knew what?" Jou asked, "Honda, were you even listening?"

"Huh? Yea, of course." Honda shook his head to shake the daydream off, "It's cool. I don't mind that you got a boyfriend. If anything, I can see where you're coming from."

"You do? You mean to say you like Kaiba?" Jou said, beaming with pride. He never turned down a moment of praise.

Honda gulped. _Did I say too much?_ He bit his lip, "W-Well _I_ don't like him. I uh meant he and you are uh _nice_ together?" _Smooth Hiroto..._

Jou raised an eyebrow, "'Nice', huh?" he laughed, "You big dope!" he teased, punching Honda in the shoulder.

"Ow!" Honda laughed, hitting Jou back, "What was that for?"

"Whatever, Dude." Jou shrugged, "Can't I miss punching my best friend?" he crossed his arms, "So, speaking of couples, why aren't you with my sister yet?"

"Shizuka?" Honda asked, looking over Jou's shoulder. The girl was rolling out cookie dough on the kitchen counter as they spoke. He blinked, "Me and her?"

"Well yea, Man. She totally digs you. I can't think of anyone better with her either!" Jou nudged Honda, "Why don't you go talk to her right now."

"What? Now?" it was too late. Jou gave a hearty shove and Honda went staggering into the kitchen. Shizuka gasped in surprise, "Oh Honda! You scared me! Did you need something?"

He regained his balance and scratched the back of his head, "Umm no. I- I'm good." _D'oh! Oh no, Man! How the hell am I going to get out of this one?_

"Its okay, Honda." Shizuka said with a sad smile. She wasn't looking at Honda as she continued to roll out the dough, "I'm sure you know what's best."

Honda raised an eyebrow. Had she heard? Did Otogi let it slip after all? He had his eyes open a little wide, "Umm...Shizuka?"

"I love you, Honda." Shizuka said, stopping in mid-roll. She let go out the rolling pin and turned towards her adoration, "Ever since the day you held my hand. Do you remember?"

"Umm yea. In Battle City. You couldn't see then." Honda recalled the incident very well.

Shizuka nodded, "Yet you cared about me. You made sure I was always okay. You always encouraged me to do my best to support my brother and you always made sure I was always safe. I've continued to love you ever since." she turned back to her dough and stamped it with a cookie cutter that looked like a star, "But, it's alright. I understand."

Honda couldn't believe what she was saying. Sure, he knew Shizuka was fond of him and he knew she was maybe even had a little crush, but love? Love couldn't have happened right under his nose. Though, with Ryou, didn't Ryou fall in love with him too? He shook his head, "Shizuka, there's a really important reason why I can't be with you."

"I know. I told you that I understand." she opened the oven and took out the tray of cookies and set them upon the stove. She looked back at Honda. There were no tears in her eyes, "I may have been without sight for a little while, but I still learned to read."

The boy gasped, seeing Shizuka move the cookies over to a cooling rack. The Christmas tag. The tag that labeled the gift; _Seto's _gift.

"...To: Seto..." Honda started, slightly horrified.

"With fondness: Honda." Shizuka finished. She piled the cookies that had been sitting for a while onto a plate and offered them to Honda, "I'm sure my brother has eaten all the ones out there." that sad smile reappeared on her face, "I'll see you later, Honda."

Honda didn't know what to say. He stood there with the plate of cookies for the longest time. He stared at the crumbed dessert with a blank expression. Finally, he looked back up at the girl and said, "I wish it wasn't like this, Shizuka. You know I'm sorry."

"Nobody ever _wishes_ for these sorts of things to happen, Honda." Shizuka said as she put the dough cut outs into the oven and closed the door. She removed her apron and placed it on a peg, "They just do. It's the person's responsibility to see the best of things and get through them." she locked eyes with him, "...and you never_ have_ to go through them alone. Sometimes, it's nice to have someone there for you." she took hold of Honda's arm and said softly, "Sometimes, it's just what someone needs." she squeezed the boy's arm one time and disappeared down the hallway.

Honda didn't watch her go. He continued to stare down at the plate of cookies. The top one was of an angel that sported a sprinkle on the left side of its chest. A sprinkle in the shape of a tiny heart. He smiled and took the cookie, hiding it at the bottom of the plate. He didn't want Jou to eat it before Honda got to it.

He returned into the living room and saw Jou was sitting in front of the television. As predicted, the plate that once contained a neat pile of Shizuka's baking was empty. He sighed and joined Jou on the couch. The blonde was surprised to see the frown on Honda's face, "What happened?" he asked with concern.

Honda smiled as he picked up the angel cookie. He stared at it a little bit, laughing at how much the angel looked like Shizuka. He replied, "Ginger snaps."

x-x-x

There was a phone call at about nine that evening. Honda was halfway through a bowl of popcorn as he took the cordless off of its cradle. He pushed the button and said with cheer, "Jou and Shizukas' Holiday Hideout. Honda speaking."

"Oh. So you're the one who Jou made plans with." Honda's jaw dropped. He knew that voice, "K-Kaiba?"

"You know, the best way to make good habits is to practice them." Honda could see Seto smirking on the other end, "Let's try it now, _Mister _Honda."

Honda realized his mistake. He blushed and cleared his throat, "Right. Sorry, Mr. Kaiba."

"That's better." he said, sighing a little, "Is he around?"

"Jou?"

Kaiba rolled his eyes, saying quite seriously, "No, the ghost of Christmas yet to come."

_'Yet to come?' _Honda blushed deeper. _Oh Dear God, why must I think like everyone other teenage boy? _He shook his head. "Umm, h-hang on just a minute." he got up off the floor and walked a little rushed down the hallway. He knocked on the blonde's bedroom door and said, "Jou, Kaiba's on the phone."

The door almost swung off the hinges, "Thanks Honda! I'll only be a second!" he yanked the phone out of the other boy's grasp and slammed the door shut, "Hey Gorgeous." Honda heard on the other side of the door.

His heart sank like a stone. There was something about the phone that Honda didn't like. He didn't like the secrecy of not being able to hear what's going on just a couple feet away from him. He bit his lip. Was he really going to do what he thought he was going to do?

_Why the hell not?_ Honda decided, going back into the kitchen. He picked up the second phone and pushed the button. Carefully, he put the phone to his ear and held his breath.

"It's not that I don't want to spend it with you." Jou whined. Apparently Honda had caught them in the middle of something, "I just haven't seen him in such a long time. I missed him."

"You _missed_ him?" Kaiba asked, a little suspicious.

There was a pause, "...Are you _jealous?_" Jou was shocked. So was Honda. What in the world would Kaiba have to be jealous about? He was Seto-fucking-Kaiba. Anything the boy wanted, he could get at any moment he pleased. _I mean, he could make light with the snap of his fingers for God's sake. 'God's sake'? The guy _is_ God._ Honda thought.

"I am most certainly not jealous." Kaiba snapped, "I'm just concerned is all." he said.

"About what?" Jou asked. There was the squeaking of a bed heard. He had just laid down on it.

Another pause, "I'm not sure. Something about him. That's all."

"He's my best friend and I'm going to spend time with him. I'm sorry if you don't like it." Jou did sound sincere.

"I'm not forbidding you from seeing him. Just...be alert?" he sighed, "So, how long do you have to talk to me?"

"Honda's watching the end of a movie. I'm sure he won't mind." Jou was smiling on his side of the phone.

Kaiba chuckled a little, "You must be so turned on. Who knows if he'll walk in on you."

Jou actually giggled, "What exactly would he be walking in on?"

"You bending over backwards while you beg for release."

"Mmm sounds great."

Honda's eyes went wide. They weren't about to do what he thought they were going to do, were they? He quickly hung up the phone, dropping it onto the kitchen table. He looked down the hallway, his body trembling slightly. Just a couple meters away, Jou was...was...

"Damnit!" Honda cried out, falling onto the kitchen floor. His knees couldn't support the overwhelming angst in his body, "Why is this happening to me? This is so unfair!"

A pair of thin arms wrapped around his shoulders. Someone had joined him on the floor. He placed his hand the arms wrapped around him. After awhile, he sighed and whispered, "...Do they do that a lot?"

The small voice replied, "Every night they spend apart."

Honda hung his head, "How can you sit here with me when I've hurt you?"

Shizuka continued to smile sadly, "I'm going to try to keep you safe." she replied. Her forehead pressed against the back of his head. She closed her eyes and inhaled his shampoo, "I'm going to make sure you stay strong for my brother." she squeezed him tight, "I'm going to make sure you do your best."

Honda felt tears sting his eyes. The only girl he had ever loved in any way shared his pain. On the kitchen floor, they stayed there in silence, holding each other's grief inside. He took one of Shizuka's hands and pressed it against his lips, "You're a saint, Shizuka."

The girl had tears already streaming down her cheeks. She nodded and said, "If only it would snow..."

x-x-x

Aww oh my gosh this was such a sad chapter. I've been planning Shizuka and Honda's conversation for a little while. It didn't turn out how I thought it would. Instead, it turned out even BETTER. I'm so excited for some reason. Anyways, Christmas is coming for us, but it's over for Honda and the gang. It's back to work for Honda. I wonder how the holidays changed Honda's work effort. I guess we'll find out next chapter, now won't we? Haha. See you later!


	11. Habits

Chapter Eleven: Habits

Christmas day was a blur for Honda. It was a day that was supposed to be joyful and covered in ripped wrapping paper and cheer. Honda felt heavy and weak. There was nothing he could say. There was nothing he could _do_ to make all of the time he had spent and all the thoughts he had had disappear. _I just want to stop thinking about it._ Though, there wasn't a thing anybody could do to take back all of the emotion he had wasted. Honda sighed as he tugged his jacket on to leave. He had hidden his despair all day, but now it was beginning to wear on his mind.

"Take care of yourself, okay?" Shizuka had said while Jou was running back into his room to retrieve Honda's forgotten belongings. She smiled, "I'm here for you."

"I know." Honda said, nodding. He had already given her invitation thought. Was he really willing to give himself the comfort of a friend? Of all the people to confide in; the sister of his enemy? Honda's eyes went a little wide. Since when did Jou become his _enemy_? It was definitely time to go home.

He gave one last wave and smiled at Jou before closing the door. It was cloudy outside and there was an unusual humidity. Honda kept his jacket unzipped and let the thick breeze cool his body and mind. _This _was what he needed right now. It was a shame that the walk was so short. He had reached his apartment in less than ten minutes. The key was slid gently through its cradle and the door swung open.

Nobody was home and, for some reason, Honda had expected it to be that way. It was Christmas afternoon and the smell of a feast was hovering through the kitchen. The oven door was, however, closed; concealing its contents from Honda until it was done. His mother was more than likely picking up something she had forgotten for the dinner. She was infamous for having those sort of incidents.

A hot shower sounded like the best option. Honda stripped down on his way there, gathering the stray garments in his arms as he went. He dumped them onto the bathroom floor and turned the shower on. It didn't take long for the room to be misted with steam. Honda let him be enveloped in the fog. He felt his skin start to become clammy, but he could care less. It was slightly comforting. Eventually, he felt the will to move from the center of the room and into the shower.

He stepped in and grabbed the soap. Lathering his hands, he ran the foam over his skin. He couldn't help but noticed how _green_ his skin looked. He had grown up with a naturally olive tone, but he was never this light before. His also once muscular arms were becoming thinner and the ribs that were just showing were now sickly protruding out. He lifted his head and stared openly at the ceiling. He let his lips part and started to think back. When was the last time he ate? No...not just a cookie here and there but an actual meal. Had it been so long that he can't remember? It was hard to imagine. There was a time where he used to fight with Jou about the last dumpling. Now, he barely had the desire to pick up the chopsticks. _It's not that I haven't had food. It's just that...I don't want to eat._ he looked down and placed a hand on his disappearing stomach. There was nothing about him that was too out of the ordinary. He still looked alright. Nobody had noticed yet, right? Surely if his friends had been concerned, they would have said something.

The water had become cold and he knew it was time to get out. He turned it off and shivered as he stepped out from behind the curtain. The cool air outside of the shower raised goose bumps on his arms. He pat himself dry and wiped the fog from the mirror. He stared like he always did. _Nope...there's definitely nothing too bad. I'm fine._ He sighed and pulled down the bottom of his eyelid. Nothing weird about that either. So, why were there dark circles?

"Hiroto?" his mother called from the other side of the door, "Are you home?"

Honda called back at the door, "Yea. Hi Mom." he wrapped the towel around his waist and grabbed his laundry off the floor. They were slightly damp from all the moisture that had surrounded them. He twisted the knob and stepped out into the hallway. He smiled, "Merry Christmas."

Honda's mother's eyes had gone soft at the sight of her son, "Oh same to you, Dear." she was happy to see him home, "How was Jou's?"

"Great. Thanks for letting me go." he decided that if he stood there long enough, his thinning body would become noticeable. He started to walk away offering to help with dinner. His mother had turned him down and Honda was nowhere near offended. He closed himself into his room and opened the drawer to find something to wear. Hopefully, he could find something that wouldn't look too baggy on him.

x-x-x

Christmas faded off and the next day, Honda was scheduled to work. As reluctant as he was to go, he knew it was best. The only reason he had gotten the job was to buy Christmas presents, but now that he was in the swing on things, he realized that having a job wasn't too difficult to keep up with.

He delivered belated Christmas cards and several prototypes that were ready to be tweaked for next Christmas. Honda didn't really think about it as he left them on desks and in inbox bins outside office doors. He was just doing his job.

The girl that was once Seto's delivery service had left when the holidays had come. There was a note posted on Mitsumura's door the day everyone was due back. Honda was tall enough to look over the crowd. He squinted to read the notice of a new promotion. Several people sounded their opinion;

"I'm perfect for the job. I've been here longer than all you pieces of scum." a rather cocky man stated.

"Sure, okay. I doubt a _guy_ like you would get it." someone argued, "I can see how she had gotten the job before. She was quite a looker, if you know what I mean." his eyebrows wiggled

A friend of the speaker gasped, "You don't think Mr. Kaiba would do such a thing, do you?" She twirled a piece of her hair.

"Of course he would. A teenager with all the power and money? He wouldn't have anything better to do."

"Oh goodness!"

Bitter anger crashed into Honda. He clenched his fists and grid his teeth. How dare they talk about Seto that way! He snarled, "You people don't know anything."

A boy about his age looked over his shoulder at Honda, "Oh yea? Just what do you know about Kaifuck, huh Newbie?"

Honda growled, "A lot more than you, you little shit. Show some respect." he watched the kid face him with an angry gleam in his eye, "Or maybe I'll just have to give you a lesson in manners."

"You wanna go, Punk?" the boy asked, rolling up his sleeves. He placed his hands on Honda's shoulders and shoved him back away from the group of people.

Honda pushed up his sleeves as well, "Like hell I do. Let's go, Pencil Dick." he wasn't going to let anyone get away with talking about Seto like they had. He was going to teach them all. He wanted all of them to see just how beautiful their boss really was.

The other boy growled, pulling his fist back. He roared, aiming straight for Honda's jaw. Honda was faster. He took a hold on the incoming blow and twisted the arm around the offender's back. He was easily able to kick him in the back of the knees and set him down onto the ground. Immediately, Honda grabbed him by the collar and gave him blow after blow across the left side of his face.

Of course, a large group of spectators had gathered around. Some people had tried to pull Honda away, but Honda kept shouting, "Get away! Don't touch me!"

Hiroyuki was fetched and he had received an elbow in the gut as he tried to grab Honda's assaulting hand. His glasses had gone askew, but he kept preventing Honda from hurting the other teen any farther. Eventually, he got a good hold on him and threw Honda into his office. The spectator's cheered a little and several people went to the injured boy's side.

The older man straightened his glasses as he closed the door. He had shoved Honda in a chair and fixed his tie. Honda, without a scratch on him, sat disgruntled in his chair. He noticed there was nothing but a cool attitude coming from his boss. This feared Honda. Was he getting fired? "Are you going to kick me out now?" he asked.

Hiroyuki smoothed a stray hair, "Kick you out? I'm not quite sure yet. To be quite honest, I think you deserve a prize. That kid is, pardon my choice of words, an idiot."

A smile came from Honda. Hiroyuki was apologizing for saying the word 'idiot'? This was new to him. He sighed and said, "So, what's going to happen to me then?"

"Well, I doubt you'll be very popular in the mailroom now. At least, not to his cronies, and trust me...there's a lot of them." Hiroyuki picked up his phone, "Let me discuss this with upstairs. I don't think we've ever had a physical fight in Kaibacorp before. Even down in the lowly mailroom." he smiled warmly and began to dial.

There was an unusual comfort Honda had experienced when he saw that smile. It was almost like his own father was looking at him after he had T.P.ed a neighbor's house. There was disapproval, but Hiroyuki couldn't scold him with a straight face. There were a couple moments of silence as the phone rang. Honda was unable to hear his savior's voice, but the phone had been picked up. Hiroyuki folded his arms, "Hello, Sir. This is Hiroyuki from the dungeons." he laughed a little, "Yes I know. I don't know why I'm down here either." he cleared his throat and adjusted his glasses, "Right. Well, I have an employee here who, for lack of better term, kicked the _shit_ out of a coworker."

There were several moments of silence on Hiroyuki. Honda assumed he was being told his sentence. _God how embarrassing. At least Hiroyuki didn't say my name._

"The question of unemployment is hovering in the air. Do you agree?" he nodded, "Uh huh. His name?" he glanced over at Honda and chewed the inside of his cheek, "Honda Hiroto?" he had guessed correctly, "Yes Honda." he nodded again, "Uh huh...mmhmm...of course. Right away, Sir." he hung up the phone and sighed. He turned and smiled at Honda, "Mr. Kaiba would like to see you about the matter personally."

Honda blushed, "W-what for?"

"Heck if I know. It was a rather unusual request." Hiroyuki removed and started to clean his glasses. He grinned as he slid them back on, "Mr. Kaiba hates to wait, you know."

Honda's eyes went wide, "Oh! Right!" he leapt from his seat and bowed, "Thank you, Sir." he said and hurried out of the room. He was in such a rush, his tie had gotten caught on the office door. Gagging, he reopened the door and laughed nervously, "uh haha." he waved at Hiroyuki, "I guess I'll see you later."

Hiroyuki waved a little and laughed, "I'm sure." and with that, Honda scuttled away.

It was familiar. The long corridor with the same as it had always been. Honda was surprised to see Hotaru wasn't at her usual position. He took a deep breath, walking down the hall with his fists held tight. He kept walking with the memories of what had occurred just the night before hidden away in the back of his thoughts. Jou...what he and Kaiba had done last night was something Honda still couldn't stomach, but that didn't matter. Nothing Honda thought mattered. He was as worthless as always.

He knocked on the office door with the same meaningless attitude. He almost just wanted to turn around and forget the whole damn thing. Was it really worth it to keep working for him?

"Come in already. I don't have all day." a more than irritated tone snapped from the other side of the doors.

Honda jumped, pushing hard on the door and stumbling in. He cleared his throat and fixed the collar of his shirt. He stared up at Seto and the anger was easily soothed. Honda mentally cursed his lack of control. He continued to stand in front of the large desk, waiting.

The taller boy smirked, "I'm sure you've been in this sort of situation before, knowing who your best friend is." Seto stood from his desk and raised an eyebrow, "I suggesting you explain yourself."

"I hit him because he was pissing me off." Honda explained. It was the only thing he could think of saying without confessing that he had really tried to be a knight in shining armor. He bit his lip and glanced away from the stern glare that was Seto Kaiba's eyes. _What will I say? Should I lie? Lie? When was the last time I lied? Honda get a hold of yourself!_

"May I ask what made you so PMSy that you had to punch him out? Saying he pissed you off is somewhat vague, don't you think?" Seto walked around his desk and leaned against the glass surface.

Honda watched with strange fascination. It was such a simple pose, but he had never seen Seto look more beautiful. He cleared his throat and decided that the best thing to do was tell the truth. Not the _whole _truth, but just enough to keep his job, "He was belittling you."

This wasn't what Seto had expected. His eyes went a little wide and his lips parted as he gasped quietly. His eyebrows were up so far, they were hidden behind his bangs, "You...defended me?"

A small blush went across Honda's cheeks. He quickly explained, "Well he umm you! You're my best friend's _boyfriend_. I couldn't let him get away with bitching you out behind your back." he inwardly smiled. He was a genius.

Seto didn't smile, but it was close. He nodded, "I see. Well, that was loyal of you. I expected no less from one of Yugi's fanclub." he sighed, "Well, I'm sure you've heard of the news of a promotion?"

Honda blinked, "Huh? Well yea." was Seto going to tease him before firing him?

The billionaire smoothed back his hair, "Well just picking a worthless idiot out of the bunch is a waste of time and time makes money. So, I think it would just be best to pick the best idiot out of them all right now." he smirked, "Congratulations. You start right now."

A wave of relief, shock, and even love swelled inside of Honda. He got promoted? Not only that, but he was working for _Seto Kaiba!_ He beamed. He found no shame in being his "bitch". If anything, it was a blessing. He bowed his head and smiled, "Thank you, Kaiba."

There was a playful tone in Seto's voice, "For the last time, Honda. It's Mr. Kaiba and if you forget again, I'll reconsider hiring the village idiot."

x-x-x

Yay for Honda! Just an average day in the office really can be exciting, huh? Sorry this didn't really have much of a plot and there's been a lack of Honda and Seto 3, but with the way this fic is going, I wonder if it'll EVER happen. By the way, how did you like me updating two chapters at once. I know, I know. I'm awesome. tehe love you all!


	12. Friendly with the Demons

Chapter Twelve: Friendly with the Demons

Honda enjoyed delivering for Seto personally. The first half of January was pleasant and Honda was able to indulge in his habit of watching the other boy work. He decided that if he had to spend the rest of his life just watching Seto work, he would be the happiest man alive.

Though, as much fun as it was to spend the majority of his time on the upper levels of the building, there were certain things that kept him a bit distracted. Things such as the way Seto sat in his chair. Half of the time, the teenager sat with his head propped up with his hand. He would work in a blasé sort of fashion. Skimming his computer monitor and shifting throw papers made him look bored and annoyed. Seto would bit on the ends of his glasses when he wasn't wearing them and his left eyebrow twitched slightly when he wasn't getting his way. Honda was starting to pick up on the tiniest of details. He had never been some amused.

"I'm sorry, but this isn't mine. This is on the other floor." A voice broke Honda's daydream.

The boy looked down and saw that indeed, the employee was right. Honda blushed in embarrassment, "I'm sorry. My mistake." He bowed his head and headed for the elevator. As soon as the doors shut, he let out a breath. He was constantly off in La La Land; unable to keep his head in the game. How could he was Seto's personal mail boy?

His obsession was growing larger. He would come home and pace his room, checking the time every so often. _Only fifteen more hours until I have to get to work._ He would think. When it was time, he would arrive early, bouncing with an energy that seemed inhuman.

Even the billionaire himself noticed Honda's constant state of cheer, "Was it really that bad working downstairs?" he asked with a small smirk one afternoon.

Honda's ears were tipped with pink, "No. Not at all. I uh…just enjoy up here better." And that was that.

He had even begun eating properly again. Little by little, he was finishing his first serving at dinner and grabbing a bagel for breakfast. It was somewhere near the end of January. Everyone couldn't help but voice how odd it was that no snow had yet to fall. "This summer's going to be unbearable." Someone said.

Yugi had been listening to the other students as he nibbled on a cookie, "It's true. Usually there's a good couple feet of snow melting by now."

"Don't worry about it, Yuge." Jou said as he took a drink from his soda, "I think it's kinda neat."

Honda nodded, "I'll say. Snow's overrated." He smiled and took a large bite of his sandwich.

Yugi beamed, "I see you're eating lunch again, Honda."

The other boy hadn't noticed the return of his appetite, "I wasn't eating before?"

"Well… no to be honest. You would always skip lunch." Yugi shrugged, "All well. I'm just glad to see you're doing okay."

"Don't worry about me, Yugi." Honda assured, "I'm perfectly fine."

"Seto!" Honda heard Jou say and, immediately, Honda looked over. The blonde had gotten up from his seat and was walking towards the door. The taller boy had just walked in.

"Seto, you're back early. Lunch doesn't end for another ten minutes." Jou pointed out, pulling on Seto's sleeve to show his affection, "Did you finish all of that work already?"

Seto pet Jou's head, "Naturally."

Jou smiled and lifted himself up to the tips of his toes to plant a kiss on the lips of his lover, "I'm glad. That means you can spend time with Mokuba and me after school!"

Yugi sighed in happiness, "Everyone's in such a wonderful mood lately." He continued to nibble on his cookie.

Honda had forgotten. He had stupidly forgotten why he and Seto weren't together in the first place. The office was where Honda could ever pretend there was something between him and his gorgeous prince. He didn't remember that there was someone else. Of all the people to forget; his _best friend_.

He put down his sandwich and opened up his history book. With luck he could hide from the perfect couple. He glanced at the sandwich again and shoved it into the paper bag it had come from. He put the bag into the garbage and returned to his seat. Something had made his appetite leave him again.

x-x-x

Work was Honda's paradise. He never had to worry about anything. There was no Jou, no romance, and no drama. Only his job. It was like clockwork when he had finished all of his deliveries for the day and was journeying back upstairs. He had to make his last trip to Seto's office; just like he always did.

He waved at Hotaru as he passed by. Something about that little gesture always made her smile and blush a tad. It occurred to Honda that she had grown a little fond of him. He would laugh at himself afterwards, telling himself that just because he had been asked a lot, does _not_ mean that everyone wanted to be with him. He was just being arrogant.

He knocked on the office door and pushed it open. It was only habit that he knocked. He knew full well that he should assume that Seto was in there. Waiting only caused the CEO to get annoyed and snap at him to hurry up and enter inside.

"Mister Kaiba," Honda said with his usual politeness, "Is there anything else you want me to do today?" he bowed his head.

Seto was sliding his jacket off. It gathered behind him and hung over the edges of the chair. He sighed and shook his head, "Not today, thank you." He never even looked at Honda.

The boy frowned a little, "Sir, do you want me to hang up your jacket for you? It will wrinkle if you do that."

"It's fine." He snapped.

Something wasn't right. Sure, Seto was generally snappy and vexed at work, but he never took such a tone with Honda; especially when he had done nothing wrong.

The phone rang and Seto jumped in his seat. Honda's eyes went wide. Something was _definitely _not right. He watched as Seto picked up his phone, "Kaiba." His expression softened to the point where it almost looked distressed, "Jou, you know that's not it. No- damnit! Jou, let me finish speaking!" there was silence and Seto's jaw dropped. He slammed the phone down and sighed in anger. He ran his hands over his face and spotted Honda standing where he had for the past ten minutes, "What are you still doing here?"

Honda jumped, forgetting he was supposed to be on his way home, "I'm sorry." He bowed his head, "Um…Mister Kaiba, are you in a fight with Jou?" he was more curious than he thought he was. Though, a spirit soared in his heart. Maybe this was his chance to show Seto that he was better than Jou.

Seto ran his fingers through his hair, "…I blew Mokuba off today." He easily confessed as he stared down at his desk, "As though I don't feel guilty enough already about it, Jou gets pissed off and bitches at me about it. He says that I'm here too much and that I should be working on keeping the ones I care about happy; not working on software." He glanced up at Honda, "But I'm sure you'll agree with him, right? He is your friend."

Honda shook his head, "That isn't necessarily true." He stood in front of the desk and reached over, placing a hand on Seto's head, "Jou's just being Jou. He's big when it comes to the importance of family."

"I know and I am too." Was his reply, slowly pushing Honda's hand off of his head, "The only reason I do this is _for_ Mokuba."

Honda was a little upset when Seto had pushed his hand away. However, he kept himself strong. He bit his lip and said back, "Then maybe you should tell Jou that?" he was screaming inside. _Why are you helping him get back together with Jou?_ He sighed, _...Right. Jou's your best friend. Duh._

Seto nodded, "That's not bad advice." He laughed a little, "If only Jou would let me talk."

"Jou's loud…" Honda agreed, "but he'll shut up if you tell him to. Erm…" he added, "_politely_."

"I think it's time for you to go home, Honda." Seto said, looking at the boy through the corner of his eye, "I'll see you tomorrow."

Honda blushed and bowed his head, "Yes, Mister Kaiba." He turned and walked quickly out of the office. Though, he couldn't help but hear Seto say, "Jou? I'm sorry."

How stupid he was. Honda shook his head as he rushed by Hotaru and into the elevator. There, he shoved the button and waited. He wanted nothing more than to get out of the building and into his bed. He was so ridiculous. _No matter where I am…Jou will always be there. _He buried his face in his hands, _Because he's your best friend._

x-x-x

It was back to where it started. That want and desire burned the inside of Honda's body. Or maybe that was the acid burning through his stomach. He hadn't been able to stomach a lot of food lately. His body was beginning to feel it. He began to vomit more often and his head felt very heavy yet light at the same time. He would shake it off and pretend nothing was happening. He had dug through his old clothes, looking for ones that wouldn't be as baggy as his current ones were. He tried to hide his slim frame from everyone. Nobody was going to know of this. He didn't need anybody's pity. He didn't need anybody's help either.

Though, as he straightened his tie, he couldn't remember the last time he ever _did_ need anyone's help. He was always a very independent person. Sure, he had his friends to always back him up, but he never _needed_ them. He doubted this would be any different.

He walked past Hotaru's desk as he did every morning and noticed that something wasn't in its usual spot. Hotaru was the answer. She was not in his desk. Was she sick? He shrugged and didn't let himself dwell on it. He decided to continue on and opened the door of Seto's Kaiba office. What he saw had to be the most ghastly sight his eyes could have ever laid upon.

Jou's head was facing upside down at Honda. His eyes were clenched shut and a moan was escaping his throat. Beads of sweat slid down his body as his hands clawed at shoulders. Shoulders that belonged to Seto Kaiba himself.

Honda stood in the doorway; completely shocked. What was there to do? He looked up at Seto. He was just as unclothed as Jou and was breathing just as shallow. Only, his eyes were open and staring straight into Honda's.

It was those eyes. Those disgustingly beautiful eyes had done it. Honda bolted, slamming the office door behind him. He shoved open the door to the staircase beside the elevator. He had no desire to wait for it to arrive and take him out of this hell. He ran down the stairs and out into the pouring rain. He didn't even bother to register the cold soaking through his thin shirt. He had completely forgotten his jacket, but it was in hell now. Honda promised he would never go into that forsaken place again.

He splashed past people on the sidewalks and continued to sprint. He didn't care that he couldn't breathe. He didn't care that he couldn't see through the tears that burned like fire down his cheeks. He just wanted to leave; escape from his life that he called his own. He didn't know where else to find his freedom. If work could not do it for him, than what? What was going to be his savior. Honda decided that he needed help, but he didn't know who else would understand. Who else was going to be able to realize that Honda was in pain?

Otogi opened the door to his apartment. Someone knocked, but Otogi looked straight in front of him and didn't see a soul. It wasn't until he looked down that he saw Honda passed out on his welcome mat.

x-x-x

Cliffhanger! I KNOW! I'm so sorry, but hey, I'm on a roll. Who knows if I'll post another double chapter, huh? Well, maybe not today, but we'll see. By the way, I know Seto was a little OCC in this chapter. To be honest, I think I did well. We all know how touchy he gets when it comes to family crap. He WAS pissed off first, remember? XP

Review me good or bad news! Love you all! -Rain


	13. Into Hiding

Chapter Thirteen: Antidote

_In a black abyss, water flowed around Honda and began to cover his being. The clear blue engulfed him and made him choke. He cried out, only to receive a mouthful of water in return._

_It didn't take long before Honda was staring up at the surface. His eyes slowly shut until a bright light shined from the darkness. He reached up, swimming with all of his might. It was his savior; his way of escaping._

_A voice called out his name. It sounded so familiar. Honda parted his lips to respond, but he felt his last breath slip away…_

"Damnit, Honda! Wake up!"

Chocking and gagging, Honda sat up in the porcelain bath tub. He rubbed his eyes and frantically looked around. He wasn't home and most definitely not in his own bath tub. He looked again and came face to face with Otogi. It all suddenly came back to him; including why he was there.

"…Otogi." Honda said with tears shining in his eyes. Before they mixed in with the water, Honda already had his arms around Otogi's shoulders.

Otogi said nothing. He had nothing _to_ say. He wrapped his arms around Honda's body, not caring that he would get wet. He rocked the other boy slightly and rubbed his back to try and comfort him.

They sat awkwardly for awhile. Honda hadn't sobbed, but he had let his eyes become agitated by the tears. It was a comfortable moment. He had never felt so safe. He nodded to himself and decided that this was who he needed the help from. He couldn't think of anyone better.

The water eventually became lukewarm and Honda began to shiver from the cooling. He pulled away from Otogi and whispered hoarsely, "Thanks."

Otogi shrugged, "Don't worry about it. Though, do you mind telling me what the hell happened?" his face suddenly became very hard, "Did it have to do with…_them_?"

Unplugging the drain, Honda nodded. He picked up a towel from the tiled floor, "I work for Seto Kaiba."

"I know." Otogi replied.

Honda continued, "I was practically his personal mail boy." He laughed a little darkly. It sounded so stupid to say aloud, "He and I were becoming so close. I had almost forgotten."

The dice gamer dried Honda's hair for him, "So, you and he were perfectly happy until Jou decided to butt in, right? Oh yea. That's so unfair." There was venom in his tone; a sarcasm that was slightly usual for Otogi. He rolled his eyes, "What did Jou do? Deliver flowers? Mail a dirty letter?"

Honda's eyes peered out from under the towel. He felt his lips tremble, "Do you still love Jou?"

"Do birds fly?"

"Have you ever imagined what it would be like to have Jou under you, moaning like no tomorrow from all of your pleasure?" Honda winced a little. The only image he could ever think of when he remembered his best friend now haunted him.

Otogi's eyebrow arched up, "It's happened once or four thousands times."

Honda stood from the tub and let the liquid trickle into the draining water, "Well…I never would think of such a thing." He wrung out his shirt, "and now I'll never have to." He face became blank.

A gasp made Honda jump a little. Otogi covered his mouth with his hand, "They were-? In his office?" his eyes went wide, "Oh Honda!" he felt sympathetic for his friend.

"Yea…" he swallowed hard, "Do you have any dry clothes for me?" he removed his shirt.

Otogi had his back turned to him while he grabbed the pile of clean clothes, "I put you in the bath when you got here. I didn't think you'd like me to undress you. You were burning up with a fever too. You shouldn't run out in the rai- whoa!" once again his eyes grew large, "Honda, how much do you weigh!"

What had happened to Honda was forgotten. Otogi was more concerned about Honda's sickly frame. It had gotten worse. Honda tried to cover himself. He had completely forgotten how hideous he had become. He looked away from Otogi; wrapping his arms tightly around himself to hide. He felt exposed with Otogi's stare on him, "Don't look at me." He ordered, though his voice had started to quiver.

The other boy was surprised, but he didn't let that affect him. He smiled warmly, placing a hand on Honda's bony shoulder. "Don't touch me!" He felt Honda throw his hand off. He only continued to smile, replacing it, "Why not?"

Honda clenched his eyes shut, "I don't want you to touch me." He opened one eye and nervously glanced at the other boy, "Please don't."

Nodding, Otogi removed his hand, "Alright." He said softly, "I won't." he sighed and returned his voice to normal, "Get dressed or your cold is going to get worse." He shoved his hands in his back pocket and glanced from the tiled floor to Honda's eyes, "I'm making soup."

"I'm not hungry." Honda replied while he pulled the shirt over his head.

A small laugh left Otogi's lips, "I don't think you understand." His eyes became a little cold, "I wasn't asking it if you wanted it or not." He opened the bathroom door, "I expect you in the kitchen in ten minutes." He said and disappeared down the corridor.

This was the beginning of Honda's recovery and as bittersweet as it felt for him to admit it, he knew that now was the time to finally get it done. He looked at himself in the mirror and the corner of his lips turned up. Hopefully, in due time, he could find someone to like on the other side of that glass.

x-x-x

_Honda didn't recognize the corridor he was walking down. It looked like a school, but he knew it wasn't his. Nevertheless, he kept walking. He tried to stop himself, but his feet seemed to know where he needed to go._

_They led him to a classroom that looked exactly like his own. Honda recognized everyone in the room; each talking and laughing with their friends. He looked back over his shoulder and saw that the door had magically shut by itself. He reached out, wanting to reopen it, but before he got there, he heard a familiar voice._

_"You bastard!"_

_Honda's eyes went wide. Jou was coming at him with a burning rage blazing in his eyes. He prepared for the blow, expecting a punch across his face, but it never came. He opened an eye, seeing Jou covering his face with his hands. His body began to shake as he sobbed. Honda reached out to touch his friend, "Jou, what-?"_

_"Shizuka!" Jou's voice was muffled from his hands, "Shizuka…" he raised his tear stained face to scream, "SHE'S DEAD BECAUSE OF YOU!"_

_The room shifted to a hospital room. Honda saw a small form under the clean white sheet that lay on the surgeon's table. He crept closer to it; his breath quickly left him and a cool sweat seemed to layer over his entire body. He swallowed hard as his hand grabbed the top of the sheet. He prayed that he wouldn't see her. He hoped that what Jou had said wasn't true._

_In a flash, he threw the sheet off of the body and to his dismay, Jou was true to his word; Shizuka was dead._

_Honda backed away, unable to believe his eyes. Was this really what he saw? No, not Shizuka. He felt heaviness in his heart. Was this his doing? He took a step closer and examined her face under the bright light. He pressed his lips to her forehead and lingered, staring at her eyelids as if they would open again._

_Her eyes snapped open wide and Honda gave a yelp in fear. He quickly stepped back, watching her with shock. She turned her face to at him and bore into him with her cold eyes. In a hoarse and rough voice she said, "If only you loved me!"_

Honda screamed, sitting straight up in his bed. He tried to catch his breath as he attempted to recall his dream. It was a nightmare. Shizuka's corpse coming alive before his eyes made Honda's stomach turn. He quickly pulled back the covers and dashed to the bathroom. He almost didn't make it and the soup that Otogi had forced him to eat came back up into the toilet. He took a couple minutes to rinse his mouth out and do his usual ritual of washing his face. When he went to look up at the mirror, he realized there was nothing there but shelves. He blinked, distinctly remembering it being there before. Had Otogi removed it? He must have.

He didn't let it confuse him as he traveled down the hallway. He had one foot in his room when a feeling began to gnaw at him. He went down to the kitchen and grabbed the phone. He didn't care what time it was. The only thing he wanted to hear some comfort. He waited for someone to pick up on the other line. He tasted the blood that seeped from his bitten lip when he heard his mother's yawning, "Hello?"

"Hi." Was all Honda could get out.

"Hiroto!" she was suddenly wide awake, "Where have you been? I tried Jou's and work and I was so worried! Are you alright? Are you hurt?"

"I'm fine." Honda suddenly felt very tired, "Can I ask a favor from you?"

He didn't have to say much, but there were certain tones that Honda would speak in that made his mother understand a whole lot, "Of course."

"Can you pack a couple bags for me?"

She didn't question anything. She nodded to nobody and responded, "Where am I dropping them off?"

"I'll get them tomorrow."

"Fine." She paused, "Hiroto?"

The boy felt tightness in his throat at the sound of his name, "Yea?"

"Are you in trouble?"

"No, Mom." Honda tried to sound happier for her, "Just…helping out a friend. He uh…he really needs me."

"Well, I hope it's nothing serious."

Honda sighed, "Yea…I do too. I'll see you tomorrow."

His mother understood, "I love you, Hiroto."

"I love you too." He couldn't help but smile. He hung up and the smile instantly faded. His hand was still gripping the receiver. Something was still not right.

He picked it up again, dialing a number that he didn't even have to think about. Another tired voice answered, "Hello?"

A wave of relief went through Honda. He hung up, not even responding to her. She was alive and that's all the peace of mind he needed to go back to bed.

x-x-x

A month later and the update's done! I'm so sorry I took forever. I've already started the next chapter and I hope to have it up soon. Thanks for being so paitent!


	14. Gentle January

Chapter 14 - Gentle January

Honda awoke several hours later to the smell of tea. He smiled and shifted under the blankets. He stretched and opened his eyes, satisfied with seeing himself in the guest room if Otogi's house.

The unnerving feeling that someone was watching him made him sit up. He wasn't surprised to find Otogi standing in the doorway, holding two plastic mugs in his thin fingers. "Your eyes scare the crap out of me." Honda groaned as he sat up in his bed. He yawned as he reached out for a mug.

Otogi passed him one, his eyebrow raised, "Well, I can't help you there." he took a gulp of his tea, "Do you want to take a shower?"

Honda shook his head, "I need to get home. My mom packed some of my things up for me."

"Need some help?"

"Nah." was his reply. He wrinkled his nose at the caramel colored tea, "Thanks anyways." He had no desire to swallow down the liquid in his hands.

"Drink it." Otogi seemed to read his friend's mind, "If you stay in my house, you have to eat and drink and keep it down."

Honda pouted as he took a sip. He smiled as the warmth went through his body and a sweet sensation was left on his tongue, "It's good."

"I put a little honey in it." Otogi smiled as he shook his hips with his words.

"You're such a fruit, Otogi!"

"I am not!" Otogi was defensively, "I just have a sweet tooth..."

Honda laughed for the first time in a long time. He couldn't remember a time when he had so much fun. It was almost like he and Jou were goofing off at school all over again. He took another gulp of his tea and swallowed that memory down. For some reason, he thought Jou and he were dead. It was almost if his whole life before now had disappeared. Would it come back? That's what Honda needed to know. Would it be like the way it was before ever again?

He snuggled up in his borrowed bed, pulling the covers up over his head, "I love your bed."

"Mine's better."

Honda's head poked out of the covers, "It is?" he grinned broadly. He hurried out of the bed and down the hallway. Otogi gasped, "Honda. Don't you dare!" he quickly followed the other boy, "I just changed the sheets!" he entered the toom just as Honda jumped into the pillows and wrinkled the new blankets. He sighed and jumped in as well, tackling Honda out of fun.

The two shared a laugh, tangling their limbs in the blankets. When their breath was out and their laughter could not last, they both laid side by side, facing the smooth white ceiling in silence. "Honda?" Otogi asked.

"Hm?"

Otogi turned onto his side, resting his head on his hand, "This is about more than loving Kaiba, isn't it?" he said, "I mean, I know you and Jou are best friends, but..."

"But what?" That's it." Honda kept his focus on the ceiling, "Jou has been my best friend since I don't even remember how long. I would never hurt him." he sighed, "He's always got my back. Shouldn't I do the same for him?"

Otogi flipped onto his stomach, twirling a lock of his ebony hair, "He obviously cares about you, Honda. Do you think it's fair to him? He's hurting you and he doesn't even know."

"I'd rather have him not known than have it ruin our friendship." Honda said firmly.

"Isn't him being with Kaiba ultimately 'ruining the friendship'?"

Honda's eyes went wide, "So, what are you saying?" Should neither of us be with Kaiba?"

"Well... yea?"

Honda never looked at it like that. All this time, he blamed himself. He blamed the way he looked, his lack of charisma, his inability to confess to Kaiba first, but he never realized that there was never anything wrong with _him._

Otogi noticed the glazed over look in Honda's eyes, "Honda?"

"I need to get my stuff." Honda said in a rush, "My mom's probably freaking out." he got out of bed and changed his clothes.

Otogi sat up and watched Honda with disinterest, "Maybe if Jou stops dating Kaiba, I can finally tell him how I feel.

Slipping on his borrowed jacket, Honda shrugged, "It's possible. I wouldn't mind." he grinned, "Just as long as you don't hurt him. Afterall, he is my best friend."

x-x-x

Honda's mother was, indeed, "freaking out". He barely had his hand on the doorknob when it swung open and she wrapped him in her arms, "Hiroto! I was so worried!" she realized how easily she could wrap around his waist and stared at her son, "Have you been eating? Are you hungry? Let me make you something."

Honda shook his head, "I'm fine, Mom." he swallowed hard. Lying to her was more horrible than he thought, "Did you pack my stuff?"

She nodded and handed him a carrier bag for his motorcycle, "Do you have your keys?"

"In my pocket." he took his helmet from her shaking hands, "Don't worry about me. I'll be home soon." he kissed her cheek and started to walk away.

"What should I say?" she blurted out, "...If someone should come calling for you?"

Honda bit his lip, wishing he could face his mother and run into he arms. He wanted to be seven years old again, so he could cry the pain away and have her make it all better with her kisses. He wanted to confess about Jou and Seto and how he's been hiding his homosexuality from her for a good handful of years. He wanted nothing more than to tell her that no matter how muchhe loved her cooking, he had refused to eat it and he wanted to apologize if he had to throw it up. Most of all, he wanted to tell her how much he loved her for not asking so many questions and for being here for him now, but the other thing that could come out of his mouth was, "Just say I'm not available."

With that, he straddled his motorcycle, tugging on his helmet and drove his way back to Otogi's.

_Thanks Mom._

He stopped at a red light and was surprised to find that his vision was poor. There was something putting speckles of water on his helmet. Was it raining? It was too cold for rain. He lifted his visor and felt the wet sensation on his nose. He completely ignored the green light and the honking horns from cars. It was finally snowing.

x-x-x

I know this was an extremely short chapter, but I thought it was appropriate to stop here. Sorry. See you in chapter 15!

-Rain


	15. You Can Save Me

Chapter 15- You Can Save Me

Girls were never a big spectacle for Honda. Even when he was younger, he never said they had "cooties" and he didn't think they were annoying. He didn't try to lift up their skirts or pull the heads off their dolls (even though Jou always wanted him to.) To be honest, Honda thought they were always great to talk to and were pleasant to look at.

Though, it didn't take him forever for him to realize he liked boys just a little bit more. Sure, he dated Miho and couple other girls in his time, but boys like Ryou and, of course, Kaiba, were what really drove Honda wild.

He wasn't officially "out". Not a lot of people knew either. He could only think of three off the top of his head. Not even Jou, his secret teller, knew and that scared him the most.

"As if it isn't obvious." Otogi said when Honda had tried to talk to him about it. It was about a month after his first night's stay.

Honda just stared into his coffee mug. The honey was creating a swirl pattern to his tea. He took a look at his baggy jeans and his loose white shirt. What part of his attire screamed gay? He was sitting like a normal guy would with his legs apart and his elbows on the counter. There wasn't anything homo about that. Did someone secretly tattoo "gay" on his forehead? He would have noticed. Though, without the mirrors in the house anymore, Otogi could have easily put it on him while he slept and he would never know the wiser. He watched Otogi swing his hips in his leather pants to the music coming from the radio. His long hair was pulled back into his usual ponytail. Now _he_ was an obvious boy-lover.

Otogi moved to the music and caught the look of confusion on Honda's face. He sighed and retired from his dancing, "Look, it may not seem right to you, but trust me, you'll get used to it." he passed Honda a muffin, "Eat your breakfast."

"You're so demanding." Honda snapped, but stuck out his tongue as a sign of teasing, "I'm not worried about me being gay. It's how Yugi will react and Anzu. Malik, Mokuba, Isis, and Mai-"

"Slow down. You don't have to tell everyone in a rush, Honda." the dice master pointed out as he ruffled the other boy's hair, "Take it in strides and you'll eventually trip." he smiled, "Baby steps."

The odd comfort in Otogi's words made Honda take a nibble out of the muffin in his hands. It was bitter to his mind but he could vaguely remember the fluffy texture. He couldn't mentally remember what a muffin tasted like. He had to reteach himself everything about food again; relearn what he had forgotten. It was going to be so hard, but he was more than relieved to have Otogi with him.

"You feel like doing anything today?" Otogi asked with a casual tone.

Honda shook his head, "Not really." he bit his lip, "I should call work."

"You're still not going back?" Otogi asked, quirking an eyebrow, "You're going to get fired."

"I know." Honda picked the crumbs off of the napkin he was eating off of and placed them onto his tongue. It was common sense to quit working for Seto. Though, in spite of how he felt towards his boss and adoration, he couldn't give up. He couldn't show someone who was so strong see the weakness in Honda.

A quiet but cocky laughter came out of Honda as added, "I wouldn't give Kaiba the satisfaction."

x-x-x

The next couple of days were slow. Honda slumped around the house. He cherished the time he was with Otogi and missed him when he was away at work. At night, Honda wouldn't dream. He'd only see black. The mental exhaustion he'd been fighting had finally caught up with him and he's sleep from eight at night until noon almost everyday.

Otogi had also bought a ton of snacks to satisfy Honda's hunger. Honda's stomach had finally returned to normal and he was gaining back his weight little by little.

He rarely thought of Seto and he never called Jou. At school, he'd pretend to be busy with work and would never fake sleep in class just to catch a look at him. He avoided Seto and never attempted to speak with him about anything; not even the weather.

Finally, the day Honda had to return to work, just in time for the Valentine's Day mail to be floating around; Otogi sat on his bed and asked, "What are you going to do?"

"What I've always done." he replied while fixing his tie, "Pretend nothing ever happened."

Otogi sighed, "You should be a freakin' actor when you get older, Man." he fell back and bounced a little on the mattress.

Honda laughed and leaned over Otogi, "Can you help me with my history homework when I get home?" he kissed Otogi's forehead.

The other boy rolled his eyes, "Hell, with the way my night's going, I'll probably just do it for you."

"That'd be awesome." Honda grinned and grabbed his jacket, "I'll bring home dinner."

"Don't forget."

Honda grabbed his keys and his helmet and headed outside. It was really warm for February. He was worried about the snow melting. For the longest time, he had hated snow, but lately, he smiled whenever he saw it. It reminded him that things aren't so different anymore. Light and day still existed and snow still fell. The world was living without him and even though this thought comforted him, it still frightened him to realize that he wasn't really that important on the planet.

Hotaru was happy to see him when he came up the giant elevator to the top floor. She looked horribly unprofessional as she lost her composure and waved. Realizing her mistake, she squeaked and buried her head in her folder of work. Honda tried not to laugh. This woman was something else.

"G-Good morning, Mister Honda." she said, pushing her glasses up her nose, "It's nice to have you back."

"Thank you, Ms. Hotaru." he nodded and added a cheeky wink to charm her. It never hurt to play his charade if it didn't get too serious. After all, that's how he's lived his entire life.

A cool sweat layered over Honda's skin. He approached the double doors that led to the room he used to adore. He wiped his palms against the upper thigh of his pants and took a deep breath. Nothing could scare him right now. Everything will be fine. He kept repeating that to himself in his head as he went to open the door.

The door swung open and to his surprise, there was no light in the room. The blinds touched the floor, shielding any ray of daylight from coming in. The only light Honda could see was the blue glow coming from Seto's computer. The billionaire himself had his arms cushioning his head on his desk; the boy was fast asleep.

Honda didn't know what to do. As adorable as it was to see the sleeping CEO, he knew that Seto didn't want to wake up knowing he had wasted valuable time. Honda walked around and stood behind the giant leather chair. He frowned, _How long has he been like this?_ He gently reached over and ran a hesitant hand on Seto's back. He knew he shouldn't, but he couldn't stop himself from touching the God that was Seto Kaiba. He feared nothing and risked everything by putting his other hand on Seto's shoulder and began to massage the tense muscles that were beneath his fingers.

Honda's head felt light. He was in his own heaven. He didn't care if Seto woke up and scolded him or if Jou walked in and saw the comfortable position of his lover and best friend. He certainly didn't try to control himself. He felt his hormones taking over his body and began to massage the back of Seto's neck, taking a pleasure in knowing how soft Seto's skin really was and laughed softly as he felt the stray hairs under his thumbs.

Seto hadn't moved from Honda's ministrations. Assuming he was still sleeping, Honda stopped his touches and sighed. Maybe this was his chance. He could very well confess right now. If he couldn't do it to Seto's face while he was awake, he could easily do it as the boy slept. Honda sighed and sat on the free space on Seto's desk. He interlaced his fingers and rested his elbows on his knees. Taking another deep sigh, he said softly, "Hey, Kaiba. Or should I still be calling you 'Mister'?" he laughed a little, "I uh... I have a problem and I'll just come out and say it has a great deal to do with you.

"I've missed 34 days of work here at KaibaCorp." Honda continued to say, "I'm sure you remember the day I ran out so I'm positive you know that the excuses I've been telling the mail room aren't true. I'm not deathly ill, but I am sick." he swallowed hard, "I'm sick with love, Kaiba." he choked it out, "I'm in love with you.

"I- I know that it's probably horribly obvious and that I'm the biggest idiot in the world and there's no way you'd ever be with me and all of these things, but I just wanted you to know that I've thought of nothing but you for the longest time. You make me ache with desire and it burns...because you're with Jou." he paused to breathe. This was all coming out so quickly, "My best friend since I don't even remember...Jounouchi Katsuya." he laughed bitterly, "Of all the people for you to love, Kaiba. Did you have to love him? Why couldn't it be someone else? Why are you making me hate my best friend? Why couldn't you just like girls?" his grip around his own fingers began to tighten. He was becoming angry and all of his blame, his hurt, was aimed right at the boy that had yet to shift from his sleep.

"I can see why you don't love me. I'm so weak." Honda said as he looked down at the floor. "I'm not even talented at anything. Hell, I don't think I've ever won anything in my entire life. I don't do well in sports, I can't get amazing grades, I'm the worst duelist on the planet, and I could never run my own company."

His voice got soft, "I hate myself. I despise the fact that your love has caused me to make myself even worse than I was. I lost roughly 30-something pounds while this has been happening. Aren't I gross? I've only managed to gain back 10 or so. I've been hiding it so well. Nobody's really noticed. Nobody ever notices me and until a little while ago, I was okay with that. It didn't matter as long as you kept smiling at me like you do sometimes. You're so sickeningly polite to me, but I can tell that you really mean it when you smile."

"There's something about you, Kaiba. Something I can't explain. You're just so beautiful and so smart and..." Honda swallowed hard, "and when I see you hold Jou the way you do, I get so jealous. I want to run up and pull him away. It's not fair. It's horribly unfair that you make me feel that way. Have you no shame? Don't you feel the least bit sorry?" Honda took a couple deep breaths. He felt his nose burning from the tears that were gathering in the corner of his eyes, but he didn't let them spill. He didn't want to cry just in case Seto saw. He composed himself and sniffled.

"I don't know how long it's been." He kept saying, "I don't remember exactly when I fell in love with you. Though, I do know that I don't regret it. I may have become physically sick and I know I could never have the same friendship with Jou that I once had, but I will never take back how I feel about you." he slid off of Seto's desk and stared at the executive with want burning from deep his soul, "You're probably dreaming about him right now. You're probably thinking about making love to him right at this second..." he sighed, "...and yet I stand here telling you about how strong you make me."

He didn't have anything more to say. Just about everything on his mind was just pulled away and he sighed with a bit of a smile. He had done it and he was over it. He ran his fingers through Kaiba's hair one last time and said, "I'll see you around, Kaiba. If you need anything, I'll be in the mailroom." and he left, shutting the door softly behind him.

x-x-x

That night, little was said at Otogi's house. The two greeted each other when they saw each other and ate dinner with Otogi ranting about work. Honda had done the dishes, taken a shower, and crawled into his bed. As he stared at the ceiling, he couldn't think about anything. He knew that if he started to, he would make himself sick remembering what he had done in Kaiba's office. Though, as his mind began to shut down, he recalled what he had said and felt a hollow feeling in his stomach.

He got out from under the covers and tiptoed down the corridor. There, he pushed open the door to Otogi's room and crept in. Otogi was fast asleep, sprawled out in his king sized bed. Honda's knees touched the edge of the bed as he whispered, "Otogi? I'm going to sleep in your bed tonight, okay?" he slipped into the blankets and slept fairly close to his friend, "...and if you molest me," Honda said softer, "I'll hit you again."

x-x-x

Sorry it took so long. I didn't mean to. I got a boyfriend and drowned in teenage love for a while, but it's over and I'm back, so expect another update soon, okay? Thanks for any comments. I really appreciate them!

-Rain


	16. Reckless

Chapter 16 – Reckless

Love was in the air. At least, it was in the rest of Domino City. Honda hadn't felt any love since...he can't remember.

"Who you takin' out this year, Honda? Sunako? Amaya?" Jou asked his buddy as he nudged him; a cheesy grin on his face.

Hiroto Honda had a date every single Valentine's Day since he was able to date. Every year, he's taken out some lucky girl for at least one night of romance and fun. This year, Honda hadn't even thought about it.

A couple girls had come up to him, giving him chocolate a week before the holiday had even come. One girl, a first year, had blushed uncontrollably as she handed him the little box of affection. She had bowed her head and left before Honda had time to accept or decline her gift.

Honda shrugged as he looked over at his friend, "I don't know."

"You know, Shizuka doesn't have a date or anything." Jou pointed out. The boy was so obvious it made Anzu and Yugi laugh. The four of them were strolling their way over to the arcade to waste a Sunday.

"You never know. She's a big girl. She can find her own date." Once again, Honda shrugged. Now that it was brought up, he can't help but wonder who he should take out for Valentine's Day.

"Well, I'm having a party." Anzu said quickly. She pulled three invitations out of her purse, "It's going to be a Valentine's Day party at my house. Everyone's going to be there." She sighed a little, "Even the Ishtars."

Jou made a face, "Malik? Oh man!" he opened the door to the arcade, "You only invited them because you wanted Isis to go."

Anzu pouted, but didn't want to get into the discussion any further. She brightened up and pointed, "Oh look! The DDR's open. Let's go Yugi!" she grabbed her friend's arm and dragged him away.

Honda arched a brow, "What was _that_ about?"

"You didn't know?" Jou asked as the two sat down in front of their favorite game, "Anzu has the hots for Isis."

"You don't say?" Honda blinked, "When did this happen?" he selected his character and waited for Jou to decide.

Jou multi-tasked well for someone who's so dysfunctional, "Since forever ago. Where have you been, Man?" he bit his lip as the game started, "Mai's got herself a comfy spot in between Isis's tits, so I doubt Anzu's got a chance, but you never know. They're all my friends so I can't really bad mouth any of them."

Honda looked somber, attacking Jou in the game, "Must be nice…to have that ability."

"Huh?"

"You don't have to choose. You can just sit back and watch whatever happen, happen." Honda was starting to speak freely. As of late, he hadn't been able to keep his mouth shut. When he had something to say, he said it. He blamed Kaiba's office. "It's really not a big deal to you; having all of that drama happen. It's actually none of your business, but if one of them go crying to you, you'll be there for them." He looked up at Jou, "But what happens when they all come at you? What will you do then? You can't stay undecided forever. You have to make a choice." He locked eyes with Jou as the blonde stared at him with surprise. There was no fear in Honda's eyes; no regrets towards anything he had said.

Jou was astonished, "What's up with you, Man? Where did that come from?" he reached over and touched Honda's shoulder, "Dude, no offence, but lately you've been freakin' everyone out. You're not being yourself. Is something wrong?"

"No…" Honda said as he removed Jou's hand, "I'm just deciding." He pressed the button on the game and waited for Jou, "Let's do this."

Jou shook it off and put on his smug grin, "Heh. I'll kill you this time." He hunched over the game, ready for action.

_Ring Ring! Ring Ring!_

"Shit." Jou reached in his pocket and pulled out his cell phone. He held it up to his ear and said, "Jou… oh. Hey Honey." He made an apologetic face at Honda, "Huh? Yea I'm with my friends at the arcade. You what? Oh…" his brow knit together, "Sure. I know. I love you. Later!" he hung up and looked at his friend confused, "Seto wants to see you at his office."

Honda blinked, "Oh." He was just as confused at Jou, "I guess I should get over there then." He put his hands in his pockets, "Sorry, Man. We'll do something later, okay?" he walked out into the afternoon sun and headed over to the KaibaCorp building about a mile away. It wasn't until he was halfway there that he realized just what Seto wanted to see him about.

"Fuck."

x-x-x

Hotaru gave Honda the most depressing look a person could give as he stepped out of the elevator and walked over to Seto's office door. Did she know? He shook his head. He doubted it. Putting it out of mind, he stepped into the office that he once again feared.

Seto sat very stiffly in his chair, His legs were crossed in a dignified manner and his fingers were thread together under his chin. He watched Honda's entrance through his silver rimmed glasses and for the first time in a long time, he wasn't smirking. Honda immediately knew that work wasn't on the other boy's mind.

"Honda Hiroto." He said stiffly, "Let's cut the shit." He stood from his chair and offered the one in front of his desk, "Sit."

Honda knew not to leave Seto waiting. He sat very tense, his eyes wide with anxiety. This is what he was dreading. The rejection was on the tip of Seto's tongue. Why was he dragging it out? Why couldn't he have just said it already? He clenched his eyes shut, waiting for the blow.

"I owe you an apology."

Honda's eyes snapped open. What had he just heard? He looked up at Seto with his jaw dropped, "W-What?"

The billionaire walked around his desk and leaned against the wood with his arms crossed, "All this time…I had no idea." Seto pushed his glasses up delicately, "Imagine that. I thought I was intelligent, but it's hard to brag when you miss something that's right in front of your face." He laughed softly, "Though, I can't help but admit I did assume something."

"Assume?"

"I didn't know you cared for me so deeply." Seto spoke as if they were discussing the weather, "On the contrary, I thought you hated every bit of my existence."

Honda's eyes got even rounder, "What are you talking about?" he stood up in anger, "Everything I have done for you! All of the obvious flirting! The smiles! The shoulder rub I gave you!" he blushed at the mentioning of the last event.

"Thank you, by the way." Seto rolled his shoulders, "That felt a little too good." He sighed, "I thought you were just playing nice. You know, with Katsuya being your best friend and all."

"If I hated someone, I would treat them as such without caring who they were dating. Besides, I wouldn't let Jou date someone I didn't like." Honda mumbled the last bit and his eyes wavered.

"And it is comments like that that made me assume that you were in love with Jou."

The sky had fallen. As the setting sun filled the office with its orange glow, there was only the sound of the computer humming and the pounding of Honda's heart. The boy was amazed, "You thought I was- _what?_"

"My mistake. It's really no big deal." Seto picked up a stack of papers from his desk and began to shuffle through them, "I acted all nice for you and everything. To be honest, I'm not even jealous. Human emotions are too ridiculous to get worked up over." He smirked, "Though, I'm sure you know all about that, don't you?"

This was horrible. Honda was ready to vomit. In his blinded judgment, he yanked the paper work away from Seto and flung it in the air behind him. He leaned forward, grabbed Seto by the collar of his jacket and pulled him down into a kiss.

Honda clung to the jacket for dear life, not wanting to pull his lips away. If he was going to be alive for ten more seconds, he would want to die knowing that the last thing he did was kiss Seto Kaiba. It was amazing. Seto wasn't even off guard and complied to the kiss, not touching Honda, but kissing back just enough to respect the action. It was almost a pity kiss, but Honda didn't care.

He pulled away breathing heavily, "I love you." He said while he was still inches away from Seto's face, "I don't care whoever else you think I love because you're wrong." He sank back down onto the floor and let go of Seto's jacket, "I've been keeping it a secret for so long, letting all of the burden and all of the hurt bottle up inside of me. I don't give a damn anymore about what happens. If you fire me from my job, stop Jou from seeing me, and avoid me for the rest of your life…so be it."

Seto leaned down, holding Honda's chin in his long fingers, "Do you have any idea what you've just done? You just made me cheat on my boyfriend, Honda; on your best friend." He continued to smirk, "Did it feel good, Honda? Did you enjoy ruining both of our relationships with him? Do you honestly not care?"

For some reason, not even that deep down, Honda really didn't. He proved it and tilted his head up, kissed Seto again quickly, "If this makes me trash, then that's what I've been all along."

"I admire your aggressiveness." He pulled away from Honda, continuing his leaning on the expensive desk, "However, I will have to ask you to leave me now." The smirk that had lined his lips had disappeared and a sterner look replaced it, "I'll be seeing you at work tomorrow morning."

Honda did not know how to take Seto's behavior. The man was hiding any emotion in his body, but it looked like he was having a difficult time maintaining it. He sighed and nodded, "Of course. Bye Kaiba" He said and walked out before the other boy had time to sass him about not calling him "Mister". That was the last thing he wanted to hear.

x-x-x

"He thought _what?_" Otogi gasped. His leather clad rear was on the counter of his kitchen, a banana half unpeeled in his hand, "Oh man! This is so messed up!"

"You're telling me!" Honda held his head in his heads at the kitchen table, "What the hell is wrong with me? I acted like a…like a _woman!"_ he cried out, "I threw myself at him. Who the hell do I think I am? He's probably going to hate me forever!"

"…Speaking of being a woman." Otogi rolled his eyes, "You're being way too dramatic about this. Think of it this way…what's the most important thing to Kaiba?"

"Work."

Otogi nodded, "Exactly. He didn't fire you. That means a lot in Kaiba language." He finished unpeeling the banana and threw the peel into the trash, "You're fine."

Honda moaned, "He could have done that just to work me to the bone."

The other boy shrugged, "Maybe." He took a bite of his fruit and swallowed, "Do you think he'll tell Jou."

"Doubt it." Honda said, "Kaiba probably thinks it's none of Jou's business."

"Which it isn't when you think about it." Otogi finished his snack, "No, this is between you and the CEO. You'll be okay, Honda. The worst that could happen is…well. I don't really know."

"Death?"

"That's the spirit!" Otogi smiled warmly and slid off the counter, "Come on, Darling." He pulled Honda up out of the chair, "I think you need some shut eye."

"I suppose." Honda agreed. The two of them traveled upstairs and divided in the hallway to their respectable rooms.

When Honda was dressed and finished brushing his teeth, he had started to travel back to his room until he heard Otogi call out, "Honda?"

He poked his head into Otogi's room and asked, "What's up?"

Otogi pulled back the blankets of his bed, not looking the boy in the doorway, "If you want…you can just sleep here. You don't have to keep sneaking in and out of my room."

The brunette was surprised, "You knew?" Honda had only slept in Otogi's bed on occasions; no more than twice a week. "I was like…ninja I was so sneaky about it."

"You're not ninja when I wake up in the middle of the night and you're drooling on my pillow." Otogi laughed at his own joke as he got into bed, "Come on. I promise not to pull anything."

"You better not." Honda joined him and laid on his back just as he always did. He sighed in content and said softly, "Goodnight, Otogi."

Otogi, who curled up like a kitten against Honda's left side smiled with his eyes peacefully shut, "Goodnight, Darling."

Honda played with Otogi's hair a little as he stared up at the ceiling. It was nice being in Otogi's bed; not hiding and not being molested. He sighed again, promising himself that if he miraculously had a nightmare, he'd jump off the roof.

x-x-x

Another chapter done. Wowzers, I'm on FIRE! There was some action in this chapter as well and what am I doing with Honda and Otogi? I'll try to hurry up and let you guys know. Thanks for any feedback!


	17. Bittersweet Moments

Chapter 17 – Bittersweet Moments

Honda had always been a simple person. It didn't take much to make him happy. He never desired extravagant things and his ideal life was to live in a small apartment with a job that he didn't mind getting up in the morning for.

One of Honda's favorite little things to do in his day was to wake up with Otogi still asleep. It happened almost every morning that week, but Honda silently reveled in it. It was warm and cozy under the blankets and throughout the night, Otogi ends up traveling his way closer to Honda. It was a guilty pleasure they both shared. When they both awoke in each other arms, neither of them went any further and neither said a word.

Saturday was Anzu's Valentine's Day party. Honda was dreading to attend, but he thought it was the right thing to do. Otogi didn't bring it up until Wednesday night.

"Who are you bringing?"

Honda shrugged, "Nobody. I was planning on going stag."

He scoffed, "Honda, you _never_ go stag." he picked up the television remote and began to flip through channels, "Haven't a million girls come up to you yet?"

Honda's eyes shifted around the room, "I don't want to go with a girl."

Otogi's thumb stopped moving. He stared at the screen with disbelief for a few minutes. Slowly, his lips pulled into a grin, "You know what that means, don't you?"

"Yea." Honda laughed, running his fingers through his hair, "I'm ready."

They smiled at each other for a couple minutes, happily in silence. Eventually, they both bursted into laughter, Otogi wrapping his arms around Honda's neck, "haha! It's about time!"

x-x-x

Anzu opened her front door looking nervous but delightened all the same to greet her friends. She took their coats and showed them through the house into the living room. She had set out snacks and had music playing at a low volume.

Honda had appeared on Anzu's doorstep with Otogi in tow. Since nobody knew of Honda's living condition, it came as a shock to her, "Oh...hey guys!" she said, and then she was too worried about her own problems to go any further.

The party was enjoyable. There were games and everone had brought their dueling decks. Yugi, who was sitting on his yami's lap, giggled with glee as he beat Bakura for the third time in a row.

"Damnit Yugi! Pharoah's whispering cheats in your ear! Don't think I can't see it!" Bakura proclaimed, shaking an angry finger at Yugi's nose. Ryou, who was smiling politely, apologized for his yami's behavior.

Honda caught Ryou's eye then. The two of them had stopped talking since Honda's visit. It wasn't done on purpose; "shit happens" as Otogi had put it.

Without a word exchanged, Ryou stood and embraced his friend tightly. Honda gladly replied. They didn't care about making a spectacle of themselves. There was so much that needed to be said in that hug that Honda could have written a novel. When they broke away, Ryou smiled a smile that Honda had never seen before. It was just what Honda needed to come full circle.

Honda turned around to find that Jou had arrived with his sister holding his hand. Subconciously, Honda's eyes lingered in the doorway. He waited to see Seto walk through. He could already picture it; all black in clothing but a festive scarf would be around his neck (Jou always made him do things like that.)

However, after several minutes, there was nobody else coming into the room. Honda's brow knit together and he went over to Shizuka. He felt no shame in asking, "Where's Seto?"

She shrugged, "I don't know. Jou said he wasn't coming. That's why I'm here."

Honda's eyes went wide, "He's not?" It was a miracle; a party without watching Jou and Kaiba go at it. Honda was amazed.

Shizuka nodded, "I think he and Jou had a big fall out this morning. Jou seems fine now though."

"No he doesn't." Otogi was standing nearby, a soda in hand. He was intensely watching Jou's actions by habit, "He just disappeared into the bathroom."

Honda bit his lip. What was he going to do? Was he going to abandon his best friend while he was in need or was he going to selfishly run off and search for the one he loved? His heart ached in agony. This was too hard on him.

Shizuka and Otogi smiled, "Go Honda." Shizuka said, "I think Otogi and I can handle Brother."

"You sure?"

"Damnit Honda, you're dying to go. Anyone could tell." Otogi kissed Honda's cheek, "Hurry back before he notices."

It didn't take him anymore persuasion. Honda raced out the door, grabbing his jacket at the last minute. He tugged it on and ran as fast as his body would allow. He knew exactly where to check first. He was in luck that Anzu's house was close to the downtown area. Kaiba Corp was in sight by the time Honda sprinted around the third block. He smiled, relieved that he was almost there. He nearly avoided a car as he crossed the street. He entered the company building and completely ignored the ridiculously unprofessional blonde that still sat behind the counter. He hastily pushed the up button on the elevator. He wiped away the sweat that gathered on his forehead and, as soon as the door opened, he stepped inside, shutting the doors and making the trip up to the top.

Hotaru was at the desk when he arrived, but he didn't care. He ran right by her and yanked open the door to Kaiba's office. He was on cloud nine just getting there and when he saw Kaiba standing in front of his giant window-wall, his heart soared higher, "Seto!"

Kaiba looked over his shoulder. Was Honda imagining the corner of his lips turned up? The taller of the two turned his entire body around and held out his arms at the elbow; a sight Honda never thought he'd see. "Come here."

Honda was all too ready to do so. He lept into Kaiba's arms and held him tight. Words failed him. It was all too good to be true.

Kaiba held him, if possible, tighter, "Hiroto." he whispered softly, "I want you to know something."

Honda held his eyes shut, inhaling the smell that was Seto Kaiba; expensive cologne mixed with vanilla and cinnamon. He looked up at Kaiba and waited; anxious to hear what he had to say.

"I can't be with you."

It stabbed Honda right in the heart. He pulled away, disbelief showing through in his eyes. He took a few steps back, hitting the edge of Kaiba's desk. He shook his head, "No. Damnit, don't do that." he felt tears forming in the corner of his eyes, "DON'T FUCK WITH ME ANYMORE!" his body shook from holding in his sobs. He watched Kaiba through blurred vision. The setting sun caused Kaiba's body to have a heavenly glow. Honda's body melted with desire, but his heart turned cold. He knew he couldn't have it even if he wanted it.

Kaiba's face became blank. He approached Honda, his arms out to wrap around Honda's small waist. He held the boy close, "Cry, Hiroto."

"I won't give you the fucking satisfaction." Honda said through gritted teeth. He tried to push away again, but Kaiba held him too close.

The taller boy sighed, "I have to be with Jou."

"Why?" Honda said harshly, "What's so freakin special about him?"

"He...he's not like everybody else." Kaiba sat down in his office chair, looking up at Honda was tired eyes, "He's emotionally attached to me in a way that I can't pry him off." he sighed, "He's not in love; he's obsessed."

This news startled Honda. Obsessive was not something that came to mind when he thought of his best friend. However, as he continued to think about it, it made sense. All Jou ever talked about was Kaiba; before and after they started being together. Jou was always clinging to him and dressed him up and got angry when Kaiba worked. Honda was speechless.

"If I was to break his heart, and be with you, it would kill him. You know him better, Hiroto." Kaiba said, "You know he'd do just about anything."

"This is unreal." Honda shook his head, "Jou can't be that stuck on you. He can get through it; even if he is with someone like you. There's other people."

"I don't think it has to do with me. I have a feeling he's been like this for a very long time." Kaiba pulled Honda into his lap, making the boy straddle him in the chair, "He's broken and I don't know how to fix him. All I know is that what I want to do will just ruin him more." he sighed, "Damn you Honda." he ran his fingers through the other boy's hair, "Everything was fine until you opened your big mouth."

Honda scowled, "You think having Jou at your side every second of the day is 'fine'?"

"It's really none of your business. You were the one that wanted to know." Kaiba slid the back of his hand down Honda's cheek and held his chin, "What do you want from me?" his face turned a little angry, "What is there I can do? You and I can never be."

"Then why am I in your lap?" Honda asked, without anything better to say, "Shouldn't Jou be here?"

"Jou doesn't belong there."

"I do?"

"Why do you love me?"

Honda stopped short. Of all the questions to ask at that moment. He swallowed and replied, "Why don't you love _me_?"

"I don't feel love." Kaiba responded quickly, resting his face on one of his fists, "It's just something I stopped doing. Love is powerful, Hiroto, but it is just a feeling. If you have the power to overcome it, you can easily shut that feeling out."

"How can someone sound so smart, but be so stupid?" Honda laughed short, "You can't not love. That's inhuman."

"Then I'm not."

Honda smiled a little, sighing deeply. There was no winning. He leaned down and claimed Kaiba's lips; noting how Kaiba did not kiss him back. He pulled away but let his lips linger on Kaiba's faintly, "I'll never grow tired of stealing kisses from you."

Kaiba's face was cold, "Everytime you kiss me, you're killing Jou."

Honda's expression mirrored Kaiba's, "Then call me a murderer."

"I didn't think trash could kill." he smirked.

Honda kissed Kaiba once more, "Then I guess I'm not trash."

"No, you're definately something else." Honda was pleased to see the amusement in the other boy's eyes. With slow hands, he pulled at Kaiba's jacket, sliding it off his broad shoulders.

Kaiba lifted his head from his fist. His eyebrow arched up, "You sure you should be doing that?"

Honda locked eyes with Kaiba, responding in an innocent tone, "No." he closed his eyes and covered Kaiba's lips with his own. This time he felt the heat from Kaiba warm his lips. Honda moaned as a strong hand traveled under his shirt and over his abdomen. He dug his fingers into Kaiba's silky hair and held on for the ride. This was probably the last time he'd be able to do this and he was going to milk it for everything it was worth.

x-x-x

As Honda traveled back to Anzu's house, he felt numb. He insisted on walking back, although Kaiba offered him a ride. He dug his hands deep into his pockets and watched the ground as he walked. Regret was the farthest thing in Honda's heart. He did not feel anything. Though, what Kaiba had said about Jou still buzzed in his ears. Was Jou really that deeply infatuated with Kaiba? Was there no way out?

_"He's broken and I don't know how to fix him."_ Honda knew that sounded familiar. He perked up, seeing Anzu's house in the distance. He knew that inside, there was a person with all the answers. He wasn't thinking of Jou or Otogi anymore. His mind was set on finding a certain spirit that knew how to fix broken dolls.

x-x-x

Chapter 17's a wrap! Wowzers it's been a long time since I updated. I'm sorry again! This is getting quite interesting, isn't it? I apologize for the OOCness of Jou, but in a way, I think this will turn out right. As for Honda and Seto, things really heated up, don't you think? How far do you think they actually went? Don't worry, I won't keep it a secret for much longer. See you in Chapter 18!

-Rain


	18. Truth be Told

Chapter 18- Truth Be Told

Honda didn't see anyone when he walked back into Anzu's house. He knew there were other people in the room and he knew that there was music blaring and video games being played but everyone was a blur. Honda only wanted to see one person and he wasn't in the livingroom when he entered the room.

Otogi was there, chatting away with Shizuka casually. He saw Honda and waved, "Hey!"

Honda went over to him and asked, "Where's Bakura?"

"Ryou? He's in the kitchen."

Honda shook his head, "No. I need Bakura."

Both Shizuka's and Otogi's eyebrows raised, "Umm he's out back having a cigerette I think." Shizuka said, pointing towards the back door. "You okay, Honda?" she asked, "You look all pale."

"Fine." Honda answered and ran out the door. He found Bakura laying in the grass, a cigerette contently placed between his lips. "Bakura!"

The spirit didn't look away from the night sky, "Don't yell. I can hear you from a mile away. What's your problem _this_ time, Kid?" he inhaled the cigerette with his eyes closed in bliss.

Honda dug his hands in his pockets and walked closer, "How did you fix Ryou?"

Bakura laughed, coughing a little on the smoke in his lungs. He sat up and smirked evily at Honda, "You can't 'fix' something like that, Honda. It's out of your control. Ryou's too fucked up."

"This isn't about Ryou." Honda said, "It's about Jou."

"The blonde?" Bakura asked, knitting his brows together, "Well, that's a little different, I suppose." he exhaled smoke through his nose, "Okay, Kid, what do you want to know?"

Honda sat down in the grass beside the spirit, "You said to me that Ryou was 'broken'. What did you mean?"

"That sort of stuff is confidential. I don't just anybody that. Ryou's a pansy, but he's still my lighter half and what I know about him isn't shit that I can just broadcast on the news." Bakura smirked, "Unless you can convince me otherwise."

"I know you love him."

Bakura's smirk left him, "You play a hard game." he pulled out his box of cigerettes and offered them to Honda, "Fine, but if you tell anyone, I'll skin you alive and leave your insides for the cats."

Honda nodded, silently taking a cigerette from the box, "Fine." he held the stick to his lips.

Bakura took out his lighter and held it for the other boy, "Have you ever smoked before?"

"Always interested me, but I never had a reason to really start." Honda inhaled enough to light the stick and quickly exhaled, not wanting to rush into his new hobby. He looked up at the stars, "Stop putzing around. Tell me about Ryou."

The yami nodded, "You have a one track mind. It's amusing." he smirked again and sighed, "Did you know that Ryou used to be with Marik?"

"Marik? You mean Malik's yami?" Honda's eyes went wide.

"Well aren't me smart?" Bakura rolled his eyes, "Yes, well, they were a very unlikely couple and it seemed as if Ryou had to be mad to be with Marik." he blew smoke into the air, "Funny thing about people. When they've been alone long enough, they'll do anything to recieve some sort of attention. That's what Marik gave him; attention." he shrugged, "Shit happened and eventually Marik got tired of Ryou. Ryou wasn't an innocent little boy anymore. He was forced on by Marik so many times that it just wasn't fun for him after a while. Ryou was beginning to like the pain that Marik put upon him. Ryou was falling in, dare I say it, _love_." Bakura shuddered at the word.

Honda nodded, feeling more relaxed with the cigerette between his fingers, "So, when Marik dumped him, what happened to Ryou?"

"He went into a depression, of course." Bakura said it as if it was no big deal, "He was a bloody mess. He didn't leave his room for two weeks. I'd have to climb into his window to bring him food. He never touched it either. I don't know why I even bothered."

Honda snuffed out his cigarette, "What happened after that?"

"He met you." Bakura handed Honda another cigarette, surprising himself with his charity, "I forced his ass out of bed one day and made him go to the store. I said 'Ryou, you lazy shit, I've been feeding you and keeping the house clean and the only thing I ask of you is to go to the store and buy the food.' He got up and when he came back, he was acting as if Marik never existed." he sat up and looked at Honda with umber eyes, "I never figured out what the hell you did to him." he glanced away, "Don't tell anyone, but I'm grateful."

Honda thought back to that day. What _had_ he done? He vaguely remembered seeing Ryou there. He shrugged and Bakura and said, "All I remember was smiling at him. He invited me to sleepover a week later. That's all."

Bakura blinked, "You smiled?"

"...yea." Honda inhaled his smoke, "Maybe that's all he really needed. The kid needs love, Bakura. No one in his life has given him that. I guess..." he bit his lip, "I guess that's all people ever really need." He got up off the grass and brushed off his rear, "Thanks, Bakura. You really helped."

Nodding, Bakura laid back down into the grass, "You owe me two cigarettes and a dead cat." he laughed darkly as Honda's eyes went wide, "Relax. I'll get the cat myself." he waved Honda away, "Now leave before I do something nice again."

Honda smiled, "Bye, Bakura." he said and returned inside the house to find Anzu crying in the corner of the back porch. He went over with concern in his eyes, "Hey, Anzu? What happened?" he dug in his pocket and found a tissue. The girl hiccuped and took the tissue. She held it to her mouth as she sobbed. Honda looked into the party and saw Isis fuming next to her younger brother. Honda frowned, "Aw Anzu, I'm sorry. You know, you'll find someone someday. I'm sure of it. We all need some love, and you have enough with me and our friends. Don't forget that, okay?"

Anzu nodded, sobbing softly, "Thanks, Honda. I'm so glad someone cares." she wiped her eyes and stood up, fixing her skirt, "I guess I should just chin up. I'm always telling you guys to do that."

"That's the spirit." Honda smiled, rubbing her arm, "Come on. Let's both get back." he led her back into the party, looking a little happier; the weight on their shoulders a little lighter. Anzu went upstairs to clean her face and Honda walked over to Otogi and Shizuka. Shizuka looked over Honda's shoulder to find her brother coming out of the bathroom. She smiled for a brief moment before her face became stiff with horror, "Jou! Don't!"

Honda turned around to see Jou's fist a milisecond before it connected with his cheek. The party immediately stopped, everyone watching the blonde's rage above Honda's fallen body. Honda started wide eyed at his friend, too surprised to say anything. All he could think about was how Seto and Jou had fought earlier today, and Honda had forgotten to ask why.

"Jou, what the hell man?" Malik called out, grabbing Jou's arm just as it came up to strike again.

"What the hell? WHAT THE HELL?" Jou shouted, "You should be asking Honda that! THAT FUCKING BACKSTABBER!" he struggled against Malik and now Yami's grip, "I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY BEST FRIEND, HONDA! HOW COULD YOU GO AND TAKE MY BOYFRIEND?"

The whole room gasped, Honda stood up, his head down low, "Jou..."

"We tell each other everything!" Jou said, tears going down his cheeks, "You didn't even tell me you were gay! Why? Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you tell _anyone?_"

"Nobody knew!" Honda fought back, "I'm sorry, Jou! I really am! Yes, I love Seto Kaiba!" the whole room gasped again, "I don't know what else to tell you!" he looked away, "I've spent months sick and underweight because I was stressing out about making you and everyone else happy. I didn't tell anything I was gay because I didn't think anybody could handle it. Honda, the one that gets all of the girls, was really looking over their shoulders to check out the closest guy. Jou..." he bit his lip, "Hit me, hate me, do whatever you want to me, but I can't hide how I feel about your boyfriend any more. I love him, but it doesn't matter. He's all yours." he added the last part and immediately wished he could take it back. It was bad enough to lie to his best friend once.

Jou had calmed down a little bit, but he was still angered, "You won't pull anything to ruin our relationship?"

"If I was going to, I would have a long time ago, now wouldn't I?" Honda smiled, "Come on, Man." he opened his arms, "It's cool."

Jou nodded and smiled, embracing his friend. The rest of the room, who had been silently watching cheered at the rekindled friendship. Honda squeezed his best friend tight, knowing that any other surprises could kill any chances at looking at tomorrow without a black eye; or worse.

x-x-x

_Sorry Jou._

A week later, Honda stood in front of Seto Kaiba. The two of them were standing very still in the CEO's office, not saying a word. Before Kaiba could say anything, Honda pulled him down, claiming his lips in a furious, passionate, kiss. Kaiba did not disagree, pulling Honda closer. The two couldn't satisfy their hunger. With each kiss came another and their hands could not find a place to rest of each other's bodies.

When they broke apart for air, Kaiba would always look at Honda with an expressionless face. He would have his lips parted to pant and would constantly run his thumb over Honda's lips. Everytime Honda would make eye contact with him, he'd look away. Honda didn't confront it; he didn't want to jepordise his new...what could he call it? Relationship? Affair? Well whatever it was, Honda was not going to ruin it. Kaiba was his; even for just a short while.

Kaiba sat Honda on his desk and kissed him softly, "I think taking you on my desk would not be the best way to break you in. Especially when you know the other events that have occured here."

Honda made a face, "That's a bad idea." he smiled and kissed Kaiba again, "One day, I'll lay in your bed with you."

Kaiba smiled, "We can go right now." he pulled the car keys out of his pocket.

The other boy took hold of Kaiba's hands and kissed them, shaking his head, "Not today. I'm still not ready."

"What's stopping you? Isn't that what you wanted?"

Honda nodded, "Yes...it was." he looked out the window of the office and sighed, seeing the sun setting in the horizon. He had saved himself for Kaiba all this time. Why was he suddenly saying no? He looked up at Kaiba and smiled, "Come on, my lunch break is over in ten minutes."

The smallest smile gathered on Kaiba's lips as he bent down and pressed his lips against Honda's. He broke apart just as he placed a small box in Honda's hands. "Then I'd better get you this."

Honda blinked, looking down at the light box, "What is that?"

"Merry Christmas..." Kaiba tapped Honda's nose, "I was going to give it to you, but didn't have the nerve."

Lifting the lid, Honda peeked inside to find a silver ring with a band of emerald going around the center. He gasped and slipped held it in the palm of his hand, "It's gorgeous."

Kaiba chuckled and picked it up, slipping it onto Honda's finger, "Perfect fit." he reached up around his neck and freed the dragon charm was hiding underneath his shirt, "Just like this."

Honda gasped, "You wear it?"

"Everyday." Kaiba kissed Honda's forehead, "You underestimated me, Hiroto."

Honda wrapped his arms around his lover and laughed, "I guess I did." he closed his eyes and stayed in bliss for a while. With luck, nobody would question where he went to for lunch.

x-x-x

Chapter 18 is over! This was a really messed up chapter. Forbidden love between Seto and Honda...looks like this fic is far from over. haha! See you around!


	19. Burning

I have to admit, chapter 18 was rushed and I suppose a lot of people didn't understand what exactly happened. If anyone remembers, before the party, Jou appeared without Kaiba because the two of them got into a fight. The fight, which was hinted to near the end of the chapter, had to do with Honda loving Kaiba; which caused Jou's bitchy behavior. I hope I've answered the questions I got. I'm sorry about rushing. I promise not to do it again, but that means you people will have to be patient. Happy reading!

Chapter 19 - Burning

The snow was plenty done with by the time Honda had anything else to worry about. He had said goodbye to Otogi by the end of March with his stuff under one arm.

"You take care of yourself, you hear? There's always a bed for you here if you need it." Otogi said, brushing the side of Honda's cheek.

Honda nodded, smiling warmly, "Thanks, Otogi. You really saved me." he kissed the green eyed beauty lightly, "I'll see you around." he waved and walked down the stairs of the apartment building and over to his motorcycle.

Otogi sighed sadly, leaning against his front door as he watched the other boy drive away, "Thank _you_, Honda." he said softly, seeing the bike turn around the corner and out of sight, "I just wish you could see how much I really cared." he pushed his bangs out of his eyes and walked back into his apartment.

x-x-x

Honda's mother was more than excited to see her son finally home at last. He had called her religiously everyday but never visited. She was pleased to see how healthy he looked as she hugged him tight, "Oh Hiroto! It's so good to see you!"

Honda's smile almost split his face into two, "It's great to see you too, Ma." he kissed her cheek and walked back into his home. He felt the warmth that he had missed. The house still smelled of cinnamon. He went into his room to put down his belongings. His mother followed, "I've kept it neat for you. I promise I didn't snoop through anything."

"Thanks, Ma." Honda said, putting his bag on his bed. He unzipped it and asked, "What time is dinner?"

"Soon. I made your favorite."

Honda's laugh was light yet full of feeling, "I knew you would." his mother left and Honda began unpacking his things. The phone rang and Honda leaned over to grab the one on his desk, "Hello?"

"You tell anyone I called and I will stuff your inners into a doll and make a jacket for it with your skin."

Honda gagged, "You're disgusting, Bakura."

"Are you going to tell anyone I called?"

"No."

"Then that's all that matters." Bakura inhaled deeply. Honda assumed he was smoking again, "I asked Ryou to show me how this damn thing worked to call for food. I found your number on the refrigerator."

"I'm flattered." Honda said, throwing clothes in a basket to be washed for later, "Is there a reason you went to so much trouble?"

Bakura paused, "How do I tell Ryou...you know."

Honda laughed, "You want to tell Ryou you love him?"

"Laugh one more time and I'll make sure you'll never be able to laugh again."

Honda stifled his chuckles and said, "Well, why don't you just pin him to a wall and tell him?"

"That'll scare him."

"You sure? He dated Marik."

"...I suppose."

"Just tell him so. Even if it just comes out of your mouth. You're not good at being romantic anyways." he sighed, "its not hard, Bakura. For a tough guy like you, this should be cake." Honda threw his empty bag back into the closet, "Call me and let me know how it goes."

"Fine." Bakura grunted, "Hey, are you fucking Kaiba?"

Honda's eyebrows shot up, "How did you know?"

"I didn't. You just told me." Bakura cackled, "Oh what a glorious moment! Looks like I have a little secret on you now." his laughter stopped abruptly, like it was simple to end his amusement, "This plan better work, Kid, or else you're secret will be plastered around the city."

Honda bit his lip, "If it doesn't, we'll try something else."

Bakura gave a short laugh, "Right. See you, Kid."

"You're welcome, Bakura." and with that, Honda hung up the phone. He sighed and laid down on his own bed. He smiled and closed his eyes, feeling the nostalgia. He wondered if Kaiba would ever lay in this bed with him.

_He sat up and it was if by magic, he saw Kaiba leaning against the doorframe._

_"How did you find me?"_

_"I have my resources." Kaiba said, walking slowly over to the bed. He sat down and stared down at Honda with his piercing blue eyes, "So, what do you want to do now that I'm here?"_

_Honda, with shaky hands, ran his fingers through Kaiba's hair. The familiar silky texture made him melt, "Take me."_

_Kaiba pressed his thumb against Honda's lips, running it over the bottom. He connected eyes with Honda, taking a deep breath, "You sure?"_

_"More than ever." Honda's hands crept down and he began to undo Kaiba's belt, "I need you now."_

_Kaiba gently pushed Honda onto the bed, climbing on top of him like a predator hunting prey, "How much do you need me?"_

_"Too much." Honda moaned as Kaiba's lip traveled along Honda's neck, "Kaiba, please! Just fuck me!"_

_Kaiba laughed and finished undoing his pants. He undid Honda's as well and pulled them completely off. Honda felt the heat practically steaming off of Kaiba's arousal as he positioned himself. Honda closed his eyes blinded by too much bliss to want to keep them open._

"HONDA! Dinner's ready!" Honda's mother's voice rang down the hallway and through Honda's bedroom door.

Honda's eyes snapped open and he groaned in irritation. He looked down and saw his hand had found a home around his manhood. Removing it and fixing up his pants, he pulled his shirt over the bulge and opened his bedroom door. He walked into the bathroom to wash up and shivered the moment he walked through the door. A lot of thoughts had happened in this bathroom; a lot of thinking. He remembered the cold showers that he used to take when his desire for Kaiba became too much to bear. He remembered washing his face with water and chanting his mantra to stay under control. He looked in the mirror, seeing himself for the first time since he moved out of Otogi's. The boy had removed his mirrors so Honda could not hate his appearance or break one to harm himself. Honda smiled, seeing the youthful face and his brown eyes had become filled with warmth again. It was nothing like the sickly green boy he recalled.

Satisfied, Honda washed his hands and walked off into the kitchen, ready to eat until his stomach begged him to stop.

x-x-x

School was strange now. Honda didn't know how to really react towards anything. He and Jou were back on track, but every time Jou came around to play, Kaiba would be attached to him in some way. Yugi and the others never really minded, but it burned Honda's every shred of sanity. He would feel the energy through Seto's eyes. They both wanted to grab each other, kiss each other all over, and drown themselves in a lustful passion without caring about who was watching or what was happening around them. Honda didn't know which was worse: being in love with Kaiba in secret, or being _with_ Kaiba in secret. Did he really have what he wanted now?

Honda didn't want to think about it anymore. He attended his classes and focused on his studies. There were exams coming up and Honda needed an outstanding grade or else he'd be in a lot of trouble. Though, as the weeks went by, Honda's mind couldn't stay focused.

"Explain how World War II affected the Japanese economy." Otogi read the index card carefully. He peered through his bangs at Honda from across the kitchen table, "Honda?"

Honda was staring out the window, a chopstick that poked out of his mouth moved as he chewed on it. He blinked and looked over at Otogi, "Hm?" he spit out the chopstick, "Damn, I'm sorry. What was the question?"

"I give up." Otogi said, throwing the index cards onto the table in frustration, "What the hell is wrong with you? You've been acting like this for days. It's not Kaiba again, is it?"

Honda shrugged. He was used to telling Otogi everything, but this time, he couldn't bring himself to do it. He sighed and said, "I don't think it's anything major. I'm just bored."

"Bored of what?"

"I don't know."

Otogi stood from the table and grabbed his jacket, "Come on."

Honda blinked, "I thought we were studying."

"Obviously, you can't. Get your coat. It's windy out."

Honda nodded, "O-okay." He stood from the table and tugged on the jacket on the chair behind him. He followed Otogi out the front door and down the street. Honda was still confused, "What are we doing?"

"Walking. You know, where you move your feet forward to go somewhere."

"Shut up." Honda laughed along with Otogi as they stepped out into the spring breeze. It wasn't warm enough to spend the whole day outside, but it was nice to wear a light jacket and go around the block. Honda smiled, enjoying this weather instead of the frigid snow. If anything, snow only brought him trouble.

Otogi jammed his hands in his pockets, "So?"

"So what?" Honda said back, looking up at the sky. The clouds were moving quickly, racing to get away from the wind.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Honda shrugged, "I'm just tired today." He looked down at the sidewalk as he lied.

"You said that yesterday." Otogi pointed out, "Did you get some sleep?"

"A couple hours."

"How much is 'a couple'?" Otogi eyed him skeptically.

Another shrug, "I don't know. Four? Five?"

Otogi let out a long sigh, "I don't understand what's happening, but it's not my job to pry." His voice seemed to get softer, "I just thought that best friends tell each other everything."

Honda blinked. Best friends? When did that happen? Honda and Jou were best friends. As time went on, did Honda switch out Jou for Otogi? It was an accident. He never meant to do it, but here they were, walking side by side in Domino City. Honda was in awe. Honda hadn't even thought of Jou since the day Jou attacked Honda at the party. The anger in Jou's eyes seemed to burn right through Honda's heart and ruined every good memory between the two of them.

Honda began to tremble a little, "How did this happen?" He stopped walking in the middle of the sidewalk and stayed down at the angry cement. The sidewalk dealt with the agony of people walking all over it day in and day out. It had the bear the spills of drinks and the litter. A handful of months out of the year, the sidewalk were buried by snow and it must scream in pain when people who have no patience jam their shovels into it to clear it. Honda could sympathize with it. He looked out over at the cars on the street and felt that they didn't understand. Nobody understood what the sidewalk had to go through.

Everyone was a monster and Honda couldn't take it. He didn't look back at Otogi as he climbed the guarder railing that divided the street with the sidewalk and didn't hesitate to walk right into the middle of the road.

"HONDA!" Otogi's screams the only thing heard over the sounds of the screeching rubber. The stench of burning tires could be smelt from a mile away. The little blue sports car was trying its hardest to understand, but Honda had not reached it in time. Honda could not do anything more but close his eyes and wait for the impending end.

x-x-x

Whoa. What a fun ending, wasn't it? Don't worry though, it totally isn't over! I swear it! I promise not to disappear again. I'll bring Chapter 20 soon!


	20. I Could Never See

20 Chapters and over 100 reviews later and I have this. What is to become of Honda? I have no idea. I give you chapter 20 and maybe we'll figure it out together.

Chapter 20 – I Could Never See

"What was he thinking?"

"Is he sick?"

"Is he going to live?"

"Otogi, how did this happen?"

The voices were very faint. Honda couldn't not make out who the owner of the voices were. He felt heavy and if he moved, his whole body would ache more than anything he had ever felt before. He stayed still and continued to listen to the sounds. There was a beep and a buzz and someone running quickly yelling, "We need Doctor Hasumomo stat!" A flicker of a memory came back to Honda and he remembered. He got hit by the car and survived.

Honda could feel his friends' presence in the room, but for some reason, it still felt empty. Not everyone was there. He heard the soft sigh of Yugi and a sob somewhere far away. Honda's heart felt even heavier as he heard Otogi say, "No. I can't right now!" through his tears.

_What had I done?_

It was the first time Honda had ever been in the hospital for himself. The last time he was in one was for Shizuka. Shizuka…was she here? Honda stayed still again and tried to listen for her soft voice or for her sweet smell to linger to his nose. He heard nothing new and smelt nothing sweet. He felt like crying inside. There was no one here that could comfort him. If anything, they'd only make him feel worse.

"Whoa. What a big bouquet."

A voice that Honda had never heard before said, "They're for someone named Hiroto?"

Yugi spoke, "That's him right over there. Who are they from?"

"I don't know. I just deliver them."

"What does the card say, Yugi?" his yami asked.

"It just says 'with much fondness.' The handwriting looks really grown up. Maybe a relative?"

"Could be."

Honda's heart swelled. It was Kaiba who sent them, he just knew it. Honda laughed inside. _"With much fondness?" That jerk stole my line._

He felt himself get tired again and instead of opening his eyes and letting everyone know he was alright, he went back to sleep. He hoped that when he woke up again, he'd have better luck.

x-x-x

It was much more still when Honda awoke again. He heard no one and there was no harsh light coming through his eyelids. Everything was quiet. Honda felt it was safe to open his eyes. It hurt at first, but Honda adjusted quickly. He looked around and saw that he was not in his own room. There was another patient a couple beds away. He was fast asleep and had bandages over his eyes. Honda did not grow curious as to why he might be there. Instead, his attention turned to a figure who sat elegantly in the low back chair in the corner. The lighting was dark, but Honda could never mistake it for anyone else.

Honda sat up quickly, his voice a soft breath, "Seto." His eyes slammed shut tight as the pain in his body grew alert. It attacked him like a tiger and had no mercy. Honda immediately, held himself around the chest, shaking uncontrollably.

"I'd lay back down if I were you." Kaiba said softly, climbing out of his chair slowly. He made no effort to rush to Honda's side, but Honda figured as much. Kaiba knew there was nothing serious about Honda's condition and did not worry about little things.

Honda laid back down and he smiled warmly as Kaiba sat down at the foot of his bed, "You're here."

"I'm just as surprised as you are." Kaiba still spoke with power when his tone was soft, "Where does it hurt?"

"Mostly my chest."

"That would be the result of broken ribs, Darling." Kaiba reached out and placed his hand on Honda's leg, "You're lucky that other than a couple bumps and bruises, that's all you have." Through the moonlight from the window, Honda could see Kaiba's lips turn up into a smirk, "If you want to kill yourself, I suggest you run in front of a car that isn't already slowing down for a stop light."

Honda blushed, "I didn't mean to kill myself."

"That what the hell are you running into the middle of the street for?"

"I don't know." Honda said, looking away from the man of his dreams.

The bed shifted as Kaiba moved. He was now leaning over Honda, their faces only a couple inches apart, "Were you trying to kill me too?"

Honda's eyes went wide. How could Kaiba say such a thing? Though, at the same time, was it true? Was Honda really just trying to end the drama? Everything that had happened, Honda didn't want to deal with it anymore. He hadn't even heard from Jou and, as much as he wished he could take it all back, he had replaced Jou with someone who was completely different. Honda felt tears burning his eyes. It was all because of Kaiba. If only Honda didn't love him. Maybe he wouldn't be in this mess. Honda had never blamed Kaiba before, but now, he was starting to see that it was his existence that made him hurt so much.

"I hate you." Honda said softly, tears sliding down his cheeks in frustration and desperation, "Why do I love you?"

Kaiba leaned down and kissed Honda's forehead, "I question that myself. Why do you love me? Why does anyone love me? Why would anyone love you? Nobody can answer that. It's a different explanation for everyone you ask. I could never answer a question only you know the answer to."

Honda's hand slowly came up, shaking from the lack of strength. He placed it on Kaiba's cheek and was please to see Kaiba's hand come up and hold it steady. The two of them sat there for the longest time in silence. A cough from the man with bandaged eyes caused Honda to jump and Kaiba only glared in his general direction. Kaiba stood up, "I should go. Jou will wonder."

"He never came to visit."

Kaiba nodded, "I know. He has his reasons, Hiroto. Don't be angry."

"What reason is that? Does he want to kill me in my sleep or something? Are you here to kill me too?"

"No. He's in another room down the hall."

Honda blinked, "What?" his eyebrows raised in horror, "What for?"

"Himself, Stupid." Kaiba kissed Honda's lips softly, "Don't worry. We don't need another person worrying right now."

Honda reached up and grabbed Kaiba, ignoring the pain in his chest. He sat up and pulled his and Kaiba's foreheads together, his eyes closed so he wouldn't have to see Kaiba's eyes as he cried again, "Seto…I love you. Jou and I do not see eye to eye anymore but I still love him too. Don't hide things from me. Promise me that?"

Kaiba's sigh was shaky, "Hiroto, I cannot promise anything. You know me. I was born to be a liar." He gently pushed Honda back into his pillows and left the room without another word.

x-x-x

Several other people had come to visit Honda over the next couple of days. Honda's mother came the very next morning. She was not crying, but she looked as if she had been on the way over. She was pleased to see Honda was well and said that she would have his bed ready at home for him. Honda felt that he was, again, lucky to be her son.

Ryou had come that afternoon with his eyes filled with tears, "I just heard!" he cried as he ran into the room and latched himself to Honda's arm. His yami, who was bitter that he could not smoke in the hospital, said that he had forgotten to tell Ryou when he had gotten the message. Honda was not shocked by the news and told Ryou that it was alright.

Shizuka was still missing. Honda had even called her once and she did not answer. He laid in his bed for the next two days wondering where she could be. He then thought that maybe she had gone back to her mother's, but, during the last night of his stay at the hospital, Honda had remembered what Kaiba had said. Jou was in the hospital too. Was he still here?

Honda was well enough to find out. In the moonlight, he stood from his bed, wincing in dull pain. From behind him he heard a voice, "Where are you going?" He turned around to see it was the man with the bandaged eyes. He said softly, "I'm going for a walk."

The man, who was sitting up in his bed, his face facing the wall in front of him, "You seem troubled, Young man. I sensed a heavy cloud of confusion and tension when you are awake."

Honda walked slowly towards the door, "It's nothing important. I just have a lot on my mind." He didn't even look at the elderly man as he opened the door to the room.

"You should not worry about little things." The man croaked, "In a place like this, time is of the essence and there's only so much of it to go around."

Honda nodded, "Thanks." Was all he would say and he closed the door behind him. He looked out into the corridor for the first time. It was long and dim. Almost all the doors were closed and had no clue as to which one his friend was in. He looked left and then right. Which way should he go? He remembered the night Kaiba came to see him and how the billionaire had gone right. Slowly putting one step in front of the other, Honda turned that way and began his journey.

He read the folders outside the doors, glancing at the names that they belonged to. None of them were Jou. Honda was discouraged. Five doors, ten doors, how many more would he have to read? He got to the eleventh door and his nose was hit with a tender, sweet smell: Shizuka. Honda smiled and looked at the folder to double check. There, in someone's messy scrawl, it said _Jounouchi Katsuya_. Honda took a deep breath, preparing himself for anything that he might see. With a confident hand, he opened the door and stepped in.

"Jou?" The only sound he heard was the beeping from the heart monitor. He stepped farther inside, seeing the figure lying in his bed. He asked again, "Jou?"

The blonde turned his head to face his friend, "Honda?"

"What's up, Man?" Honda asked, coming to the side of the bed. From the moonlight, Honda could see that Jou was very pale and he looked tired. He looked Jou up and down and couldn't see a thing wrong with him, "Why are you in here?"

Jou shook his head, "It's nothing important. How you doin'?" he said with a small smile, "Seto told me you ran in front of a car? Why would you do something stupid like that?"

Honda shrugged, "It seemed like a good idea at the time."

Jou nodded, "Yea… I know the feeling." He placed a hand subconsciously over his wrist. He asked quietly, "Have you ever…" he stumbled in his words, "Ever wanted to just escape from everything?"

"Oh yea. Definitely." Honda nodded with a knowing smile.

"Yea." His voice suddenly wavered, "My whole life…I've felt like that. With my mom and Shizuka, my grades, not having a job, not being a great duelist…" he wiped his nose with the sleeve of his hospital gown, "I've never felt like I belonged or that I was doing something right," his tone was suddenly angry, "but I always tried to do the right thing. I never gave up!" his hot tears made trails of steam down his cheeks and onto his blankets, "It's not fair! It isn't fair, Honda! I'm not ready to die yet!" he collapsed into Honda's arms, "I can't die…not until I do the right thing."

Honda's eyes went wide and he held the blonde in his arms. _Dying_? There's just no possible way that this could be happening! Honda squeezed Jou tight, "Jou…what's wrong with you?"

The clearing of someone's throat caused the both of them to look over towards the door. A disgruntled nurse stood with her fists on her hips, "It's time for another visit to the doctor, Mr. Jounouchi."

Honda blinked, "Visit to the doctor? It's barely four in the morning." he looked down at Jou. The boy was very quiet and wouldn't look at Honda in the eye.

The nurse nodded, "Yes well the doctor came in especially for Jou and we have to make sure that heart of his is going to pull through during the operation." She frowned deeply at Honda, "Shouldn't you be in a bed?"

Honda looked down at his hospital gown and gulped, "uh…yea. I wanted to uh…" he lied quickly, "wish Jou luck. C-can you give us a minute?"

The nurse rolled her eyes. She obviously had to deal with this more than once a day. She clicked her tongue off the roof of her mouth, "You have exactly one minute." She tapped her watch and stepped out of the room.

Honda barely waited until she was gone, "You have a bad heart?"

Jou started to cry again, "I was born with it. I didn't want to tell anyone. Seto didn't want to bother people. He said that I'd live through it and there would be no problem." He hiccupped from not being able to breathe through his sobs, "God, Honda. I- I just can't believe this is actually happening. This can't be happening."

Honda could only hug Jou tight again, "Don't worry, Jou. It'll be fine. You're going to be alright. When's your operation?"

Jou was very quiet, "Later in the morning. Will you come see me in the afternoon?" he looked like a small child then. His eyes were wide and vulnerable. He held onto Honda as if he was holding tight onto the edge his mother's dress and was never letting go.

"Sure." He smiled a small smile. He felt the sun's warmth as it crept through the window. He kissed the top of Jou's head and said, "Jou?"

"Hm?" Jou's face was buried in Honda's chest.

"No matter what has happened or will happen, you'll always be my best friend. I love you, Man."

Jou gave a hearty laugh, "Dude, don't be all mushy. I'll see you soon." And for that brief moment, it was if Jou was never in a hospital bed. Honda felt like they were on the street corner looking around for some spare change for the arcade. They weren't in hospital gowns, but, instead, wore their school uniforms, sneaking peeks up the skirts of unsuspecting girls. Honda was finally remembering the love he had for the blonde. If seemed as if their friendship was blooming again; blossoming like morning glories when the sun kissed their buds.

The nurse came back in just as the two boys let go of their embrace, "I gave you two minutes and nothing more. We must be going now."

Honda nodded as he watched Jou get taken away. He stood in the empty hospital and he closed his eyes. He held his hands together tightly and don't something he hadn't done for as long as he could remember. He prayed.

_Someone up there, please, take better care of Jou than I did. I don't pray like I should and I don't act as I should, but please, don't take him away from me just yet. I'm not done having a best friend._

x-x-x

It's not proven that Jou has a bad heart. I just made it up for a really interesting plot. No, I couldn't come up with something better. If anything, this _is_ the something better. I'll have chapter 21 as soon as I can. Take care!


	21. It's Only in my Head

I'm noticed a complete lack in feedback lately? Is everyone on vacation or do you guys just hate what I've done to my fic? Let me know. I'll try to fix any problems you have. I love you guys too much not to.

Chapter 21 – It's Only in My Head

Honda was signed out of the hospital at nine the next morning. His mother was waiting for him in front of the sign out desk. She looked better than the last time Honda had seen her. She had not been crying, but instead had a warm smile on her face, "How you feeling, Kiddo?" she kissed his cheek with a mother's gentle care. She looked a little skeptical about seeing Honda being wheeled out by a nurse.

Honda smiled back, "I'm great. Don't worry about the wheelchair. It's just so I don't trip and sue the hospital or something. I'm perfectly fine." It was true. He was feeling physically fine. However, his mind was having a harder time getting back to "fine". Jou was being operated on at that exact moment. Honda couldn't think of anything else.

"Well, I borrowed the neighbor's car so you wouldn't have to walk home in your condition. Let's go home, shall we?"

"Gee, Ma. You didn't have to do that." Honda felt a little embarrassed and a tad guilty for making his mother go to such lengths to make him comfortable.

"Nonsense." His mother said as she picked up his suitcase, "My job is to make sure you're in safe hands." She walked beside him as the nurse led Honda out the door in his wheelchair, making sure not to run over too many bumps in the sidewalk.

The drive home was quiet. Honda's mother did not bring up very much because of his condition. However, she didn't fail to notice the anxiety in her son's eyes, "Hiroto?" she gave that tone.

He shook his head, continuing his staring out the window, "It's nothing, Ma."

"Don't give me that." She said as she parked the car on the side of the road, "I'm not moving this car until you tell me what's wrong."

Honda looked over and said softly, "Jou's had an operation."

His mother's eyebrows rose, "Why didn't you tell me?" she immediately stepped on the pedal and turned the car back in the direction of the hospital, making other driver's honk their horns and give her rude gestures. She looked just as nervous as Honda, "What's wrong with him? Did something happen?"

Honda shrugged, "I don't know. All I know is that it's his heart. He had the operation earlier this morning."

They returned to the hospital and Honda's mother had barely parked when she opened the door, "Let's go, Hiroto!" she ran back inside and pushed the button for the elevator.

Honda was not surprised by her reaction. He was expecting her to act this way. He only followed and walked into the elevator, "Mom, please relax. I'm sure he's lying in his bed just fine."

"I'm sure you're right." She replied. The elevator reached their floor and they both walked out, "He's practically another son to me, you know? You two have been such great friends and I can't help but make sure he's safe too. You two are the world to me. I would never allow anything horrible to happen to either of you."

Honda put an arm around his mother as they down the low corridor that led to Jou's room. He was breathing a little easier now. His mother was right. They were one happy family. As they approached Jou's door, they noticed that it was already open. Were other people visiting too? Honda walked inside to see that there was no Jou lying in his bed. There were no flowers or "get well soon" balloons. Shizuka's smell was now replaced with vomit and iodine. Honda's body turned cold. A nurse was changing the bed sheets when she saw him. She asked, "Can I help you?"

Honda's mother was just as surprised as him, but she was able to speak, "Um yes. Is Jounouchi Katsuya staying in this room?"

"Jounouchi Katsuya?" The nurse had an innocent look on her face. She was suddenly grim, "Oh…I'm sorry. Mr. Jounouchi had his operation this morning. It was quite difficult. I hate to tell you such horrible news." She bowed with sympathy, "He didn't pull through." She stood up again, "Were you family?"

With the most expressionless face he could make, he nodded at her and responded with a, "Yes…yes we were."

x-x-x

Nothing could be said. Nothing could be done. Honda was practically dead to the world as well. He did not talk to anyone afterwards. His walk out of the hospital was robotic and habitual. His mother did not speak either. She was trying her best not to cry in front of her son. If he wasn't going to do it, she had no right to do so.

They got in the car and Honda choked out, "Seto."

Honda's mother looked over at him and asked in a whisper, "Seto?"

"Kaiba."

She had not been aware of anything that was going on in Honda's life so she knew nothing about Seto Kaiba's involvement with Jou or even Honda for that matter. She asked, "Seto Kaiba? The billionaire? What about him, Sweetie?"

"Take me to KaibaCorp. Right now." His turned to face her and she gasped from the intensity that pounced out at her through his eyes. She nodded quickly and said, "S-sure." Already driving, she turned the corner to go farther uptown. She knew where KaibaCorp was just as well as anyone else in Domino.

When they got there, Honda did not say goodbye to his mother. He climbed out of the car and started walking. He knew the way to where he wanted to go. He wanted to be nowhere else. He stood in the elevator, going up the thirty or more floors. At the top, he saw Hotaru for the last time, seeing at her desk with her head buried in her arms. He walked straight past her, not having anything to say. He shoved open the heavy doors of Kaiba's office and saw just who he thought he would.

There was Seto Kaiba, sitting in his office chair, staring at the computer screen, but the monitor was not on. Honda had expected no less. He ran over to the desk, jumped over the surface and wrapped in arms around the strong neck of his lover's, "Seto!" he cried as his tears finally came. He couldn't hold back his sorrow anymore, "Seto!"

The billionaire scooped the boy up in his arms, dry-eyed but still filled with sadness, "I know, Hiroto. I know."

"It's no fair!" Honda continued to scream. He pulled away from Kaiba and started to hit him out of desperation, "You said he'd be okay! You said there was nothing to worry about? What now, Seto! He's GONE! He's DEAD!" he wasn't hurting Kaiba, but his punches made him feel so much better. He had felt so lost, so stupid. All this time, he had been ignoring Jou; taking him for granted. Now that Jou was gone, Honda finally realized what he had been missing this whole time; his best friend. "I want my best friend back! BRING HIM BACK, SETO!"

Kaiba held Honda in, squeezing tightly. He waited until Honda had calmed and said softly, "I can't, Hiroto. You have to accept it for what it is."

"N-no. I can't do that." Honda choked out through his sobs. He clung to Kaiba's jacket with the same vulnerability Jou had had before his operation. He remembered that vulnerability and asked Kaiba, "This whole time…was he always that sick?"

"I guess he was. This whole time, I thought it was because he had a separation issue." Kaiba spoke as if he had been thinking about this for some time. "It turns out, he was just holding on to what he thought was important in life. I think he knew there wasn't much time left."

"Why didn't he tell me? Why didn't he tell any of us?" Honda continued to sob in Kaiba's lap. He couldn't stop. There was more to cry about than the loss of Jou. He just needed a good cry, a conclusion to all of the drama that seemed to never disappear from his life.

"I don't know. That's just the kind of person Jou is. He never wanted to burden anyone with his problems." Kaiba grabbed a tissue from his desk's drawer and handed it to Honda, "Wipe your nose. You're going to make my jacket soggy."

Honda took the tissue and blew his nose. He didn't know what else to say. He watched Kaiba's eyes, seeing nothing but a curtain of blue; the shield that Kaiba would never take down. _What could he be thinking?_ Honda asked himself. The billionaire looked as if he hadn't cried. If anything, he looked normal. Was Kaiba even the least bit upset? His boyfriend was gone forever and all he had done was sit in his office? Honda was beyond surprised. The man knew nothing of mourning.

"You don't feel the least bit upset?" Honda asked, throwing his used tissue away.

"Why should I?"

For some reason, Honda couldn't believe what was going on. There was something in Kaiba's eyes. Actually, to be honest, there was _nothing_ in Kaiba's eyes. The image of his beautiful hero had faded and a stone cold CEO sat in his chair with an aura of death surrounding him. Honda got out of Kaiba's lap and backed away, "He loved you!" he shouted, "He loved you and you loved him!"

His stance was strong, "I don't love anyone."

Kaiba's words stopped Honda dead cold. After all they had done together and after all that has happened; Kaiba feels so love towards Honda. _How can that be true?_ Honda asked himself, his stomach turning upside down, _I'm such a freaking failure! _He said quietly, "Why?"

Kaiba was not expecting such a tiny word to breathe out of Honda's mouth. He cleared his throat and said, "It's the way I am."

"Then change it. Fix it!" Honda cried, "You're horrible! I can't believe how empty you are!" tears that felt like ice went down his face. He had never felt a cooler tear. He thought they were pure and able to clean the cloud that was in front of Honda's eyes. He now could see. He was wrong. He walked over to the door and opened it, looking over his shoulder at Kaiba. He shook his head, saying softly, "You're dead to me." And he closed to door with a soft click.

He walked out of KaibaCorp and didn't look back. He didn't wave at any of his old coworkers and didn't speak a word as he hit the sidewalk in uptown Domino City. He looked left and right, seeing the crowds up people and smelling the smog of urban atmosphere. He couldn't stand it. The racing cars looked so inviting. He had done it once before. There was nothing stopping him from doing it again.

_No. There's so way to be sure that I'll actually die._

"There's no such thing as a sure thing." Honda mumbled to himself as he shoved his hands in his pockets. He began to walk away from the building of KaibaCorp for the last and final time. His head was filled but he couldn't make out what was in it. It was all jumbled together, static being made because of all of the commotion. Honda didn't think much as he walked a couple blocks. He finally found himself at Otogi's apartment. A light was on and Honda's heart filled with sorrow. Otogi did not know yet.

He knew what he had to do. He knocked lightly on the door and waited. Otogi opened the door, a bit shocked to see the other boy standing there, "Honda?"

Honda nodded, "Otogi." His face gave his mood away.

The boy with the black hair frowned, "Honda? Honda, Sweetie, are you alright?"

Honda shook his head, "Otogi." He held the other boy tight just in case he collapsed from the news, "It's Jou."

"What about Jou?" Otogi was confused by the sudden affection but embraced him back.

"He's…" Honda began to sob again, "gone, Otogi."

"Gone? What do you mean gone? He's perfectly fine. I was just talking to him a couple days ago." Otogi began to shake a little in his voice as well as his body.

Honda only held Otogi tightly, "He's dead and he won't ever come back, Otogi! I'm so sorry! I'm sorry!"

Otogi's legs turned into jelly as he was held tight, "Don't say things like that, Honda! It's not funny." He cried into Honda's shoulder.

"I wish I was lying to you, Otogi." Honda whispered softly. He sat down on the floor, holding Otogi in his lap. The two of them cried, Honda was silent but Otogi's sobs were muffled by Honda's jacket. In the middle of the front doorway, the door was wide open for the world to see. The two boys sat there with nothing to say at the other people that lived in the apartment passed by. They didn't want to speak, but the same thoughts ran through their minds; _How could this be happening?_

x-x-x

That be the end of chapter 21 everybody. I'm totally getting flamed for this. Thanks for all of your feedback.


	22. Best Friends Forever

Chapter 22: Best Friends Forever

Jou's funeral happened on one of the prettiest days in Domino City. Honda straightened his tie, finding the weather ironic. He thought Jou would have loved it. It was a Jou kind of day. There were fluffy white clouds that floated lazily past the radiant sun and a soft breeze cooled people's cheeks as they walked to and from places. Honda felt a tear come as he thought about how much Jou would have wanted to hang out at the park or take a joyride on Honda's motorcycle. Honda's heart felt heavy.

Holding Otogi's hand, Honda stood in front of the small crowd that gathered around Jou's coffin. The dark wood reminded Honda of Jou's cheerful eyes. He didn't listen to the words that the priest said during the funeral. He couldn't. His mind wouldn't focus on them. He heard the birds sing and the wind blow and the quiet tears of Jou's father, Honda's mother, and little Shizuka. Honda made a note that Jou's mother was not there. Yugi sniffled every once in a while and Anzu outright sobbed; drowning out what the priest was saying. She was such a disruption, that Yami no Yugi had to escort her away.

"No!" she cried, "No! I want to see Jou! You can't make me leave!" she was so hysterical, Yami no Bakura had no problem slapping her across the face to shut her up.

When the talking was done and the coffin was being lowered into the ground, Honda couldn't help but think about the last few weeks. How horrible he had been, how wrong he was, and how he never told Jou. He was never honest. He should be the one that is dead. Honda blamed himself for them splitting apart. It was never Jou, although he ran around Domino with his boyfriend and spoke of nothing but Seto, who ruined what they had. It was Honda, for being selfish and envious.

Honda didn't move from his spot for over an hour after the funeral was over, he openly stared at Jou's grave, reading the tombstone over and over again.

_Jounouchi Katsuya_

_A beautiful friend and loving as well._

_His only crime was caring too much_

_About the ones he loved._

_He now rises up and waits_

_For us to join him_

_And to be the friend he's always been._

Honda and Shizuka had written it together. They ended up spending the night together; Jou's father too much in grief to mind. Honda held the petite angel in her bed, comforting her as she cried in his chest. There was nothing sexual about the evening, but both of them knew that if circumstances were different, it probably would have been.

Seto Kaiba entered the cemetery, closing the wrought-iron gate behind him. He carried a bouquet of daisies; the only flower that Jou really liked. Honda saw him out of the corner of his eye. He did not want to see Kaiba. It was the first time in all the years Honda could remember that he had no desire to be near the billionaire.

They did not speak. Seto put the bouquet along side with the other flowers that had been placed in front of the stone. He stood beside Honda, the two of them just staring. Finally, Seto reached over and grabbed Honda's hand. He gave it a light squeeze and looked down at Honda.

Honda looked up and saw Seto's face. The tired eyes of the executive were bloodshot and made him look even more exhausted. Honda knew those eyes because he had the same ones. Seto had been crying.

With a nod, Honda reached over and embraced Seto, burying his head into Seto's broad body. He said softly, "I'm sorry."

Seto rested his chin on Honda's head, "Don't." he said with a voice heavy from his previous tears, "I should be sorry." He picked up Honda's head, "I said horrible things and I didn't mean them."

Honda nodded, "I know. We both have." He placed a sympathetic hand on Seto's cheek, "You missed the funeral." He said softly, even though he meant to scold him.

"I can't go to things like that. I don't deal with loss very well, but I'm sure you could figure that out." He almost smiled.

"Yes." Honda said, his lips turning up slightly. He looked down at Jou's grave again, "I'm sure he understands."

Seto looked up and watched the clouds doze off in the early afternoon sky. He pointed out, "It's a beautiful day."

"I know." Honda said with a bit of a laugh, "Jou would have loved it."

"I bet he still does." Seto kissed Honda's forehead and said softly, "Do you want to get some coffee or something?"

Honda shrugged, "I'm not really in the mood." He kept his eyes on the stone; "I really want to um…" he blushed a bit out of embarrassment.

Seto caught on and nodded, "Sure. I'll be at the gate." He kissed Honda one more time on the forehead and walked away, feeling that he would have to talk to Jou another day.

Honda took a deep sigh. Now that he was alone again, he didn't quite know what he wanted to say. He had so much going on in his brain; he didn't know what would come out first. He supposed he should start with the simple things, "Hey."

He thought about how stupid that sounded, but in a way, he knew Jou would have responded with the same thing.

"How are you?" Honda kept going, pretending Jou was answering him back, "I'm fine, I guess. I miss you already." He confessed, "I can't believe how weird this all is. We haven't talked or really been together for a long time and you'd think I was used to it. Though, Jou, when we started to split apart, I always thought 'hey, I'll just call him tomorrow. He's probably doing fine.' I kept putting you off. I never thought I would. I didn't mean to and I'm so sorry." Honda's voice began to quiver.

"Hey, remember the Valentine's Day party at Anzu's? You were so angry and I never really apologized. To be honest, Jou, when I said Seto didn't love me back or that I was going to stop, I lied. I'm such a fake!" He buried his face in his hands, "A-and at Christmas, the necklace that Seto got, was from me and I know he hid it from you and it was a big secret. I didn't want anyone to know! I'm sorry for that too!

"I'm sorry for not being able to date Shizuka. I know how much you wanted me to and I know she loves me, but Jou, when I went to talk to her, she knew that I was in love but not with her. She knew about it. She's so smart, Jou. She's so smart and I know you'll be proud of her when she grows up. She's so lucky to have a big brother like you. I promise I'll try to protect you, but no one could do better than you!" Honda was crying now, unable to stop himself. He had wanted to say all of this for so long, "I never had any siblings but I always saw you as mine. You weren't just my best friend, you were family.

"I wish I could have been more honest with you, but, I never wanted to hurt you, Jou. You were always looking out for Yugi and me and Anzu, but you never thought of yourself!" Honda yelled, "Your whole life was falling apart and you didn't see it and you didn't care because as long as we were all happy, so were you! You're such a fool. You didn't want to question me or Seto because you thought as long as the two of us were happy, you'd be too. Well, look at what happened. This is your fault!"

Honda fell to the ground, yelling at the dirt of Jou's grave as the stinging of tears went down his face once again, "Why couldn't you do something? Why didn't you pull me and Seto apart? Why! WHY JOU?" he punched at the dirt, "I'M SO SICK OF CRYING!"

When he regained his composure, he sat back and wiped his face, getting dirt on his cheeks, "This isn't fair. You know that it isn't. You and Seto should be at the beach right now, on a day like this." Honda shook his head, "I should have died. It would have been better than you. It shouldn't have been you." He stood and brushed himself off, only spreading the dirt onto his clothes, "I'll visit, and I'll make sure that you're resting comfortably, okay? I'll still come and talk to you." He walked away, patting the top of the stone with care, "I love you, Man." And with that, he went over to the gates of the cemetery. However, he didn't see Seto like he thought he would.

He turned around, thinking he had walked by him, but he didn't see anyone. Honda squinted and saw, not too far away, was the tall silhouette that couldn't be mistaken. He walked over, not drawing attention to himself. What was Seto doing?

Seto was standing in between two graves, his shoulders hunched down and he seemed to be mumbling something. Honda got closer and was able to make it out.

"I'm sorry I haven't been visiting very much. I have this job and it take up a lot of my time. It's a burden really, but the money's good. I do it for Mokuba. He's getting along just fine. I'm trying my best to raise him right. He doesn't ask about you, but I'm sure he will when he's older. I plan on bringing him here one of these days. When he's ready, you know?"

Honda stood very still. He tried to look around Seto to see who he was talking to. He was able to catch a glance and saw the stone matched. They were clean and made of marble that was silver in color. They looked expensive. Honda couldn't figure out who they were so he continued to listen.

"I would have brought you flowers, but I didn't really think of it until now. I came here today to see someone else who passed away. Maybe you'll bump into him. He's unforgettable." Seto's voice became so warm, Honda could hardly recognize it. He had only heard it once; when Seto called Honda "Hiroto". "He has golden hair and the sweetest brown eyes. He'll probably find you and embrace you tight, so be careful. He was one of my dearest friends and I'm sure you'll love him. He…" Seto became quiet all of a sudden, "he could actually understand me. Nobody ever treated me the way he did. He was strange, but that's what I loved about him. He had a heart so big; I think he tried to fill it up with his love for everyone. I wish…I wish that was why he needed the new heart."

He had silent tears go down his face as he ended his visit, "I promise to pray for you and I hope to see you again someday. I need to go now. I have a date. He's great too. I think he'll be able to help me move on and maybe he'll be able to fix this rut I'm in." he gripped the tops of both graves and squeezed with all the affection he could, "I wish I could wrap my arms around you, but I suppose not being able to do it now will make it so much better later." He stepped back and waved a little, "Take care."

Seto turned around, coming face to face with Honda. His eyes went wide, his jaw dropped from his gasp. Honda looked afraid, "I'm sorry!" he said, "I shouldn't have listened!"

Seto shook his head, "It's alright." He leaned down and melted Honda with his lips. They kissed for what seemed like forever before Honda pulled away and asked, "Who are they?"

"It's not obvious?"

Honda read the stones. There were no clues except that they were married. Finally, it clicked, "They're your-? Oh." He suddenly became very humble. He bowed in front of the graves and smiled, "How are they?"

Seto gave another one of his rare smiles, "Great." He held Honda's hand again, unable to think of anything better, "Ready to go?"

Honda nodded, "Yea. I think so." They walked out of the cemetery and Honda saw a little daisy poking out of the grass that was overgrown next to the wall. People walked by it, not noticing its beauty. The gust of people's steps caused it to twist and turn in discomfort. Honda bent down, dug it up with his already filthy hands and pulled the daisy out with its roots still attached. He held the flower with great care as he and Seto continued to venture down the road. When he got wherever he was going, he planned on putting it in a vase and watching it grow.

X-x-x

A/N: It's a short chapter, but there was a lot of writing so you'll have to excuse the page that is missing. I don't think this chapter was depressing. If anything, it was quite uplifting for me when I read it over. I hope you all feel the same. As for Seto, I don't think I broke the OOC wall. I might be mistaken though, so feel free to tell me in a review. See you all soon in Chapter 23! I'm sorry to say that it will be the last one.


	23. Take Care

The final Chapter is upon us. This means that Honda and Seto will finally have their defining moment. I'm sure you're all excited to see that. This has been a wonderful journey and through all of it, it was definitely one of the best years of my life. I made this chapter twice as longer as the others. I figured it was something that I had to do to say thank you for all of your support. I really loved sharing this with you all. This is the conclusion of Ramune.

Chapter 23: Take Care

Everything had happened so fast. It seemed as if Jou's death had happened five seconds before the funeral and everything spun in circles around Honda's head. Yet, for some reason, it was almost like he was the only one who felt this way.

Life had turned back to normal by the time school was wrapping up. Honda had already finished his final exams and his classes were nothing more than his teachers ranting about the next year. Honda didn't care anymore. He just wanted summer to start.

Nothing particularly special happened during the summer holidays. Honda just enjoyed the freedom of being able to wake up when he pleased and do whatever he wanted during the day. To Honda, there was nothing better than sitting on your couch with a carton of his favorite ice cream on his lap and his favorite movie playing on the television.

One day, a week before the school closed, Anzu had approached everyone, "I'm having a picnic!"

Both Yugi and Honda's eyebrows went up, "Erm…Anzu. Do you think that's such a good idea?" Yugi asked.

"Why wouldn't it be?" Anzu asked with an evil gleam in her eye, her hands on her hips.

"Well, I think what Yugi's trying to say is…" Honda bit his lip, "remember how your Valentine's party went?"

"So?" Anzu said in her bossy tone, "Mai and I are fine. In fact, I'm inviting her _and_ Isis."

Honda and Yugi exchanged uneasy glances, "Well…" Yugi said slowly, "If you want to, there's no reason not to."

"Yay!" Anzu cheered, handing them both pink slips of paper, "It's Saturday at eleven and bring something for us to snack on, alright?"

"Sure." Honda said and checked his watch, "Oh! Shoot. I need to go." He grabbed his backpack and stood up from Yugi's living room floor. He pulled his arms through the straps and waved, "I'll catch up with you guys later!"

"Where are you going?" Anzu asked. She always needed to know.

Honda answered without hesitation, "Work." He tugged on his shoes, and without another word, he was on his motorcycle and gone.

It was true that Honda had to work. The reason he was so excited about it was that he was still working for Seto Kaiba. Only, it was a bit more different than working at KaibaCorp.

"Honda!" Mokuba called out with glee, wrapping his arms around Honda's torso; successfully embracing the other boy tightly.

Honda hugged him back, "Hey, Kiddo. Where's your brother?"

"Upstairs, but you're here for me, right?" Mokuba asked with a bit of cheek.

Laughing, Honda ruffled Mokuba's hair, "Right. Did you do your homework?"

"What homework? There's never any homework at this time of the year." Mokuba grabbed Honda's sleeve. He started to tug him up the stairs, "I got this really cool new game yesterday! We can play it together!"

Honda smiled, "Sure. Let me go talk to your brother first, alright?"

Mokuba nodded, "Okay!" and he scurried down the corridor to his room. Honda watched him go and once the door was shut, he walked in the other direction. He knocked lightly on the dark stained door and said quietly, "Seto?"

"Enter." Replied the gruff tone that Honda had gotten used to. He opened the door and saw the CEO wasn't at his computer, but instead laying on his back on the couch inside the office. Seto had his eyes closed, his fingers at his temples. Honda frowned, "Poor thing. You're working too hard."

"I am not." Seto snapped, sitting up, "I just have a headache. It's not a big deal." He smiled weakly when he saw Honda's face, "Hi."

Honda tried not to laugh, "Hi yourself." Out of all the available space that was on the plush couch, he chose to sit in Seto's lap. Kissing the taller boy's forehead, he said softly, "What time will you be home tonight?"

"Not too late. It'll probably be nine the latest." Seto's voice was no longer harsh, but instead delicate and filled with fatigue. He sounded much too tired to be going back to KaibaCorp for four more hours.

Honda sighed, "I wish you wouldn't go. You should get some sleep."

Seto gently pushed Honda to the side, settling him on the couch, "Sleep is for quitters." He said to be a joke, but his tone was serious. He gathered his jacket and checked the pockets for his cell phone, "If I don't come home by eight, get Mokuba ready for bed. He gets tucked in at nine without exception."

"Yes, Sir." Honda said, standing from the couch. He wanted to ask Seto, but he felt like it wasn't important enough for the moment. Instead, he said, "Seto, I love you." He didn't know why he said it or why he picked that exact time to say it, but he felt like it was necessary.

Seto chuckled a little, "Honda, you know it's Mr. Kaiba when you're working." He kissed Honda's cheek.

Honda smiled big, "Sorry, _Mister_ Kaiba." He cleared his throat. In a deep voice, he said, "I love you, _Mister_ Kaiba."

"Don't mock me." Seto said, smacking Honda on the rear. He received a slight moan in return. The effect was pleasurable enough for him to leave the office and call down the hallway, "I'm leaving now, Mokuba!"

"Okay! Bye!" yelled a voice from far away.

Honda followed Seto out of the mansion, leaning against the front door frame with his arms crossed. Kaiba had gotten halfway down the front entryway's path before he realized what he had forgotten. He quickly turned around and stood in front of Honda, "Bye." He said shortly and kissed Honda fondly.

Honda smiled, "Be safe."

"If you say so." Seto saluted lazily and climbed into the car that was already in the driveway. Honda stood there and watched him go, waving as he turned out of the gates onto the street. He sighed and walked back inside the mansion.

He had been working as Mokuba's keeper since Honda went to the coffee shop with Seto the afternoon of Jou's funeral. He remembered how Seto had said that Mokuba was becoming lonely and he needed someone to take care of him while Seto was away. Honda could recall his response.

_"Well, why don't you hire someone to be there for him? Almost like hiring a friend that will watch him."_

_Seto sat in the café's sleek chair with a pensive look on his face. He soon nodded and said, "Yes. That sounds like a great idea."_

_Honda smiled; pleased he could make his beloved happy, "Well, you should probably hire someone soon. School's almost out and people are going to be looking for summer jobs."_

_"Good point." Seto nodded, "I'll need someone around Mokuba's age, but old enough to be responsible…" he thought aloud, "It should be a boy so Mokuba will be more comfortable."_

_Honda agreed with each point, "That sounds perfect."_

_"Mokuba deserves nothing short of it." Seto said, taking a large drink of his coffee. His eyebrow suddenly twitched and he got a devilish look in his eye. He put down his coffee cup and said, "What about you?"_

_Nearly choking on his tea, Honda coughed, "W-what?"_

_"You're everything I just thought of…" Seto smirked, "including the 'perfect'."_

_Honda blushed, "Well…I suppose."_

"HONDA!" Mokuba's voice shot down the stairs like a cannonball, "HURRY UP!"

"Oops!" Honda locked the front door of the mansion and ran his way up the large staircase. The last thing he needed was to lose _another_ job with Kaiba.

x-x-x

Saturday came by very fast for Honda. He had woken up that morning and was halfway in his school uniform before he realized he did not have to go to school that day. Instead, he opened the refrigerator and pulled out the fruit salad he promised Anzu he'd make. He had been up last night with his mother cutting the fruit and making sure everything was perfect. It was an enjoyable evening. It had been a long time since Honda had spent real quality time with his mother.

He decided to walk to Anzu's. It was not too far away and he thought it was the best way to travel without putting the salad in danger. He was out the door and down at the street corner by the time he saw a familiar black car in front of his home. He turned around and began to walk back up the road. He looked up at his apartment door and saw the person he knew would be standing there, "Hey! Seto!"

The boy looked over the railing and saw Honda. With his hands in his pocket, he traveled back down, standing face to face to his betrothed. Honda suddenly felt stupid holding a bowl of fruit salad in his hands, "Umm… hi. What are you doing here?"

"I was going to take you to Anzu's."

"How did you know about that?" Honda's brow knit in confusion. He hoped that Seto was not stalking him.

Seto pulled a piece of pink paper out of his pocket, "Strangely enough, I was invited. I figured if I was, then you were as well."

"Well, yea, but…" Honda blushed, "I'm kind of out of your way to her house."

"So?" Seto walked over to his car and opened the door for Honda, "Let's go or we'll be late."

Honda nodded, "Okay." he said dumbly and climbed into the car. He carefully placed the fruit salad in his lap and smiled. He remembered the first time he had gotten into Seto's car. It was during the Christmas party and he was so nervous to be even in the same room as Seto; let alone his car.

He fumbled with the ring that Seto had bought him for Christmas. It was a little big on him, but he didn't trust someone to resize it. It was his most treasured possession. He couldn't help but laugh as he thought about how Seto had been so embarrassed to give it to him. It was well after Christmas at the time he had confessed his feelings for Honda.

"What?" Seto asked, taking the turn onto Anzu's street.

"Nothing." Said Honda, shaking his head. He looked out the window, watching people of all shapes and sizes walk along the sidewalk that everyone takes for granted. For once, he was just like those people. He didn't care about the sidewalk either. He didn't care about anything except the boy who sat beside him in the car. Honda reached over, not looking, and placed his hand over Seto's on the arm rest. He was finally coming full circle. He just hoped that Jou, wherever he was, could enjoy this happiness with him.

x-x-x

Anzu's party was nothing short of her usual ones. Everyone was there and it wasn't so much a picnic in her backyard as it was a complete fiasco. She made a huge sign on her front door that said, "PARTY'S TO THE LEFT THROUGH THE GATE!"

Honda was more that sure that she wasn't kidding. When he and Seto pushed the gate and walked through, they saw that they were of the last to arrive. The entire backyard, which was small to begin with, was cluttered with everyone that Honda had ever met. He nearly stepped on Ryou's foot as he tried to travel farther in. Seto held the fruit salad above his head so nothing would happen to it and they went over to the picnic tables, where Anzu was dancing on top of one with her party hat sideways. Malik and Yami no Yugi were at her sides.

"HI HONDA!" Anzu greeted much too loudly. She waved and beamed when she saw what Seto was holding, "OH GOOD! THE FRUIT SALAD!"

"What did you need fruit salad for?" said Yami no Yugi, swinging his hips to the music that was playing, "You have enough fruits here to have a fruit palace!"

"Only you would mention palaces." Malik snapped, rolling his eyes.

Honda laughed, watching Seto put the bowl down on a table that didn't have a party going on top of it. Hearing the music, Honda's mind began to conjure ideas. He grabbed Seto by the belt loop of his pants and pulled him into the crowd that was dancing near the picnic table. Seto instantly tried to fight him off, "No. I don't dance."

"You lie, Seto Kaiba!" Honda said, laughing hysterically now, "Mokuba told me you two dance all the time. Especially…" Honda leaned up and whispered in his ear, "to _techno._"

Seto gulped, his eyes wide. He sighed and smiled down at Honda, "Okay. You win, but only one song." He grabbed Honda's hips and began to move with the music, his eyes never leaving Honda. In a way, Honda supposed it was Seto's way of blocking everyone else out. It was his way of not getting embarrassed. Honda did the same, only looking at Seto. After awhile, it was just the two of them in their minds and that's how they both really wanted it.

X-x-x

Honda had planned on going home after Anzu's party, but Seto insisted otherwise. He was surprised at first, unsure as to why Seto would ask him to spend the night. Then, as he was on the phone with his mother, he had figured it out. Seto wanted to go the next step.

Out of all the times he had imagined it. He had dreamed of this moment for so long, it was almost like he waited his entire life. Honda was going to spend a night with Seto Kaiba; alone.

They got into the mansion, casually stepping inside and removing their shoes. Seto immediately went upstairs, unbuttoning his short sleeved collared shirt. Honda, who didn't know what to do, decided to followed.

He had never been in Seto's room before. He took in the luxurious wood floors and the high four-poster bed. Honda watched Seto disappear into a closet that was much too large for just a place to store clothing. He turned his attention back to the bed, where he knew he'd be spending the next ten hours or so. The top blanket was a deep blue with silver embroidery. Honda expected no less. He sat down on the foot of the bed and looked out the window. The moonlight was making the clouds glow in a giddy sort of way. Honda smiled. It was perfect.

Seto emerged from the closet, buttoning the cuffs of a white silk sleeve. The front had yet to be closed. Honda couldn't help but stare at Seto's fine toned torso. Honda expected it to be not from exercise, but from a lack of eating and excessive working. Still, Seto's stomach looked so flat and, Honda bet, that if he touched it, it would feel as creamy as it appeared.

Seto had been watching Honda's wandering eyes with a smirk, "I suppose you don't want me to button the front, do you?" he slipped the silk off of his shoulders and let it dangle from his elbows, "Here."

Honda was beyond words. He couldn't move. He couldn't do much of anything but stare at the strong lines of Seto's upper body. Seto took the advancing movements, getting so close to Honda that there was no space in between their feet. He grabbed one of Honda's hands, squeezing it to reassure him. He placed Honda's now trembling hand onto his heart and said, "Go ahead."

Seto's heart beat felt slower than most. Honda looked up in his lover's eyes to make sure that he was alright and he looked positively radiant. Putting his head back down, Honda traced the lines of Seto's chest up to the delicateness of Seto's collar bone. He continued to go up, tracing his fingers over Seto's surprisingly soft lips. He suddenly felt more embarrassed than he had before, "Seto, I-"

"Don't." Seto said, taking a hold of Honda's wrist and keeping his hand near his lips. He kissed each finger lovingly before whispering, "I love you, Hiroto." He held Honda's cheek with his free hand. He watched Honda's eyes slip close in surrender and he sealed the moment with a passionate kiss.

Honda wasn't afraid anymore. He was a virgin, but he had the confidence of a whore. Seto said that he loved him and he proved it long enough for Honda to know that it was true. Already halfway on the bed, he jumped up, taking a seat on the plush blankets. He pulled his own shirt over his head before capturing Seto's lips. He would never grow tired of feeling the pressure of Seto's want against his lips. He would always feel eager to taste his lover again and again.

Lips and hands were everywhere. As the clothes shed away from their bodies, their desires grew. Seto had already made Honda aware of his growing arousal beneath his silk pants. Honda, who was laying against the mountain of pillows that was at the top of the bed, was biting his lip with anxiety. He had been alright with being naked halfway, but something about showing him the bottom, the most private part of Honda's body, was making him nervous.

Seto undid Honda's belt, not even looking at it. He kissed Honda's forehead and cheeks as he popped the button through the hole and undid the zipper. He saw the panicked look in Honda's eyes as he started to pull them off. With a knowing expression, Seto kissed Honda. He whispered against his lips, "Let me see."

Honda turned his head to the side, staring out the window. He wasn't able to look at Seto while his pants hit the floor. He was afraid that Seto would rise off of Honda's body, put his shirt back on, and dismiss him from his life. It was a horrible feeling that burned his stomach. Honda was so mad. He felt like a girl. Honda squeezed his eyes shut, waiting for the rejection to come.

"Beautiful." Honda cracked open one eye. He glanced over at Seto out of the corner and saw that Seto had sat back on his heels. His sapphire eyes were drinking in every bit of the other boy. Before Honda could protest, Seto's lips had made their way from Honda's navel to his manhood; something that only he has touched.

However, no matter how many times Honda had masturbated or fondled with himself, it never felt as good as Seto's lips or his tongue on the tip. Honda let out an innocent moan, his head rolling back. He had never experienced such a beautiful thing.

Seto said quietly, "Hiroto?"

"Oh please don't stop that." Honda panted, looking down at Seto's face. The other boy was holding Honda's shaft but his expression was completely serious. He asked, "What's wrong?"

"You waited for me, didn't you?" Seto asked, he wet a few of his fingers and placed one deep inside Honda's entrance.

"Ah!" Honda gasped. He nodded his head, his cheeks flushed from confessing such a secret, "Yes. I- I wanted to give myself to you before anyone else."

Seto was shocked. He crawled up Honda's body and pressed his forehead against his. He said, his eyes closed, "Thank you for the honor."

Honda felt tears in his eyes as he shook his head, "No. I should be thanking you." He reached up and cupped Seto's face, "I love you so much, Seto." He wrapped his arms around Seto's neck, "So much."

There were no words after that. Seto had prepared Honda, enjoying the moans and gasps that his new lover made. Finally, when he entered Honda with his own manhood, did he moan too. The heat that suddenly traveled through both of their bodies was immense. It didn't last too long. With Honda's lack of experience it didn't take too many of Seto's thrusts to make him see stars. Seto didn't wait too much later and the two laid silently underneath the crisp, white sheets. Honda, who was still catching his breath, looking out the window with his vision blurred from his orgasm. The moon was still shining, if not more brightly than it had before. Through the blur, Honda could still make out the clouds. He smiled, holding Seto's sleepy head against his shoulder. It really was _perfect_.

x-x-x

Though, when Honda awoke the next morning, he didn't feel as happy as he should have been. He felt Seto's chest rising and falling from sleep. Laying on his back, he looked around the room. The sunlight was pouring in, making everything be surrounded by an aura of light. Honda looked out the window and saw the clouds had disappeared. It was another gorgeous day. It was a Jou day.

Jou; the boy that had once captured the heart of Honda's present lover. Did Seto still think about him? Honda sat up and looked down at Seto's sleeping face. The business man was completely tuckered out. Honda saw the strong jaw line was somehow replaced with one that belonged to a young boy. It didn't look as if Seto had any problem in the world. It was almost a month, but still, Honda's heart ached for his best friend. Did Seto hurt too?

Honda decided what he was going to do next. He leaned down and kissed Seto's forehead. Grunting, Seto shifted in his sleep, but not really moving. Honda smiled, making a memory of Seto's angelic state while he had the chance.

He slowly rose out of the bed so he wouldn't wake him and grabbed his clothes. He got dressed and went downstairs. He found Mokuba sitting in the living room with a bowl of cereal in his lap. Honda smiled, "Good morning, Mokuba."

"Honda?" Mokuba asked, putting the cereal aside, "What are you doing here so early?"

Honda walked over to the couch that Mokuba sat on. He knelt down on the floor and hugged the boy tight, "I'm going away for awhile, Mokuba."

"What? Why?" The younger boy was shocked, "You can't go, Honda! How long are you going for?"

"I don't know." Honda said, "Probably until school starts. I have no idea, really."

Mokuba asked quietly, "Does this have to do with Seto?"

Honda shrugged, "In a way, yes it does." He ruffled Mokuba's hair, "Don't worry. I'll be back before you know it."

"Okay." Mokuba reached out, sticking up his pinky, "Pinky promise?"

Tears suddenly choked Honda as he gripping Mokuba's small pinky with his, "Pinky promise." He stood up and walked out, "See you later."

"Bye." And without another word, Honda was out of the Kaiba mansion. He ran off the grounds, not looking back. He turned onto the street and kept running. He figured that if Seto had seen him leave through a window, he'd better keep running so he couldn't chase him down.

He was completely out of breath by the time he reached his front door. He tried the knob before he pulled out his key and was not surprised to find it unlocked. His mother was in the kitchen, making herself toast, "Is that you, Hiroto?"

Honda slammed the front door shut, ran into the kitchen, and scooped his mother into a great big hug, "I love you, Mom."

"Goodness!" she cried, "Hiroto, Darling, did something happen?"

"I need to leave again." Honda said, disappearing down the hallway.

His mother followed, shutting off the toaster, "What? Where to? Why?" for once, she wanted to ask him the questions.

Honda shoved any item of clothing he saw into a backpack. He opened up his jar of keepsake money and threw it into the bag as well. He was in a rush. He didn't want Seto to catch up to him. He answered his mother, "I don't know where I'm going. I just need to think."

"About where you're going after high school? Next year is your last, Hiroto."

"It's more than that, Ma," Honda said, "but, thanks for adding that onto the list." He went into the bathroom and grabbed his toothbrush and a couple other items. He almost ran his mother over as he went back into the living room to find his motorcycle gloves, "I'll be back before school starts."

"O-okay." She asked, "Do you need anything? Money?"

"No, I'll be fine." Honda was halfway out the door before he realized he was still in conversation. He turned around and hugged her again, "I'll call soon."

"Be safe." She repeated what he always said to Seto. She smiled and added, "I hope you find what you're looking for."

Honda nodded, "Thanks, Ma." He grabbed his keys from the coffee table and left, not looking back to his home either.

He climbed onto his motorcycle and started it up. That was then he realized there was something else he needed to settle. With his backpack on his back, he sped off uptown. He needed to speak to someone before he left.

He traveled up the familiar steps and knocked on the door, "Otogi? Are you home?"

Otogi poked his head out of the door, already dressed for the day, "Honda? What are you doing here?"

"Pack a bag."

"What?" Otogi opened the door wider, a little surprised, "What for?"

"You're coming with me." Honda said, looking over his shoulder for any black cars.

"Where are we going?"

Honda shrugged, "Wherever. I just want to get away from here."

Otogi's eyebrows went up, "You slept with him, didn't you?"

Honda nodded, "There's no time for that. We need to get out of here before he tries to find me."

"You have what you wanted!" Otogi cried, walking back into his apartment. He was pissed beyond belief, "He's yours, Honda! Why on _earth_ would you want to run away from that?"

"I don't know." Honda said, "But I'm going to do it anyways." He offered Otogi a hand, "Are you coming or not?"

There were a couple moments where anything could have happened. Otogi could have slapped Honda in the face or he could have ran up and kissed the boy silly. Instead, he glanced from the hand to Honda's serious face. He sighed and said, "Alright. Let me go pack."

Honda smiled wide, "Okay. Hurry up!"

Hurry he did. Otogi was on the back of Honda's motorcycle is less than ten minutes. With helmets on, the two of them eased their way into early morning Domino traffic. Even though he was driving, Honda still noticed the sights around him. The commuters and the school kids that littered the sidewalks made Honda smile.

He stopped at the traffic light and looked around. A group of girls were walking down the side walk, each holding their own bottle of Ramune. Honda watched with fascination as the girls took turns opening the bottles. The last girl, the smallest of them all, had trouble and ended up shaking her bottle as she opened it. As the marble fell, the bubbles rose and covered her hands and shirt with the sticky drink. As the other girls laughed, Honda could only sympathize. He could only think of one thing he would say to them if he ever saw them again.

_Don't let the marble drop too far down._


End file.
